Are there any rumours of an inauguration in the North Pole?

(Should we bring this thread to a graceful end, perhaps starting a new non-Christmas one? We can always start a new Christmas one in December. It’s up to everyone who participated on this thread.)

Doesn’t this beg the question of whether elves have left the building?

Would it end up on Santa’s own streaming service, and would it be revealed that Santa is actually undercover as a Fauna Researcher?

Wouldn’t this lead to many intoxicated marsupials with bottles of wine hidden in their pouches while their poor joeys are abandoned at orphanages, leading to multiple arrests and a plethora of defendants ending up in kangaroo court?

Have you found Uncle Eddie sneaking down in the middle of the night when staying over, to filch the good stuff if he’s able to get it from the locked liquor cabinet?

Might Santa’s expertise be exaggerated by himself, as I’ve never seen his certificates displayed and there is reason to believe that he drinks too much beer or whisky or brandy to have as sharp a mind as he has been claiming?

Wouldn’t Santa be confused by a reference to thongs, given that his perspective would be European and conjure up ladies with insufficient bottom coverage?

Wouldn’t his name be on the list of people who are nice enough to receive gumdrops in their Christmas stockings?

Doesn’t this beg the question of incremental time travel between each stop, or are chimneys somehow involved tempus fugit being replaced by Santa fugit instead?

Is that why Santa says Ho Ho Ho (Hello Ozone)?

Is it true that the reindeer are being used in a propulsion experiment named Flight of Aerial Reindeer Trials?

Are you saying that the bad elves have wings and can swoop through the air?

Is it even possible for us to assume that, given that elves are notoriously hard to locate even at the best of times, and that their naughtiness would have to be established under strict guidelines?

Isn’t there a naughty or nice list especially for this purpose?

Is there an evil elf holding a detonator?

Is the moon over the North Pole waxy?

Is Rudolf fearful of being roasted with a lemon and sprigs of rosemary in his nether regions, and if so, who is the attempted murderer?

Is there an attempt on Rudolph’s life through nefarious salty comestible means?

Could this be the government’s plan to reduce the demand for housing, by killing off a certain percentage in The Final Vegemite Protocol?

Why would I want Vegemite ice cream from Woolies when I can get

Vegemite Hot Cross Buns from Coles?

Haven’t you ever found Vegemite ice cream in Woolies?

Can we find Dickensian satay sauce in supermarkets?

Would I ever have slept through such a travesty, and would I not smack any such thieving jackanapes with an empty soup bowl about the head if he so much as essayed such a jelly-hearted usurping?

Would Dickens have any truck with intruders into his Christmas Carol?

What sort of scones need a knife to break them apart?  I'm sure the Grinch must have made them.  Mrs Claus would be would be drummed out of the CWA for such a travesty.

Can the Queenslanders use a guillotine to cut their scones, especially if they sit on Santa’s knee and beg for a guillotine?

Would a glowing red nose in the stew be suspicious? and would Mrs Claus be using her husband’s special Christmas sleigh to smuggle her pumpkin scones in to Queensland?

Just what sort of food does the cook prepare?

Would the reindeer understand euphemisms and do they chase Santa’s granny and the North Pole cook?

How did dust get into this, and is it possible that the cleaning staff haven’t been using scrubbing and cleaning and checking nooks and crannies?

Can you envisage the elves getting rather sloshed after leftover brandy lured them on to a life of alcoholic depravity, and would this involve their smashing frozen brandy fountains with hammers intended for making toys?

Are brandy fountains going to attract tourists to the North Pole?

Could I have been thinking of Mythbusters, and does sooty feet cause cramps - and does that suggest Santa’s brandy is laced with magnesium?