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4c4sale · ‎19-09-2014

This is a seriously undertold story, and this website is a good place to learn the truth about the staggering number of male victims of domestic abuse in Australia:

http://www.oneinthree.com.au/

Men are MUCH less likely (three times less likely it seems) to report being battered and attacked by their female partners than women who are attacked by men, and further, men have less support if they do speak out.

Men may face scorn, derision and disbelief when they report being abused.

If one considers the vastly lower reporting of these incidents by men, and combines this with the higher number of women who abuse children, it arises that women - not men - are the majority domestic abusers in Australia, Great Britain and the United States.

Time to start spreading this truth, and working for change on BOTH sides of the gender equation.

ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

Very interesting topic and thanks for posting 4c.

I listened to the video and that first man's story was most heartbreaking, not that the other one wasn't too.

Another thing that was interesting and I hope I can remember exactly now but in the study they said that they didn't take into account any of male victims, I believe it was for some government program designed exclusively for women and children. If I got that right, that is outrageous.

And again, the shame I would imagine is double for men when it is a woman abuser.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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love*today · ‎19-09-2014

DV against men is rising and the numbers shocked me when I looked into them earlier this year.
Men are lucky that women have done the groundwork of removing that scorn, derision and disbelief when reporting and speaking out!
Services already work for Both genders, work needs to be done on getting more men to speak up but remember after all the groundwork with women there are still those that refuse to leave and continue to live with that abuse.
You also have to remember that male DV is not just solely from "women" partners.

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ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

I know I've always been kind of shocked when I've heard of verbal threats of violence coming from women but now I see they very well mean it, or very well could mean it.

I was aware that women abuse their children a lot and in many ways.

Yup, light needs to be shed on this subject, indeed.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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love*today · ‎19-09-2014

I've told the story of a male we knew on here a few times now. His misses would bash the carp out of him. He had to go home at smoko and lunch everyday to make sure their kids were ok.
His misses was not a big girl either and he was not exactly small, I never understood why he didn't just ko the situation.

Battered syndrome and loving them is more powerful then anything anyone outside can do to help.

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ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

From the article:

...Research from the 2012 ABS Personal Safety Survey and Australian Institute of Criminology shows that both men and women in Australia experience substantial levels of violence. Males make up a significant proportion of victims of family and sexual violence, yet are excluded from government anti-violence programs such as Our Watch and ANROWS.

75 males were killed in domestic homicide incidents between 2008-10. This equates to one death every 10 days...

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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love*today · ‎19-09-2014

Why is this turning into a women are abused more than men thing?!

The op clearly states that awareness is needed and that change is needed. I agree with this!!!

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ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

From the article posted in the link in op:

...MALE VICTIMS LACK SUPPORT

While many services have quite rightly been established over the past four decades to support female victims of family violence, the needs of male victims remain largely unmet. Historically government policies have been based on the assumption that the vast majority of perpetrators are male and the vast majority of victims are female, and the policies of current governments are still based on this erroneous position. Indeed, regretfully, the National Council to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children did not include male victims in their otherwise laudable March 2009 recommendations which have been enthusiastically supported by the federal government and the Council of Australian Governments. Now is the time for action by politicians and community leaders to recognise that a comprehensive approach is required to combat the scourge of family violence...

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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katydidthat · ‎19-09-2014

The statistics are discussed in one of the links I posted, Siggie.

"The claim that men are half or one-third of victims
So, who are the victims and perpetrators of domestic violence? The claim that men are a significant proportion of victims of domestic and family violence is increasingly prominent in community debates. In Australia, the most vocal and articulate proponent of this claim is the organisation Men’s Health Australia. Its “One in Three” campaign centres on the claim that men are one-third of domestic violence victims. A related claim is that women are a significant proportion of perpetrators of domestic violence. Claims about women’s violence to men also are made by people in the community."

That's in Flood's Gender and Domestic Violence article.

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love*today · ‎19-09-2014

Great links Katy.

I agree step and after doing some quick searches there is a long way to go with helping male dv victims.

4c you are also correct with mothers that abuse their children. I'd love to see more invested in this. I do my bit by reporting to child services and I don't care who it is I'm dobbing on, I just think of the children....nothing gets done but child protection can't act on one phonecall....at least it's on record.

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katydidthat · ‎19-09-2014

Thanks, Love.

Michael Flood began his academic life in Canberra and started a group of men looking at what triggered their violence - it was one of the first of its kind. Since then, he's been very active in researching the area of domestic violence.

For those who don't click on links, this is his conclusion:

"In relation to domestic violence between adults, we should continue to focus largely on men’s violence against women. And to devote most service responses and resources to this.

More widely, we must address violence against men, which is overwhelmingly male-male violence.

I’ve argued that we need to pay attention to the detail of both women’s and men’s experiences of victimisation and perpetration: to the character of violence and abuse, to their dynamics and meaning, to their impact, and to their contexts.
Otherwise, we will commit errors of fact, of theory, and of intervention.

Errors of fact: We will fail to recognise the true pattern, the actual pattern, of domestic and family violence.

Errors of theory: We will be unable to properly explain domestic and family violence – to identify predictors and social and structural causes.

Errors of intervention: And as a result of the first two, we will adopt strategies of intervention which are inappropriate for many victims, or do not apply to the kinds of violence they’re being used for.

If we don’t pay attention to the realities of women’s and men’s experiences of domestic and family violence, we will fail both female and male victims alike."

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lloydslights · ‎19-09-2014

The topic is ....."male victims of family/domestic violence"

There is no denial that women may and do suffer from the disgraceful actions of others. And support has grown for their plight.

Just as there is ongoing support for the reporting of children in similar circumstances.

We've become aware of workplace bullying. And procedures for its discontinuation.

Most of us won't put up with animal abuse.

However, now is the time for the awareness of males being domestically violated.

Actually, "violence" may be the wrong word; to me it implies only physical bashing.

Mental abuse can be far more damaging.

Some women can be so cruel with their words. Downtrodden males; nagged into depression; suppression;leading to suicide or lashing out physically at the one that is causing the pain. (And consequently, leading to the media headlines of "Wife beaten to death by Husband" and subsequent "government-report-findings" being misrepresented.)

And sometimes these males murder their loved ones and then suicide.

The Men's Shed movement is accepted by us as legitimate assistance for males.

Let's align our compassion for abused males with that same compassion we should have for all human beings

DEB

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ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

@4c4sale wrote:
@katydidthat wrote:
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/www/content/default.aspx?cid=1299&fid=586

I had a look at our local organisation "Dads in Distress".
Not a resource for men who have been abused by their partners (the topic of this thread), but telling in the paucity of support it offers for such situations.

We have a long, long way to go, as the refusal here to accept the painful truth of women as majorty abusers demonstrates.

No kidding, the link is woefully remiss in places for male victims of abuse at the hands of females (what the topic is about).

It just proved your point 4c and the op.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

Yes, good one, a race to the end of the domestic abuse.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

Yes, a good and honest debate is exactly what 4c and I have achieved in regard to this topic. The topic, as it happens, is about male victims of domestic abuse and the need to recognize this, not deflect from it but hopefully end it for them, for all.

Not really hard to grasp I wouldn't think.

I suggest again a review.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

Gosh, I'd never think to put a joke like that in a thread about violent crimes committed against any group, be they men, women, gay people, etc.

I'll never understand it.

Telling though.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

@siggie-reported-by-alarmists wrote:
Indeed Katy..... this line jumped out at me ....."explaining how flawed information leads to flawed public policy"..very apt.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Indeed siggie,

And in the op link, they discuss how programs were designed, but it wasn't flawed information that lead to flawed public policy, it was ignored information that led to it.

It also, if one actually read the op link and also other links within it, that some find the idea of violence against men humorous, actually laughing at videos of it.

So it surely does look like 4c brought an important issue into the light, where it belongs.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

I think it is a good idea and fair to the op 4c if we stay on topic. Besides I have no idea what you are talking about.

My kids used to say things like ya but whattabout so and so, that never worked with me. People need to be held responsible for their own behavior I believe.

I don't think violence against men, gay men, straight men, is anything to joke about, do you?

I have sons too and grandsons, don't want anyone to think violence against them would be funny and that goes for other peoples' sons too. I am hoping that is reciprocal at least.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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punch*drunk · ‎20-09-2014

You are joking? One woman each week in Australia? Ridiculously small? If it was one man each week, there would be an outcry and money poured into a solution.

Are you taking me out of conext on purpose?

Just in case you're not and you truly dont understand what I mean, millions of people are affected by domestice vilolence, 52 women dying as aresult of domestic violence is of course tragic, but its so smalll a percentage of the overall amount that it couldnt be relied upon as data to back up whether men or women are the main perpertrators.

I realise I'm not as articulate as others here, but I'm pretty sure most people could read my post and not think I'm trivialising the deaths of those women.

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

No, it is 9.73 days to be exact.

And this topic is about the fact that there is significant violence against males.

No one denies that women are abused and killed also but that isn't the point, doesn't happen to be the topic this time.

The other point of this topic is that there isn't much in the way of resources for men who are abused by women and not enough outreach either.

Did you read the op and the earlier posts? Because this has all been gone over.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

Well, here's what the topic is about and where the every 10 days comes from:

Here:

"Source: ABS 2010; AIC NHMP 1989–90 to 2009–10 [computer file]

The representation of male and female homicide victims varies depending on the type of homicide (see Table 10). Throughout 2008–09 and 2009–10, 194 victims were killed by an offender with whom they shared a principal domestic relationship, of which close to two in five (n=75; 39%) of these victims were male, while approximately three in five (n=116; 61%) were female. 39% of 194 is 75."

Oh and this is in Australia!!!

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

@4c4sale wrote:
It's notable that denial takes many forms, and asserts itself via various means.

Thanks for staying on topic, Step!

You're more than welcome.

A very important topic. And I wasn't aware the problem was as big as it is and the help for males as little as it is.

A worthy thread and topic and thanks for enlightening us all 4c.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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ruloinfovoter · ‎20-09-2014

Incorrect.

I made zero mistakes.

The number 75 was stated as 75 males that died from domestic homicides from 2008-2010, it was accurate and credible and substantiated.

It is as simple as that. It can't be twisted into something it isn't, no matter how many times it is tried.

The fact remains.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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bluecat*dancing · ‎29-09-2014

So, what have you done or will be doing to assist men who are victims of domestic violence? It shouldn't be a competition as to which gender suffers the most - that is counter-productive and divisive - but more about creating awareness based on empirical evidence. ALL domestic violence is horrendous regardless of whether you are female or male.

**************************

"There is nothing more; but I want nothing more." Christopher Hitchins

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ruloinfovoter · ‎29-09-2014

Like I said, I wasn't aware that it was as large a problem as it is. I'm glad you put some sunlight on it.

Besides 4c, you never know, I bet it has done some good in spite of all the denial and every other tactic employed.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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cartooncomics · ‎29-09-2014

I remember when my friend Pepe was stabbed w/ a pen knife by his Italian girlfriend. Thay broke up.

To this day i'm still the only one who knew.

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ruloinfovoter · ‎29-09-2014

I had a cousin that was almost stabbed by his wife, caught him cheating, well that's we think it all stemmed from.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

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cartooncomics · ‎29-09-2014

had another pal whos girlfriend stabbed him with a fork. because he called her that woman. I was there.

She was Italian too.

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siggie-reported-by-alarmists · ‎19-09-2014

Without evidence to support that statement..... it's an opinion.

____________________________
"High and low pressure systems cause the day-to-day changes in our weather." ...Metoffice.......

siggie-reported-by-alarmists..............

this-one-time-at-bandcamp · ‎19-09-2014

It appears that someone must have walked into a "women only" bar, and gotten roughed up. That would explain the obvious bias.

ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

Very interesting topic and thanks for posting 4c.

I listened to the video and that first man's story was most heartbreaking, not that the other one wasn't too.

Another thing that was interesting and I hope I can remember exactly now but in the study they said that they didn't take into account any of male victims, I believe it was for some government program designed exclusively for women and children. If I got that right, that is outrageous.

And again, the shame I would imagine is double for men when it is a woman abuser.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

siggie-reported-by-alarmists · ‎19-09-2014

Here is some info from the Australian Bureau of Statistics... 2005

Just under half a million Australian women reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or sexual assault in the

past 12 months.

More than a million women had experienced physical or sexual assault by their male current or ex-partner since the age of 15 (some

women may be counted twice if they experienced both physical and sexual assault). 37.8% of women who experienced physical

assault in the 12 months before the survey said the perpetrator was a current or previous male partner and 34.4% said the perpetrator

was a male family member or friend.

Most incidences of physical assault against women in the 12 months prior to 2005 were committed in a home (64.1%).33.3% of

women had experienced physical violence since the age of 15.19.1% of women had experienced sexual violence since the age of

15.12.4% of women had been sexually abused before the age of 15, compared with 4.5% of men, between 1996 and 2005.

There was an increase in the reporting of sexual assault to police from 14.9% to 18.9% between 1996 and 2005 and there was an

increase in the reporting of physical violence to police from 18.5% to 36%.64% of women who experienced physical assault and 81.1%

of women who experienced sexual assault still did not report it to police. The proportion of women aged between 18 and 34 who

reported experiencing physical violence has decreased but the proportion of women who reported experiencing physical violence after

45 increased over the same period. The percentage of women who reported that their children had witnessed partner-related violence

either from a current or ex-partner was lower than in 1996.The majority of violence against men is committed by other men. Of men

who reported that they had experienced physical violence in the 12 months before the survey, 73.7% said that the perpetrator was a

male.

____________________________
"High and low pressure systems cause the day-to-day changes in our weather." ...Metoffice.......

siggie-reported-by-alarmists..............

love*today · ‎19-09-2014

DV against men is rising and the numbers shocked me when I looked into them earlier this year.
Men are lucky that women have done the groundwork of removing that scorn, derision and disbelief when reporting and speaking out!
Services already work for Both genders, work needs to be done on getting more men to speak up but remember after all the groundwork with women there are still those that refuse to leave and continue to live with that abuse.
You also have to remember that male DV is not just solely from "women" partners.

sineaterdoodah · ‎19-09-2014

and didn't report it to the police,maybe? like any sensible person of either sex would?

taste my religion! nibble a witch! 😄

siggie-reported-by-alarmists · ‎19-09-2014

The main source of information regarding the prevalence of domestic violence is victimisation surveys. According to the ABS (2006)

Personal Safety Survey, approximately one in three Australian women have experienced physical violence during their lifetime, nearly

one in five women have experienced some form of sexual violence and nearly one in five have experienced violence by a current or

previous partner. Findings from the Personal Safety Survey also demonstrate that females are more likely than males to experience an

act of physical or sexual violence (actual, attempted or threatened) at the hands of a current or former partner:

____________________________
"High and low pressure systems cause the day-to-day changes in our weather." ...Metoffice.......

siggie-reported-by-alarmists..............

4c4sale · ‎19-09-2014

@love*today wrote:
DV against men is rising and the numbers shocked me when I looked into them earlier this year.
Men are lucky that women have done the groundwork of removing that scorn, derision and disbelief when reporting and speaking out!
Services already work for Both genders, work needs to be done on getting more men to speak up but remember after all the groundwork with women there are still those that refuse to leave and continue to live with that abuse.
You also have to remember that male DV is not just solely from "women" partners.

Great points!

I'd only add that the percentage of men abused by non-female partners is very low. (2% or less, I think.)

ruloinfovoter · ‎19-09-2014

I know I've always been kind of shocked when I've heard of verbal threats of violence coming from women but now I see they very well mean it, or very well could mean it.

I was aware that women abuse their children a lot and in many ways.

Yup, light needs to be shed on this subject, indeed.

"If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight." ~ Margaret Thatcher

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” ― Thomas Jefferson

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

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