Help on Creepy Buyer! :(

[psok6]

Hi all, this is the first time I've ever posted on here, but I've have had my suspicions over a particular buyer from the very start, and it seems to be playing out just as I thought it would be!!!

I am extremely stressed about it and would value other opinions on this.

A buyer kept making low offers an an item that was already low, it was a small value item so I posted it as a large letter. Prior to making an offer, the buyer asked if I had "anymore photos wearing them" which I responded no.

The buyer purchased the item regardless, and the very next morning sent a Contact Details request, requesting for my personal details.

I contacted the buyer as to why this was, and they said they "normally" do this for every purcahse in case "anything goes wrong". So basically they are planning for something to go wrong prior to me sending the item, or just wanted my contact details.

I told them that this was not necessary, and I have up to 2 business days for handling time. They messaged me again, still about my contact details and saying that the request never came through... I told them that wasn't an issue, as we can resolve issues over ebay messaging, and I always respond as soon as I see the message (so time frame would be the exact same as if it were a text message)!

I told them that I had sent the item as a large letter, as otherwise there would be no point in me sending the item if postage was already $8 + fees etc.They said ok and I thought that was the end of it, they would receive the item, and I wouldn't have to deal with it again.

Well 2 days later... they are messaging me again saying they haven't received their item, that it must have been rejected, and they have now requested my contact details again!!! I told them that it sometimes takes up to 10 days for letters to be received, and if it was rejected then they it would just come back to me.

So my suspicions are that it's a creepy guy (it's a guy's name that the account is under) trying to get my contact details, or going to file an item not received claim, even if they've received it. HOPEFULLY this is not the case and they are just very impatient but it would be very coincidental if they claim they didn't receive it after all these issues.

What can I do???

I guess worse case scenario I can block calls/texts, block the buyer in future and refund the item (they'll probably leave me bad feedback, ruining my score of 100%). But I'm worried they'll use my contact details to stalk me...

It's very sad that eBay gives you warning/suspension when buyers provide contact details to purchase large/pickup items but then they happily give away your contact details to any buyer who requests it.

[performance_parts_clearance_centre]

A buyer requesting contact details isn't necessarily creepy; I get that request quite often myself.

Simply don't give them any contact details. Respond that you won't enter into any sort of off-eBay contact and that all contact must be made via eBay due to their new contact policy for sellers. 

If you're genuinely worried that it's a potential stalker, contact eBay Customer Service and explain the situation to them.

[imastawka]

I can only suggest to ignore the messages.   Do not give him any contact numbers.

And get yourself a clothing mannequin and stop taking selfies.

[springyzone · Accepted solution]

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@psok6 wrote:

Hi all, this is the first time I've ever posted on here, but I've have had my suspicions over a particular buyer from the very start, and it seems to be playing out just as I thought it would be!!!

I am extremely stressed about it and would value other opinions on this.

A buyer kept making low offers an an item that was already low, it was a small value item so I posted it as a large letter. Prior to making an offer, the buyer asked if I had "anymore photos wearing them" which I responded no.

The buyer purchased the item regardless, and the very next morning sent a Contact Details request, requesting for my personal details.

I contacted the buyer as to why this was, and they said they "normally" do this for every purcahse in case "anything goes wrong". So basically they are planning for something to go wrong prior to me sending the item, or just wanted my contact details.

I told them that this was not necessary, and I have up to 2 business days for handling time. They messaged me again, still about my contact details and saying that the request never came through... I told them that wasn't an issue, as we can resolve issues over ebay messaging, and I always respond as soon as I see the message (so time frame would be the exact same as if it were a text message)!

I told them that I had sent the item as a large letter, as otherwise there would be no point in me sending the item if postage was already $8 + fees etc.They said ok and I thought that was the end of it, they would receive the item, and I wouldn't have to deal with it again.

Well 2 days later... they are messaging me again saying they haven't received their item, that it must have been rejected, and they have now requested my contact details again!!! I told them that it sometimes takes up to 10 days for letters to be received, and if it was rejected then they it would just come back to me.

So my suspicions are that it's a creepy guy (it's a guy's name that the account is under) trying to get my contact details, or going to file an item not received claim, even if they've received it. HOPEFULLY this is not the case and they are just very impatient but it would be very coincidental if they claim they didn't receive it after all these issues.

What can I do???

I guess worse case scenario I can block calls/texts, block the buyer in future and refund the item (they'll probably leave me bad feedback, ruining my score of 100%). But I'm worried they'll use my contact details to stalk me...

It's very sad that eBay gives you warning/suspension when buyers provide contact details to purchase large/pickup items but then they happily give away your contact details to any buyer who requests it.

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Yes, I think you have trouble. I had a look at your sold items & I am guessing the item could have been the black stockings.

Judging by the rest of your items, you are young, female & shapely and using yourself as a model.

The easiest way to avoid these sorts of pests would be to put the clothes on a mannequin rather than a real person.

But regardless, in future bump up the price of smaller items so you can afford to send with tracking. I wouldn't be sending any personal contact details through. I thought buyers/sellers can access those but if he keeps asking you for them, then maybe he doesn't know that. he is extremely likely to open an item not received case as he won't need the items, it might just have been a way to get in touch with you.

If you wish to keep modelling the items yourself, why not give yourself a strong male user name. That might make the pests think twice at least.

[psok6]

Thank you so much for your responses!

eBay gives contact details immediately if the buyer requests them though, so I didn't have a say.

Unless there's a setting to turn that off?

I think I will start using a mannequin, I used to however my eBay sales were quite low when I did that, but I guess safety first!

FYI this isn't my account, I've asked to borrow a friend's account to help post this so that no more creepy buyers can find my listings 😉 lol

[collect247]

Well then you need to tell your friend to stop the selfies lol

[lyndal1838]

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@psok6 wrote:

FYI this isn't my account, I've asked to borrow a friend's account to help post this so that no more creepy buyers can find my listings 😉 lol

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So you are happy for your friend's account to be found by any creepy members of the public who may be reading these boards?

With friends like you who needs ememies?

BTW when a buyer requests your details from ebay all they get is your name and phone number.....not an address.

The only way they will get your address is if you are in the phone book.

[digital*ghost]

The images aren't the problem, the creepy person's behaviour definitely is.

I am going to say this, though.

On eBay, as a seller, I am acutely aware of the small amount of information required to gain access to vast amounts of information about someone.

I had a buyer open a chargeback on me a couple of months ago. Their eBay user name is obviously not a real name, and even the name provided on the PayPal receipt wasn't their real name. I know that because with the extremely limited information I did have, I was able to find out:

Their full and legal name, where they live, where they work, what they look like, who their friends are, and what they do in their spare time.

Whether you have images like you do now or not, protect yourself and your private information, as much as you can.

[phorum_junkie*]

The world is full of creepy guys who get turned on by all sorts of things. You are obviously young and it worries you but I would see it as a business oportunity and would happily send hi\m pics and tights at a price and hope he never disovered he was buying from a rather overweight, wrinkled granny pushing 70.

You should have ignored him from the start. Put hi\m on your blocked list and send him one email telling him not to contact you again by any method or you will report him to ebay, his internet and phone providers and the police.

[justkidzbiz]

The problem is that when you send an invoice, eBay automatically puts the seller's  name and address in the bottom left of the invoice page saying

If you send your payment (e.g. cheque) by post, add a copy of this e-mail and send everything to the following address. Please note that eBay does not permit sellers to accept cash payments sent by post.

Jane Doe

123 Smith St, Whereever 3456

I have raised concerns about this with eBay months ago, the fact that invoices are including seller's address which could be a safety issue, obviously they don't give a hoot as nothing has changed, not all sellers want their address printed on an invoice and you cannot delete it from the invoice.