topic Re: Alzheimers thread in Community Spirit

Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:35:55 GMT

Couldnt find the old one so I thought I'd start another.

How is everyone going, havent seen Gill around for a while, I wonder how she's getting on.

My dad is quickly getting worse to the point where I will probably need to move him into high care now. We are also having low blood pressure and high blood sugar problems. Waiting on some tests to see what thats all about.

He is now at the point where by the time he takes his seatbelt off, he starts to put it back on again. If I turn a corner in the corridor before him, he forgets where I've gone and what he was doing. He is also starting to forget how to eat and becoming a little bit difficult with the staff.

😞

Re: Alzheimers thread

fourandsixpants — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:54:08 GMT

Dear Punch my sincerely goes out to you.

I went through same/similar with my Dear Mum. She was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Same result ref. decline and behaviours etc as Alzheimers except Vascular Dementia causes a decline at a much more rapid rate...... awful, awful and more to see a loved one go down like this.

Best advice I can give to you is: get the support offered and available as soon as possible, earlier the better for ALL concerned.Especially regards going into full/high care.

You don't get medals for battling on your own/shared care with siblings......and caring for your Dad for as long as possible, without outside support is not a measure of how much you love him

Get some counselling for yourself to cope with guilt and grief -the earlier the better imo.

Be assured that the worse your Dear Dad gets the more he will be unaware and less anxious etc.

When visiting with him relish the joyful moments-find and share the humour

(((((BIG HUGS))))) x

Re: Alzheimers thread

katydidthat — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:54:39 GMT

It's a horrible disease.

I lost my Dad to it about 4 years ago. You keep on thinking it can't get any worse ... and it does.

On the brighter side ... there are new treatments to look into.

Re: Alzheimers thread

siggie-reported-by-alarmists — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:54:53 GMT

I'm really sorry to hear that punch...... it must be very difficult for you..... for the both of you.

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:05:02 GMT

Thanks paintsew, sorry about your mum, dad's dementia is vascular too hence the rapid deterioration.

Its only just over 12 months ago that he stopped being able to look after himself and needed to go into care, the decline since then has been even quicker. Its very sad, but at least he's been happy where he is. He often tells me how well they look after him and how nice they all are to him because they wash and dress him. I find that really sad, but he seems pretty happy with it. I guess its a blessing that they dont remember a time where they were independent and would have been horrified at the thought of someone showering and toileting them

He hasnt forgotten me yet and is always pleased to see me which is nice, dont know how much longer I'll have that for though.

Re: Alzheimers thread

azureline** — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:16:40 GMT

Hi Punch, everyone is very different, have been wondering how you and Gill were doing.

My FIL had his 87th birthday this month and it was not really the celebration we had planned but it was a nice party. He knew it was his birthday.

He seems to have picked up a bit lately and is more interactive than he was over the last 6 months, due in part to a change of meds.

I am very much against "drugging" them as I hate to see them just sitting, however, in Dad's case, it seems to have the reverse effect, he is not aggressive, (very agreeable usually.) but was getting annoyed about being told what to do etc. and not being agreeable about shaving or sitting down to dinner!

We have reached the point where I don't feel comfortable taking him out alone, nor can he now go on bus trips unless I go as well. He loves getting out so I make myself available for that. If I bring him home, he wants to go back almost before we sit down.

Today he introduced me as his daughter in law to a lady I have known for 35 years, (she has Altzheimers) she said "no, that's not P's wife, I know her well and that is not her" Dad leaned over and whispered that he thinks she has " made an error, but not to worry, she is a bit unwell"

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:29:15 GMT

Dad just had a birthday too, he turned 70. He kind of knew it was his birthday, but not really. We took him out for lunch and he was very happy to see everyone, even if he didnt remember who they all were.

I have been making a point of taking dad out every time I go there, but it has become pretty difficult. I had been making all his appointments, podiatrists etc away from the home because I think they are better and again, it gets him out for a while. I think that will all change now.

We've been having a bit of a problem at the home re lack of communication/consultation with me and I thought I had it all sorted but today they told me a few things that had been going on that I should have been advised about well before now. I'm not overly impressed with them right now to be honest. They were meant to order blood tests today because of a funny turn he had yesterday and it still hasnt been done. My sister is there now trying to sort it all out, she's inclined to a drama queen though and you never really know if she's telling the truth or exaggerating the situation.

Re: Alzheimers thread

azureline** — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:37:11 GMT

That makes things difficult. 😞

Dad has been here now for a year! best thing we did for him was move him when we did. It isn't perfect but 90% of the time it is and that's all we can ask for.

It could be worth looking around and visiting some other places. I spend a lot of time there, so I am aware of what is happening and staff know to call me if there is a problem but sometimes things don't run smoothly. Mealtimes are Dad's problem as he gets up and starts clearing away the dishes, while other residents are still eating............. they get a bit irate, lol. I try to be there for at least 1 meal a day but we are only 800m away.

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:56:08 GMT

I have considered moving him when the time came for high care, but he's familiar with the staff there and I'd be concerned a move any further away than just down the hallway would be too distressing for him. They use the same nusrses throughout the facility and at least it keeps it partially normal for him.

I wish I lived so close, he's 40 minutes from me.

When I discuss the move to high care with them I will also be discussing the lack of communication. I'm not so sure its a complete lack of communication on their behalf, more that they have been contacting the wrong family member.

Re: Alzheimers thread

azureline** — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 10:00:37 GMT

Yes, best to keep moves to a minimum.

I have had similar issues, although I am not his daughter, it is well known that I am his "carer", and they do usually get it right.

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 08:45:22 GMT

So i checked out the high care wing today, its so much like a hospital 😞

We are having issues with his medication and I've told them i want all that sorted out before I consider moving him. We've had some tests done which I get the results of next week and he'll be seeing a geriatrician at the end of the month. I think they've got him on too many anti depressants, I believe at the request of another family member, I'm gonna get them to cut back on them and see if it helps.

He was pretty happy today 🙂

Re: Alzheimers thread

nicnacs_4u — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 10:01:18 GMT

@punch*drunk wrote:
Dad just had a birthday too, he turned 70. He kind of knew it was his birthday, but not really. We took him out for lunch and he was very happy to see everyone, even if he didnt remember who they all were.

I have been making a point of taking dad out every time I go there, but it has become pretty difficult. I had been making all his appointments, podiatrists etc away from the home because I think they are better and again, it gets him out for a while. I think that will all change now.

We've been having a bit of a problem at the home re lack of communication/consultation with me and I thought I had it all sorted but today they told me a few things that had been going on that I should have been advised about well before now. I'm not overly impressed with them right now to be honest. They were meant to order blood tests today because of a funny turn he had yesterday and it still hasnt been done. My sister is there now trying to sort it all out, she's inclined to a drama queen though and you never really know if she's telling the truth or exaggerating the situation.

A very stressful time for you and your family Punchy...thinking of you

Re: Alzheimers thread

azureline** — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 11:53:13 GMT

Dad's last place was very hospital like and was a secure wing, only access to outside was a concreted area. He managed to climb a fence and also assist an elderly lady to get over but she got stuck.

Another day he managed to scale the fence via a tree and got stuck.

Where he is now, it is less hospital like and only the perimeter is secure, he can go outside to the garden and have free roaming of all 3 wings if he chooses. Now he rarely leaves his wing unless someone takes him walking. Lock the door though and he gets agitated and insists on going through it.

Hope you get the meds sorted out for your dad's sake Punch

Re: Alzheimers thread

lealta — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 14:36:08 GMT

My heart goes out to everyone who is dealing with this issue. Although no one in my immediate family has ever had dementia or Alsheimers, I have seen the devastation it can cause. My brother's mother-in-law had Alzheimers. When she first started showing signs of it, the doctors put her on Aricept and it helped for quite awhile. She was able to live on her own for a couple of years after diagnosis.

But then she would do things like turn the water on in the front yard and turn on the oven and completely forget them. So they hired a woman to come stay with her during the day and then put her to bed at night. This worked fine for a couple of months. But then they had to go to 24 hour a day care. They wanted to keep her in her own home as long as she had some memory of people and where she was. But eventually she had to be moved to a full care facility when she knew no one. It was sad to watch the decline and the sadness on my sister-in-law's face, when her mother no longer knew who she was. It's a pathetic disease. I wish they could find a cure for it.

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 23:27:33 GMT

I was just reading that Malcolm Young from ACDC has dementia, he's only 61. Its scary that there seems to be more and more younger people getting it.

Re: Alzheimers thread

azureline** — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 23:29:14 GMT

I read that this morning, I know there are 2 people under 50 with it in dad's home.

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 23:38:58 GMT

I think dad may the youngest in his, he went in at 68. There is one man thats younger but i'm not sure he has dementia, might be a stroke or something.

I have a friend in aged care and she has a few that are under 50 too. my aunty was in her 40's when hers developed, she was 60 when she died.

Re: Alzheimers thread

2106greencat — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 23:41:56 GMT

I don't know anyone who suffers from alzheimers and think myself very lucky.

I feel terribly for the family who try so hard to relate to the person and so often are not even remembered or recongnised.

It is one of those afflictions that I feel must be worse on the loved ones than on the afflicted who seem happy in their own world.

Please forgive any offense to anyone if my assumptions are not correct, I mean no disrespect, simply have not experienced it personally.

Re: Alzheimers thread

punch*drunk — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 23:48:53 GMT

Greencat you are 100% right. my dad is perfectly happy (most of the time anyway), he loves that the nurses look after him and shave and shower him. When he says that, I'm pleased he's happy, but I'm sad for the man that would have once been horrified to be in this position.

I presume they have occasional moments of knowing or remember what they were once like, but maybe not. Dad has never been upset or worried about his condition, he just doesnt seem to remember any other life than what he has now. When we told him he has Alzheimers he said "I wouldnt do that, what do I forget?"

I read an article once written by the daughter of a man wth Alzheimers, it was very touching and described perfectly how it affects the family. I couldnt get through the whole thing because it was a bit too close to home.

Re: Alzheimers thread

lloydslights — Fri, 26 Sep 2014 00:26:34 GMT

My natural maternal grandmother had Alzheimers. It was agreed to put her in a home when her carers/daughters were "worn out". She was 92 when she died after about 20 years of not knowing us.

It was so sad to see such a regal, vital and proud person deteriorate to such an extent.

I had a customer who came by about 4 times a week to visit his wife who had been put in care. Tommy had married, loved, and provided for Mary for over 55 years. They'd had a good life together.

He became so upset when one day she said to him, "go away old man. You are not my husband. He is good looking."

Poor Tommy. He lessened his visits to her following the realization that she wasn't "there" any longer to share memories and love.

DEB