topic Grandparents? Like them? in Community Spirit

Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 05:42:57 GMT

I love my grandparents and miss them. I think about them every day and cherish how much they enriched my childhood and young life.

However, both my parents detested their grandparents. They've never given much reason, other than my mum had to give her bed up for her grandmother every time she came to stay.

I'm wondering if it's a generation thing; several of my parents friends (all in their eighties) also disliked their grandparents.

Have grandparents become more fun over the generations?

How do you feel about your grandparents and do you get along with your own grandchildren?

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 05:47:58 GMT

paints

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

catsnknots — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 05:49:09 GMT

I hate my father... my kids probably would like him if they met him but I decided to not have him in my life. He is a nasty bully that takes pleasure in putting others down. All my siblings agree. He has this amazing side that everyone else sees... they think he is so charismatic and giving....

Once I met someone that knew my dad and they said he was so wonderful.... his wife and my dads partner were friends... one day he overheard how he treats his "loved ones" and was gobsmacked.... he said to me that he could never believe how a man that was so nice to others could be so cruel to his family.

Did anyone read the article about "deserted Mothers Club" in The Weekend Australian magazine a few months back and the follow up article in this last edition? I think that about sums it all up.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 05:55:29 GMT

Sorry to hear that catmad. I think your situation is unfortunately, not an isolated one.

I can see through people quite easily and I've often said that you really don't know a person until you live with them. Often the most popular people socially are monsters at home. Believe me, I know.

Same goes for the popular kids at school who I knew were cruel and nasty when people's backs were turned.

I'm also not against abused children restricting abusive parents' access to their grandchildren. Even if they treat their grandkids with love, they don't deserve the opportunity considering how they treated their grandkid's parent.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

**tay** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 05:56:29 GMT

I adored my grandparents, and my great grandparents, sadly I only have one grandmother left. My mum seemed to love her grandies too, my dad had a kind of love hate relationship with his.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 05:59:01 GMT

Oh tay, you're lucky to have at least one living - I hope your grandmother is healthy and happy enough.

Did you really know your great grandparents? I would have loved to have met mine. What were they like?

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

**tay** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:05:04 GMT

Yeah, my great grandparents were amazing, I loved going to visit them. Sadly, my grandmother is not well at all, between bowel cancer and numerous strokes, I don't know how much longer she'll be with us.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:13:21 GMT

Tay, my best wishes go out to you and your family. It's heartbreaking when a grandparent gets sick.

On a positive note, it's amazing that you have those memories of great-grandparents; to know who they are and what they meant to you. Make sure you never forget them as you're one of the lucky few who can say they knew their great-grandparents.

Did they ever discuss their early life with you? So much must have changed in their lifetime. Did they live to a ripe old age?

Sorry for all the questions, I'm just fascinated. 😄

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

**tay** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:30:13 GMT

They didn't really discuss their early life with me, but then my great grandfather died when I was about 8, my great grandmother developed alzheimer's not long after and was placed in a home. I wasn't allowed to see her after that, they didn't want me to see her that way. I wasn't allowed to attend my great grandfathers funeral because I was so young, and by the time my great grandmother passed away my parents had divorced and he and his side of the family never bothered to tell me she had died and about her funeral until afterwards. I don't have much to do with my father, and I've not seen that side of the family since the divorce..

It's true what they say, you can pick your friends....

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:36:07 GMT

@**tay** wrote:
They didn't really discuss their early life with me, but then my great grandfather died when I was about 8, my great grandmother developed alzheimer's not long after and was placed in a home. I wasn't allowed to see her after that, they didn't want me to see her that way. I wasn't allowed to attend my great grandfathers funeral because I was so young, and by the time my great grandmother passed away my parents had divorced and he and his side of the family never bothered to tell me she had died and about her funeral until afterwards. I don't have much to do with my father, and I've not seen that side of the family since the divorce..

It's true what they say, you can pick your friends....

Yep, that's exactly right. I wasn't invited to my sister's wedding and only found out she was married two years after the fact (we still don't speak) However she doesn't stop her kids, my niece and nephews from having a relationship with me. They're nothing like their parents and I am like a second mum to them.

I often look at pictures of my great grandparents and wish I could reach out and talk to them, it's good you had that opportunity even for a short time.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

azureline** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:40:52 GMT

I loved my grandparents, sadly they were older and passed away when my children were small. My parents also passed away when my children were teenagers.

I adore my grandchildren and our home is their home as often as possible. My FIL has dementia and lives nearby now, so my children and grandchildren visit him but he is not the same grandad they remember. 😞

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

pension.payment.plan — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:51:11 GMT

Dementia/Alzheimers is the worst. Very painful for the family and god knows what it's like for the one suffering. I have had personal experience with this but it's so painful I can't even talk about it.

Do your kids remember their great grandchildren or were they too small? I hope you managed to get some photos taken with them together, anyway.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

**tay** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:53:33 GMT

It's funny you know, when I got married my uncle wasn't speaking to his mum (my grandma). I wanted her at my wedding, and didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, so I made the choice of not inviting him. His very immature eldest daughter decided to leave me off her wedding guest list purely for that reason. The funniest thing was, I wasn't interested in going to her wedding anyway, so she actually did me a favour.

I just realised (and this is going to sound very rude) I did know my great grandmother on my mothers side, we used to go visit her in the nursing home, my mother would make me wear my sunday best when we did. She died so long ago though, that I don't remember her at all, and can't remember the visits, my mother just has photos from them..

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

azureline** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 06:53:32 GMT

We have photos.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

punch*drunk — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 09:48:32 GMT

My grandparents on my mums side were the best people I ever knew. They were like second parents to me, we spent every weekend for as long as I can remember, at their house while my parents helped them in their business.

They moved away when I was 20, my grandmother passed in 1993 and grandpa returned to Melbourne and lived with my dad until he passed away just 2 weeks ago. He was loved and respected by everyone who knew him and a real inspiration to me. My kids were lucky enough to grow up with him in their lives too.

I dont think either of my parents had much affection for their grandparents, I think growing up in hard times had made them hard people.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

crystal**flake — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 11:37:19 GMT

Grand parents are very important but they do have to know the rules.......

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

lind9650 — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 11:59:45 GMT

What rules, Crystal?

Are there rules for loving ones grandchildren and great-grandchildren?

That is news to me.

Erica

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

azureline** — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 20:34:11 GMT

@crystal**flake wrote:
Grand parents are very important but they do have to know the rules.......

I know the rules................ I am allowed to do whatever I like 🙂 no complaints so far.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

lionrose.7 — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 21:03:38 GMT

I have the nicest Grand Children, love them heaps.

I am am very close to all my grand children

I adored my Grand Father, not so much my Step Grand mother

Grand Dad lived till he was 93, he used to tell us stories about his life, I loved it.

Re: Grandparents? Like them?

sandypas — Sun, 02 Mar 2014 21:04:22 GMT

I have been given no rules and have my grandchildren regularly with no complaints. Saying that, I always respect the parents rules - for eg., I know they don't like too much sugar or soft drink so I don't give them too much. I know the eldest is not allowed on the internet so I make sure he doesn't go there. Follow the parents rules and there should be no problems.