I received a "sent" notice from eBay. Has it actually been posted by then?

I've recently purchased 12 items from a seller, all listed as free postage (economy). When I sent a letter asking for the items to be combined, I also asked about express delivery. This was all before payment. They asked for my paypal details for shipping, but I asked them to put it through eBay. (I don't hand out my details to anyone)
They let me know the items had been combined but postage was still zero when I went to pay.
After I payed for the items, I got a message from eBay saying my postage was free as I ordered over 10 items, then another notice saying it had been sent via economy.
The next day I get a notice from the seller about an invoice (through PayPal, not eBay) for the express postage I had asked to be included. I wrote to them confused as the items had apparently been sent via economy already, so how could they come via express?
They replied saying as I didn't pay the invoice (which I still haven't seen), they will now ship via economy today. I never got the actual invoice to pay and am even more confused now as it seems they haven't sent it at all.
Is it normal to get charged extra postage externally (ie not during check out?) is this even legal? Should I report them for asking for external payment? I did want express and was willing to pay for it, but it seems the parcel was sent before I had the choice, but apparently is it still sitting in their hands?
Has it been sent? Where is this invoice? Do I report them? Will I get my beads in time for Christmas?

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