https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/359046#M151206 <P class="mce-p"></P><BLOCKQUOTE><TABLE border="1"><TBODY><TR><TD><P></P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Now I have a point to this story ... :^O</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">I realised I tend to tolerate way more than I need to. Which brings me to the point of my story.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">For years I tolerated the problems in my relationship with Mr Ex. He never ever looked after my needs. Ever. One night I had a bad asthma attack and he begrudgingly took me to emergency but moaned and grumbled the whole time he sat by my bed while I'm struggling to breath. He left me there after a couple of hours and I had to call my sister and daughter. If I had a migraine he'd refuse to walk across the road to the chemist. But when he had the sniffles or a headache I'd hand him his pandol and fussed over him&nbsp; ....</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">The last couple of years he refused to take me out. Kept saying he was too busy or too tired. He'd get jealous and cranky if I went out with my friends. He'd even walk around me and sigh if I spent more than 10 mins on the phone.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">When I'd finally crack it, he'd throw me a crumb of affection and I'd be back thinking everything was OK again. But it would only last a week or two and he'd be back to ignoring me again.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">I tolerated a crappy relationship for way more than I should have. There were times I thought about leaving him, but I loved him and didn't want to hurt him. And if thruth be told .. I was too afraid to start all over again on my own at 50.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Mr Ex wasn't happy. I begged him to meet me half way in fixing our relationship but he dismissed me. He made the monumental mistake of looking for another person to make him happy. He'll always be unhappy until he realises his unhappiness comes from within himself. One night before I found out about his affair, I turned to him and said "you know it's not me making you unhappy" and he quietly said "I know". It was the only truthful thing he said during that time of lies and deceit.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">We all know how it ended. I could have saved myself the trauma of being betrayed if I'd had the courage to leave years ago. And you need more than love to keep a relationship going. You need trust, team work, caring for each others needs and being responsible for your own happiness and <EM>each</EM> putting in 100% into the relationship. And here's the big one. When you first meet someone, they will tell you the truth about themselves. Listen to them. They will show you the red flags. Look for them. They are there. Don't ever think you can 'fix' them. Don't ever think your love with change the person.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">So that's what I've learned about relationships.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">What I've learned about me, besides the fact I tolerate crap for way too long ... I'm way stronger than I thought I was.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">I can do this. We can do this. :-x</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></BLOCKQUOTE><P></P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Just a quick hello to everybody - been bust with my store, packing parcel etc and must get to bed before it's too late - my sleep pattern is cactus at ATM.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Wanted to make a comment on your&nbsp; post Ms Mioux.&nbsp; You have certainly come a long way and what a huge number of views this post has had.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">You probably already know this - but what you were in, and many people are and remain that way is a Co-Dependant Relationship.&nbsp; There are a few good books around on this topic, and also unless it's changed there were also topics on the "Surviving Infidelity" Website.&nbsp; That site was so helpful to me, and am glad it's still going a sit was going to close down at one time.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">I would recommend it to anyone who's coping with infidelity in their relationship.&nbsp; I'm even still email friend with one lady I "met" on there, and her husband was also a member.&nbsp; Like me, she was fortunate that her husband was repentant and willing to fully reconcile - they are still very much in love as I am with my darling husband.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">I really think we all need to look at any relationships we have, now and again, to make sure they are not or becoming Co-Dependant, as many people don't even realise it is happening, and sometimes it's so bad things start getting really tough in relationships.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Sorry for the scroller, I will bow out now - hope I'm not repeating what somebody else may have posted, as haven't read back tonight.</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Will be back wheLn I have more time - often think about you ladies in your OKs!!!!</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p">Take care of yourself - it's not selfish - just sensible!!!!</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P> Sun, 11 Mar 2012 12:36:37 GMT mindtoobusy 2012-03-11T12:36:37Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304659#M108828 :^O Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:15:22 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304659#M108828 cat_mioux 2011-01-24T11:15:22Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304666#M108831 What's going on?<BR /> <BR /> :^O Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:16:49 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304666#M108831 freddie*rooster 2011-01-24T11:16:49Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304674#M108835 I think we need a musical interlude...........<BR /> <BR /> I GET KNOCKED DOWN<BR /> BUT I GET UP AGAIN:^O<BR /> <BR /> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDkVQvhZx04&amp;feature=related Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:18:26 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304674#M108835 soundcollector65 2011-01-24T11:18:26Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304677#M108837 Gee you have to be quick around here...Oh I like this, it's really nice, lots of floor cushions, incense, hmmmmm can I smell coffee? No? Herbal tea? It's Ok I bough my own sauvignon blanc....now I am just going to settle on that big black furry cushion over there....pushes another kitteh aside, so where were we? Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:18:43 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304677#M108837 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:18:43Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304682#M108840 Cat I think they must be getting in through the catflaps:^O Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:19:28 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304682#M108840 soundcollector65 2011-01-24T11:19:28Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304692#M108843 its getting sillier and silliest Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:19:35 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304692#M108843 thequeenof 2011-01-24T11:19:35Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304702#M108851 Gee Cat, I heard you had some fancy statues around here? Didya get rid of them? Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:19:43 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304702#M108851 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:19:43Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304709#M108859 I think so sound...perhaps some duct tape is inorder? Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:20:49 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304709#M108859 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:20:49Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304712#M108862 I wanna know why I am pink!!!!!! Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:21:19 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304712#M108862 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:21:19Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304718#M108866 What happened?<BR /> I just posted on mioux thread and pooooof it's gone.<BR /> <BR /> LOL, I better go to bed. Must be loosing my marbles. <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":face_with_open_mouth:">😮</span> Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:22:10 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304718#M108866 lind9650 2011-01-24T11:22:10Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304722#M108868 Nah it's all good lind...come take a seat! Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:23:33 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304722#M108868 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:23:33Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304725#M108870 keeliclare, we're twins. Me too. I'm beginning to think my ex is stalking me and not liking what I say.;-)<BR /> <BR /> Now tell us cat, what did happen to that hideous statue? I reckon a ceremonial smashing is in order. Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:24:16 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304725#M108870 cynthecowgirl 2011-01-24T11:24:16Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304761#M108881 I reckon super glue it to the bonnet of his car Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:27:05 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304761#M108881 soundcollector65 2011-01-24T11:27:05Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304770#M108888 &lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt; and see that little dog over there? <BR /> Wello I used to know <I>someone</I> who didn't like the thought of having a small dog and thought dogs should be outside all the time. <BR /> <BR /> Well that little fella is tiny, hangs around inside with us, sleeps in my laundry and sometimes ON MY BED!!! So ]:):-p to you. Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:27:41 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304770#M108888 cynthecowgirl 2011-01-24T11:27:41Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304778#M108893 <BLOCKQUOTE><TABLE border="1"><TBODY><TR><TD>I reckon super glue it to the bonnet of his car</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></BLOCKQUOTE><BR /> <BR /> <BR /> LOL...like a Rolls Royce emblem....bahahaha Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:28:35 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304778#M108893 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:28:35Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304784#M108897 Exactly;-) Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:29:02 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304784#M108897 soundcollector65 2011-01-24T11:29:02Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304790#M108902 LOL cynthe...yep the same here.....except mine is not so tiny and I really am trying to persuade him his bed is more comfortable than mine! Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:29:37 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304790#M108902 keeliaclare 2011-01-24T11:29:37Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304798#M108908 Cat, I hesitate to give advice - as opposed to support - but I just have this gut feeling that telling the skanks husband - appealling thought the idea must be from your point of view - is not the way to go.<BR /> There is an old Yorkshire saying, 'When in doubt, say nowt.' Once something has been said it cannot be unsaid and you have no way of foreseeing what the repercussions might be for him, his family or for yourself. Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:29:58 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304798#M108908 the_great_she_elephant 2011-01-24T11:29:58Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304803#M108912 <BLOCKQUOTE><TABLE border="1"><TBODY><TR><TD>I think we need a musical interlude........... <BR /> <BR /> I GET KNOCKED DOWN <BR /> BUT I GET UP AGAIN:^O <BR /> <BR /> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDkVQvhZx04&amp;feature=related</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></BLOCKQUOTE><BR /> <BR /> <BR /> :^O Playing it now.<BR /> <BR /> Welcome to my new home. It is peaceful, rustic, soft textured cushions, low lighting, candles, warm furry kittehs purring (including me). I have coffee, tea, herbal and Bourbon <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:">😄</span><BR /> <BR /> And no fugly statues! Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:30:12 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304803#M108912 cat_mioux 2011-01-24T11:30:12Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304808#M108916 <BLOCKQUOTE><TABLE border="1"><TBODY><TR><TD>Cat, I hesitate to give advice - as opposed to support - but I just have this gut feeling that telling the skanks husband - appealling thought the idea must be from your point of view - is not the way to go. <BR /> There is an old Yorkshire saying, 'When in doubt, say nowt.' Once something has been said it cannot be unsaid and you have no way of foreseeing what the repercussions might be for him, his family or for yourself.</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></BLOCKQUOTE><BR /> <BR /> I agree with you lovely elephant. I couldn't live with myself. At least after all this over I can say I did so with integrity. Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:31:41 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Cat-mioux-s-new-home/m-p/304808#M108916 cat_mioux 2011-01-24T11:31:41Z