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Accepted Solutions
@thecatspjs wrote:Yup, I agree with your sentiments.
Nonetheless, when i stuff up I do not lament how rude people even if they are most hideous and horrible cause I stuffed up and they are bigtime PO - I move into damage control - as I am fairly sure you do too.
Indeed I do, and for all I said above, more often than not the buyer will get something more or for free for my errors.
I've never been completely out of stock of anything yet, but I have come up short of a quantity ordered, and in those cases I refund a portion, send what I do have, along with a sample of similar items, then send the remaining quantity when new stock has arrived.
If I were to give the OP any advice to consider for the future, it would be to make your decisions and communications require as little input from the buyer as possible (i.e. provide options, then state the action you will take if you can't confirm a preference by X date). That's not to suggest the options you offer shouldn't be flexible or negotiable, just that you take a situation when you had less control and turn it into one where you still have some.
eg in the above scenarios, I messaged the buyer, informed them about the situation, explained what I have done to compensate and that they will shortly receive a refund, allow for any substitutes to be returned at my expense if it turns out they're not wanted for any reason - easy enough for me, my items all go as large letters - provide an ETA for the remaining quantity, then let them know I'm happy to discuss an alternative option if they would prefer.
This sort of follow up is what I got once from a Chinese seller, and I was so darn impressed that I adopted it myself, and it's kind of expensive, so my stock control is getting better. 
Trying to figure out why other people do things you wouldn't is a recipe for spending energy on frustrating yourself, to no good end... (so says I, anyway ).
For some, no matter how well you handle a situation, their assessment is based on one thing, and one thing alone - the fact that they didn't get the item they wanted. I was reading a thread elsewhere yesterday, started by a buyer asking for advice on the kind of FB to leave a seller who had to cancel their order. They stated quite openly they wanted to leave the lowest rating possible, because even though they were a seller and understood that their seller did the best they could in the circumstances, they were so upset that they didn't get the item they just wanted to hurt the seller, so for them it wasn't about the money, but the item. For sellers, it's easy to consider a transaction on a monetary level, because that's what we get out of it, but for the buyer that's what they're handing over and we don't know what else they might be investing in a purchase (in a non-monetary way, that is).
I'm not saying everyone is like that, or that I would consider all non-monetary investments in a purchase reasonable... : X
Some people just don't understand or view FB the same way, which is why you see some that are irrelevant to what's truly important, eg product review that isn't about the quality of the item or service, just whether or not the buyer liked it.
Sorry about the neg. 😞
