Two men are drinking in a bar. One turns to the other and says, "I bet you $100 that I can bite my eye." The second fellow thinks to himself, I guess he's had about enough, so he replies, "OK, you're on." The first man takes out his glass eye and bites it. So the second man has to pay. Awhile later the first man says, "I bet you $100 I can bite my other eye." The second man thinks, well, he can't have TWO glass eyes; he obviously can see. So he says, "All right, you're on." The second man promptly takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
Murphy is a trainee nurse in his local GPs surgery. Last week the doctor said, "Murphy I'm going for a round of golf so I'm leaving you in charge, it's always quiet on Wednesdays." On his return the doctor asked Murphy how he'd got on. MURPHY. "I had three lady patients. The first complained of headaches so I gave her Paracetamol." DOCTOR, "Good." MURPHY. "The second complained of stomach ach so I gave her Gaviscon." DOCTOR. "You learn fast." MURPHY. "The third woman burst through the door, ripped her clothes off and jumped naked onto the couch screaming, 'Help me help me, I've not seen a man in over two years." DOCTOR. "What did you do?" MURPHY. "I gave her some eye drops."
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
> Are you married? If not are you looking for an eas enty into Oz? Is so, my hand is up! But you would have to talk a lot.
Yes im married and im 70years old
Tommy Loves Everyone... Im a 75 year old nutcase..
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