Calling Icy

bright.ton42 — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 03:06:29 GMT

Do you feel like a cat story over there??

It needs livening up.

Please????

Re: Calling Icy

the_great_she_elephant — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 04:25:40 GMT

I second that. We're all being very slack.X-(

Re: Calling Icy

icyfroth — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 06:02:17 GMT

Hi Bright and She-el. :-x

I haven't come across a cat story for ages. Plus I've been really really busy, so I haven't been on the lookout either, but things should settle a bit in the next week or so, I'll see what I and come up with.

Be back later

Re: Calling Icy

kopenhagen5 — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 08:10:20 GMT

:-)While we are waiting for icy -

Sharing...... How to give the cat a pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill  into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.   Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call friend for help.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get friend to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and  set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to friend's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little b*stard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get friend to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers  and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call  furniture shop on way home to order new table.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.

Re: Calling Icy

twyngwyn — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 08:45:11 GMT

:^O ...wonderful!!

Re: Calling Icy

2106greencat — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 09:17:26 GMT

Kopes

😮

I'm shocked

Re: Calling Icy

bright.ton42 — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 09:41:52 GMT

That is sooooo funny kopenhagen

And so true. I've got the scars to prove it, lol.

Re: Calling Icy

kopenhagen5 — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 09:46:08 GMT

Only in jest my dear cat, only in jest. 😉

Yes brighton, I think many can relate to that.

Re: Calling Icy

icyfroth — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 20:03:36 GMT

Just to keep the faith, here's the motto for March from my cat calender:

"Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods... and the governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed the Great Cat.

-Royal Tombs, Thebes.

😄

gotta go be back later.

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