topic Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own? in Community Spirit

Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

icyfroth — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:02:39 GMT

Radio shock jock Derryn Hinch and One Nation leader Pauline Hanson have engaged in a heated war-of-words on morning television about raising children.

The fiery exchange happened on Sunrise today during a discussion about the nature of quality parenting, and began when Hanson declared Hinch would not know what it was like to raise children because he has one stepchild and no children of his own.

"Hang on, a stepchild? Hang on, Pauline Hanson, a stepchild is still a child," Hinch said.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/hanson-and-hinch-in-fiery-exchange-on-morning-tv/ar-AAaeTKX?ocid=AARDHP

Never had stepkids, but have had step-grandkids. Loved em too, but was always a bit more careful with the steps than the own.

They all survived to adulthood lol

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

azureline** — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:09:06 GMT

I think it probably depends on the relationship and family dynamics.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

cherry*135 — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:12:11 GMT

Pauline wouldn't win Mother of the Year.

1996

Hanson's eldest son, from her first marriage, with whom she hasn't spoken in nearly six years, lives literally in fear of his life. He works in a dangerous industry alongside Aborigines and people from mixed ethnic backgrounds. He waits for someone to learn who his mother is.

Her second son refuses to speak to his mother.

There's also her eldest son's grandmother, Hanson's former mother-in-law, who almost single-handedly raised this son. She is an elderly woman who survived Dachau concentration camp and arrived in Australia with her three-year-old child (Hanson's first husband) after the war. She is petrified that Hanson wants to have her deported

Republished Dec 2014

http://www.smh.com.au/good-weekend/gw-classics/pauline-hansons-bitter-harvest-20140916-109dbf.html

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

lionrose.7 — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:13:06 GMT

I bought up two stepchildren from the age of 10 and 8, they are my children.

I love them as my own.

Their mother was never there for them I was.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

purple_haize — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:25:26 GMT

I have 3 step children, 2 girls aged 28 & 26yrs and a step son aged 21yrs.

I love them all like my own kids. My stepson lives with hubby and me, my 2 step daughters had their first babies last yr, 2 months apart, so I am also step grandma to two beautiful little boys.

I also have 2 biological grandchildren and my daughter gets on really well with her step siblings.........

It takes work to make it all work out, work on my part and on the kids, I have always involved my s/kids in what we do. Hubby and I will have been married 10 yrs this thursday, so when I came into their lives, they were alot younger and alot harder to deal with.

If given time it all works out for the best, well it has for me.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

poddster — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:30:18 GMT

people should not take on the responsibility of stepchildren unless they are treated equal and loved equally with their own if they have any

.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

icyfroth — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:35:14 GMT

sometimes one has responsibily thrust upon one, Podds lol.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

flashie* — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:37:07 GMT

When I married for the second time I already had three children.........and then we had a son together.

None of our children have ever referred to my husband as their step father...........and neither has he ever referred to them as his step children...................I personally really dislike that term.

I know he loves them all equally........and with all his heart...........and they him.

So in answer to your question Icy........................yes it can be..............with the right people.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

the_great_she_elephant — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:46:06 GMT

Our youngest child was a little boy whom we fostered, then adopted. He had a congenital heart defect and died shortly before what should have been his third birthday. The most terrible thing said to me afterwards was the words of a well meaning, would-be comforter. "Still, it's not quite like losing one of your own, is it?'

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

cherry*135 — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:54:50 GMT

I have had Aunty's and a cousin's wife who don't count their step grandchildren as their own. Cousin's wife will show photo's of her granchildren excluding the one step child ( 1 child mother had, 1 child father had ( the step grand- child that isn't counted) before getting together and 3 children to both parents, family of 5 kids that live together).

Also some Aunty's that do consider them as their own, the step grandchild(ren) have been part of the family from day one, and are entered into our family tree etc.

I can't really understand the 'those two aren't my grandchildren thing', even though my rellies were/are all nice, kind people. The step grandkids are OK kids as well, not horror heads.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

joz*garage — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 10:58:56 GMT

@icyfroth wrote:

Radio shock jock Derryn Hinch and One Nation leader Pauline Hanson have engaged in a heated war-of-words on morning television about raising children.

The fiery exchange happened on Sunrise today during a discussion about the nature of quality parenting, and began when Hanson declared Hinch would not know what it was like to raise children because he has one stepchild and no children of his own.

"Hang on, a stepchild? Hang on, Pauline Hanson, a stepchild is still a child," Hinch said.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/hanson-and-hinch-in-fiery-exchange-on-morning-tv/ar-AAaeTKX?ocid=AARDHP

Never had stepkids, but have had step-grandkids. Loved em too, but was always a bit more careful with the steps than the own.

They all survived to adulthood lol

silly red head but shes renowned for making controversial comments, isn't she?!

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

lyne-flyn — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:07:36 GMT

I have a friend who told me just the other day that someone had said something similar to him.
His younger stepson is in the final stages of terminal brain cancer and is not expected to live more than another couple of weeks.
The well meaning "friend" said him..."Well, it is not as if he is your own flesh and blood".
He has been his father for 33 years...ever since he was 12 mths old...his biological father has had no contact with his sons in all that time and they both consider my friend their father just as he considers them his sons.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

poddster — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:15:27 GMT

That may be so Icy, but if circumstances thrust a situation on you you do not have to accept those responsabilities, there ia ALWAYS a choice, maybe a hard choice but a choice non the less

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:23:35 GMT

How awful for you and your family she-ele.

Over the years, Ive been on the receiving end of some 'well meaning, would-be comforters' words..just curious, did you reply?

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

cherry*135 — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:39:11 GMT

@poddster wrote:
That may be so Icy, but if circumstances thrust a situation on you you do not have to accept those responsabilities, there ia ALWAYS a choice, maybe a hard choice but a choice non the less

How can a person have step children thrust on them? If a person choses to live with another person who has a child(ren), the person without the child has to make their own decision whether they want to take on that responsibility.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

poddster — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:53:19 GMT

Isn't that what i said?

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

i-need-a-martini — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 20:28:17 GMT

From what I have seen over the years, it is most often women who are 'cool' towards stepkids and in a couple of cases reject them altogether.

One friend remarried a guy when his son was about 5. She was just horrible about this kid and had no sympathy for what he had gone through with his parents divorce and losing his dad. When she had him for the odd weekend, his dad would be forced to take him back to the ex if the kid even blinked wrong. From what I could see he was a swet, scared kid but in her mind he was the most badly behaved kid she had ever met. Plus she couldn't get past the fact that dad wanted to spend time with his kid or that he provided money to his ex for the boy.

And what is even sadder is that she tried for years and years to have children of her own and was unsuccessful. What a shame she didn't embrace this little one as her own.

Another friend got married recently. His wife put her daughter and some neices in the bridal party as flower girls but refused to include his little girl. Poor thing was devastated and I couldn't hep but think that this exclusion is simply a sign of what is to come.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

i-need-a-martini — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 20:29:41 GMT

But on saying all of that I know many people who treat their step kids as their own.

And from what I have read over the years, Hinch is very close to his step kids.

Hanson is an idiot.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

lurker172602 — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:42:01 GMT

I think it probably depends on whether you're a custodial parent or not, and probably the age of the child.

Re: Is A Stepchild The Same As Your Own?

polksaladallie — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:50:44 GMT