topic Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened in Community Spirit

White Ribbon campaign weakened

village_person — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 22:40:33 GMT

Letter to the editor:

According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

Kim Hillier, Mareeba, Queensland.

The moral ardour surrounding the anti-violence ‘White Ribbon’ campaign is uppermost in our minds. We abhor violence especially when it is directed towards women. Kim Hillier’s letter highlights how the anti-violence campaign has been weakened because certain cultures and a religions are quite happy to adhere to totems and taboos that have no place in a modern society. A carapace of ill-founded respect has been built around certain cultures and religions which removes them from scrutiny and excuses their vile behaviour. It’s unfathomable why the sisterhood, at one time quite stentorian on issues like FGM, is now mute when faced with ‘difficult’ issues that would question the sisterhood's malfunctioning moral compass.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

karliandjacko — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 00:29:34 GMT

One letter does not weaken the campaign.

One person does not make a sisterhood.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

village_person — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 00:39:28 GMT

@karliandjacko wrote:
One letter does not weaken the campaign.
One person does not make a sisterhood.

And one dissentient opinion in no way detracts from the letter writer's opinion.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

icyfroth — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 01:14:11 GMT

So Kim Hillier is outraged unless it's for religious reasons?

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

lind9650 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 01:25:07 GMT

@karliandjacko wrote:
One letter does not weaken the campaign.
One person does not make a sisterhood.

One persons opinionated rambling can start a new religion with thousands of followers.

It takes only one person to stirr the pot.

Erica

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

cherry*135 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 01:29:26 GMT

It's just one person's opinion. Is that person a religious bigot? What do we know about the person who wrote that? Nothing.

Is this just your opinion -" White Ribbon Campaign weakened"? If not, where did that come from?

What is the source of that comment - what was it posted underneath?

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

cherry*135 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 01:32:53 GMT

@village_person wrote:
@karliandjacko wrote:
One letter does not weaken the campaign.
One person does not make a sisterhood.
And one dissentient opinion in no way detracts from the letter writer's opinion.

Yes, it does. Just as valid as some random person's 'view'.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

karliandjacko — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 01:36:44 GMT

@village_person wrote:
@karliandjacko wrote:
One letter does not weaken the campaign.
One person does not make a sisterhood.
And one dissentient opinion in no way detracts from the letter writer's opinion.

Imo, she has based her letter on the false assertion that every domestic violence support service accepts religion as an excuse for domestic violence.

The comment that follows suggests that one religion discriminates against women.

Both are false claims.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

***super_nova*** — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 01:55:56 GMT

@village_person wrote:

According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

If a man that grows up in our society with what we consider normal Australian values behaves like this, it means that he is most likely paranoid, and pathologically controlling = mentally unstable and most likely danger to her.

However, if a man that grew up in society where it is expected that the man is in charge of the household, and it is his responsibility to "take care" of the women; that would include his sisters, or even widowed female relatives, then such actions are considered as part of his responsibilities. I do not believe it has anything to do with religion; it is cultural. Some 30 years ago my Greek friend's father would do exactly the same; she was allowed to spend time with her fiance only if she had a chaperon. Her father dropped her off in th morning and collected her after work. She was allowed to go to cinema with group of women, but her father would drop her off and pick her up, and she could not have a cup of coffee afterwards. And once she got married her husband would take over. I suspected he would not be as strict as her father, and their kids would have much more freedom. She grew up like that, she accepted that was what was expected, and did not mind. OK, maybe except not being able to have a coffee after movie, but basically she accepted that her father does it because he is protecting her reputation, and makes sure that she finds a good Greek husband for her.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

k0llectable5 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 02:03:09 GMT

I know I'm gunna get caned for this but, what if the woman dresses like a prostitute and eats nothing but McDonalds, has dangerous friends and hangs out in undesirable places and is promiscuous and a drug addict always hiding from her husband the drug deals

and flings that are organized with her phone.

Would it be abusive if the bloke was engaging in what sounds like such domineering behaviour then or?

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

karliandjacko — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:06:44 GMT

@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

I know I'm gunna get caned for this but, what if the woman dresses like a prostitute and eats nothing but McDonalds, has dangerous friends and hangs out in undesirable places and is promiscuous and a drug addict always hiding from her husband the drug deals
and flings that are organized with her phone.

Would it be abusive if the bloke was engaging in what sounds like such domineering behaviour then or?

Say what?

Dredging to find excuses for domestic violence are we?

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

***super_nova*** — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:26:05 GMT

@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

I know I'm gunna get caned for this but, what if the woman dresses like a prostitute and eats nothing but McDonalds, has dangerous friends and hangs out in undesirable places and is promiscuous and a drug addict always hiding from her husband the drug deals
and flings that are organized with her phone.

Would it be abusive if the bloke was engaging in what sounds like such domineering behaviour then or?

Yes, if he does not like it he can just leave and start divorce proceedings, just as should a woman if her husband gone feral like that.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

k0llectable5 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:26:05 GMT

@karliandjacko wrote:
@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

I know I'm gunna get caned for this but, what if the woman dresses like a prostitute and eats nothing but McDonalds, has dangerous friends and hangs out in undesirable places and is promiscuous and a drug addict always hiding from her husband the drug deals
and flings that are organized with her phone.

Would it be abusive if the bloke was engaging in what sounds like such domineering behaviour then or?
Say what?

Dredging to find excuses for domestic violence are we?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

No of course not. I just thought that maybe in certain circumstances what is considered abusive could actually be protective. (If the woman is the type to be easily lead astray...)

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

karliandjacko — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:29:19 GMT

@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
@karliandjacko wrote:
@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

I know I'm gunna get caned for this but, what if the woman dresses like a prostitute and eats nothing but McDonalds, has dangerous friends and hangs out in undesirable places and is promiscuous and a drug addict always hiding from her husband the drug deals
and flings that are organized with her phone.

Would it be abusive if the bloke was engaging in what sounds like such domineering behaviour then or?
Say what?

Dredging to find excuses for domestic violence are we?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

No of course not. I just thought that maybe in certain circumstances what is considered abusive could actually be protective. (If the woman is the type to be easily lead astray...)

Protective?

lead astray?

reached the bottom of the barrel yet?

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

the_great_she_elephant — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:34:11 GMT

Maybe the letter is just clumsily written and isn't intended to mean what it actually says,but what it alleges that every domestic violence support service in the Western world, condones the domination and control of women if it's done for religious purposes.

Now I can't speak for organisations in other countries but as far as those in Australia are concerned that is a load of old coprolite.

Can youseriously imagine any woman here in Australia fronting up at a womens counselling service saying "My husband won't let me have a job or choose my own clothes and friends or even leave the house unless he is with me," only to be told, "Ah but he is a disciple of the the Calluthumpion Brotherhood and believes it is his religious duty to protect you from your sinful desires, so you'll just have to put up with it,

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

cherry*135 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:39:20 GMT

I did speak with a woman (Asian) working in a retail shop who said her husband didn't want her to work or study. Good for her for not taking any notice of him, she was working and saving her money earned to do a course. She was an excellent retail assistant, so I hope she does well in what ever she wants to do.

That's cultural though, not religion.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

polksaladallie — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 04:22:25 GMT

I assumed this was meant to be another whatsit bashing thread. But thankfully no-one has taken the bait.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

k0llectable5 — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 05:06:43 GMT

@karliandjacko wrote:
@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
@karliandjacko wrote:
@secondhand-wonderland wrote:
According to every domestic violence support service in the Western world, if blokes control what their female partner eats and wears, who she can have as friends, where she can go, and checks her phone, that’s an abusive relationship. Unless it’s for religious reasons.

I know I'm gunna get caned for this but, what if the woman dresses like a prostitute and eats nothing but McDonalds, has dangerous friends and hangs out in undesirable places and is promiscuous and a drug addict always hiding from her husband the drug deals
and flings that are organized with her phone.

Would it be abusive if the bloke was engaging in what sounds like such domineering behaviour then or?
Say what?

Dredging to find excuses for domestic violence are we?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

No of course not. I just thought that maybe in certain circumstances what is considered abusive could actually be protective. (If the woman is the type to be easily lead astray...)

Protective?
lead astray?
reached the bottom of the barrel yet?

LOL I'm getting there it seems. I knew my comment would ruffle some feathers. Sometimes people make bad decisions and get involved with a bad crowd of people who might be into drugs or other illegal activities, I'd say if you were involved with these types of people engaging in illegal or criminal behaviour you have been led astray. And if you are a drug addict chances are you will need protecting from these bad influences in your life.

I'm really not trying to make excuses for domestic violence, thats just sick... I'm just looking at the article from a different perspective.

In a normal situaltion, I would absolutely agree that checking phones, controlling food and clothing etc is definately a form of abusive behaviour.

Re: White Ribbon campaign weakened

karliandjacko — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 05:26:06 GMT

@secondhand-wonderland wrote:

LOL I'm getting there it seems. I knew my comment would ruffle some feathers. Sometimes people make bad decisions and get involved with a bad crowd of people who might be into drugs or other illegal activities, I'd say if you were involved with these types of people engaging in illegal or criminal behaviour you have been led astray. And if you are a drug addict chances are you will need protecting from these bad influences in your life.

I'm really not trying to make excuses for domestic violence, thats just sick... I'm just looking at the article from a different perspective.

In a normal situaltion, I would absolutely agree that checking phones, controlling food and clothing etc is definately a form of abusive behaviour.

You're completely changing the subject and going off on a tangent in which women are weak, easily led astray and need male protection or violence to keep them inline.