topic Re: Public Property ? in Community Spirit

Public Property ?

lakeland27 — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 05:58:49 GMT

today i had an incident occur involving my 3 and 3 quarter year old son . its something that happens reasonably often.. and i wonder if it is rude of me to respond in the way i do.

I take him with me to the local shopping precinct in order to run some errands , and he tends to attract a bit of attention from some 'ladies' there as he is rather a cute little chap (its in his DNA 🙂 thanks tone).

anyway, the first lady drops down to his level and says 'i'd like to take him home .. what a gorgeous little boy.. etc'' i say 'yes , a lot of people say that' (or something similarly bland) and the woman ignores me totally and continues to annoy him with tickles and other unwanted attention. I take his hand and walk on only for the same thing to happen again... lady talks to my son and ignores me totally. dont get me wrong, i don't want the attention of these people.. but i do get annoyed with the ignorant behaviour so i asked the 3rd person not to talk to him, and told her to 'retreat' in no uncertain terms as the boy gets tired of it himself. needless to say person No3 gets irate and calls me various things .

am i being unreasonable ? it seemed a fair number in the crowd there thought so.

Re: Public Property ?

izabsmiling — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:04:23 GMT

I can understand how you felt .Could it have been the 'no uncertain terms' used that others thought unreasonable (rather than the reason you felt the way you did..others wouldn't have known 'why' would they ?)

Re: Public Property ?

donnashuggy — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:05:31 GMT

He probably needs a haircut, used to happen to my son all the time too, one of those mullets should do the trick 😄

Re: Public Property ?

just_me_karen — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:05:58 GMT

Most parents would be proud, why can't you thank them and move along? Or teach him some self protective behaviours. Most kids of that age are excellent at letting adults know when enough is enough, so I'm thinking it's more your problem than his. I'm thinking of a tshirt he could wear that would discourage the women 😄

Re: Public Property ?

lakeland27 — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:06:22 GMT

possibly iza 🙂 i can be a little caustic.

Re: Public Property ?

azureline** — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:06:45 GMT

Unreasonable to expect strangers to respect boundaries? no.

However, twice already and then you let them have it....maybe a tad unreasonable. Person 3 took the brunt of it undeserved. However, person 3 should not respond like that.

There are polite ways to get people to leave children alone in public.

Re: Public Property ?

lakeland27 — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:09:50 GMT

He probably needs a haircut, used to happen to my son all the time too, one of those mullets should do the trick 😄

no , he had a haircut recently

Re: Public Property ?

cherry*135 — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:10:55 GMT

Can you just say something like.. we have a lot on today, can't stay and chat... and keep moving. (keep moving might be the most important bit, unless they are accosting you while you are standing in a shop queue).

Re: Public Property ?

izabsmiling — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:11:28 GMT

some admirers can be a bit much and even scary

Re: Public Property ?

lakeland27 — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:15:07 GMT

Most parents would be proud, why can't you thank them and move along? Or teach him some self protective behaviours. Most kids of that age are excellent at letting adults know when enough is enough, so I'm thinking it's more your problem than his. I'm thinking of a tshirt he could wear that would discourage the women 😄

i've exhausted all of the 'nice' and 'tactful' methods. his t-shirt hasn't any of the more obvious motifs karen. besides, with a child in tow i'm very well behaved. i don't want to influence his behaviour in any way (set a poor example for want of a better expression)

Re: Public Property ?

izabsmiling — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:16:06 GMT

Most parents would be proud, why can't you thank them and move along? Or teach him some self protective behaviours. Most kids of that age are excellent at letting adults know when enough is enough, so I'm thinking it's more your problem than his. I'm thinking of a tshirt he could wear that would discourage the women 😄

lol At the age of 3 My brother would have bitten people to let the adults know enough was enough.

Re: Public Property ?

just_me_karen — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:18:55 GMT

Aren't you setting him a bad example by being rude to people who are paying him a compliment? Do you think the praise from strangers, or its rejection by his mother, would be more beneficial to his self esteem?

Re: Public Property ?

izabsmiling — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:19:09 GMT

LL, I think young kids also need to learn or know that they don't have to take attention from adults that they don't feel comfortable with...so personally I kind of want/ed my kids to know that and be guided by how they feel in different situations ?

Re: Public Property ?

donnashuggy — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:20:45 GMT

Have you thought of bullet hole t-shirts? 😄

Re: Public Property ?

just_me_karen — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:21:45 GMT

I thought of that first :^O 😄

Re: Public Property ?

katydidthat — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:23:35 GMT

I might notice a young child and say "Oh, what a lovely smile" or something. The parent smiles back and I move on. I'm shopping, they're shopping ... we're busy.

When my son was young, he had white blond hair and lovely blue eyes (he's still got lovely blue eyes, although the hair is a bit darker now he's 15). So, he got the attention, too ...

When we were in Malaysia, almost every woman in the street wanted to touch him, pinch his cheeks, talk to him in his stroller. It used to take ages to get anywhere :^O

Lakeland, you're a guy, right? I think older women love seeing men taking their kids shopping and doing things with them. It probably didn't happen with their fathers or their husbands. And, maybe they are a bit lonely and want a conversation. They might be a bit shy of you because you are different to their experience of men - but not scared of small children.

Dunno ... generalising here ...

Re: Public Property ?

izabsmiling — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:23:43 GMT

one with skull and cross bones may work ?

Re: Public Property ?

donnashuggy — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:23:46 GMT

We have always taught our children to avoid eye contact with strangers but mostly nutters, bit hard to do that with a 3 year old, maybe worth a try!

Re: Public Property ?

lakeland27 — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:24:10 GMT

Unreasonable to expect strangers to respect boundaries? no.

However, twice already and then you let them have it....maybe a tad unreasonable. Person 3 took the brunt of it undeserved. However, person 3 should not respond like that.

There are polite ways to get people to leave children alone in public.

i didn't so much 'let her have it' as ask her to 'let go of him' as she had him by the arm. he's told me he doesn't like it very clearly and a i have to consider his wishes. thanks for the opinions 🙂

Re: Public Property ?

donnashuggy — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:26:49 GMT

Maybe a Tony Abbott t-shirt would do the trick?

I reckon that would work lol