https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/543490#M169215 <P><SPAN>1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.&nbsp;</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>And now, the honorable mentions:</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.&nbsp;</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.&nbsp;</SPAN><BR /><BR /><SPAN>*** Remember.... They walk among us!!! They reproduce!!!***</SPAN></P> Tue, 09 Jul 2013 07:23:02 GMT tommy.irene 2013-07-09T07:23:02Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1518#M256 Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:38:04 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1518#M256 tommy.irene 2009-04-11T09:38:04Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1524#M257 Welcome and please enjoy your stay Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:38:50 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1524#M257 tattsariffic 2009-04-11T09:38:50Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1528#M258 Are you married? If not are you looking for an eas enty into Oz? Is so, my hand is up! But you would have to talk a lot. Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:40:26 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1528#M258 shhh_its_me 2009-04-11T09:40:26Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1532#M259 Welcome. Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:41:43 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1532#M259 thebraff 2009-04-11T09:41:43Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1536#M260 Hello there!!<BR /> <BR /> <BR /> Beware of the Gurriers <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":winking_face:">😉</span> Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:42:22 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1536#M260 night.wol 2009-04-11T09:42:22Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1539#M261 welcome to down under <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":winking_face:">😉</span><BR /> begger off shhh, hes mine X-( or are you a she <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":face_with_open_mouth:">😮</span><BR /> :^O Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:43:43 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1539#M261 doll*obsession 2009-04-11T09:43:43Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1542#M262 &gt; Are you married? If not are you looking for an eas enty into Oz? Is so, my hand is up! But you would have to talk a lot.<BR /> Yes im married and im 70years old Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:44:20 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1542#M262 tommy.irene 2009-04-11T09:44:20Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1544#M263 Nuh uh... look woman you are already taken plus I put my hand up first! Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:45:34 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1544#M263 shhh_its_me 2009-04-11T09:45:34Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1547#M264 If you are a good looking woman under 80 Sssshhh and Doll then you ae in with a chance. :^O Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:45:55 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1547#M264 thebraff 2009-04-11T09:45:55Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1550#M265 lol that stopped them real quick lol Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:45:55 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1550#M265 tattsariffic 2009-04-11T09:45:55Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1553#M266 Ahhh bugger.... you got a grandson?? *hopeful looking* (learnt it off patkin) Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:46:41 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1553#M266 shhh_its_me 2009-04-11T09:46:41Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1557#M267 Hi Tommy<BR /> <BR /> it's night time here Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:47:23 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1557#M267 Anonymous 2009-04-11T09:47:23Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1560#M268 :^O The braff and tatts. Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:47:26 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1560#M268 shhh_its_me 2009-04-11T09:47:26Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1564#M269 Have to go back to UK my breakfast is on table ..Happy Easter..see you all later Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:48:50 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1564#M269 tommy.irene 2009-04-11T09:48:50Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1568#M270 &gt; :^O The braff and tatts.<BR /> Why you laughing at me? I just said welcome lol Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:50:41 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1568#M270 tattsariffic 2009-04-11T09:50:41Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1571#M271 &gt; Nuh uh... look woman you are already taken plus I put my hand up first!<BR /> <BR /> <BR /> Darn! pesky husband gets in the way again *sulks* Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:52:13 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1571#M271 doll*obsession 2009-04-11T09:52:13Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1574#M272 LOL!!....I think you all managed to scare the nice Irishman away!!:^O Sat, 11 Apr 2009 09:54:50 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1574#M272 vintage-star 2009-04-11T09:54:50Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1578#M273 lol<BR /> <BR /> Happy Easter Tommy to you too come back soon Sat, 11 Apr 2009 10:00:03 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1578#M273 Anonymous 2009-04-11T10:00:03Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1580#M274 HI everyone thanks for answerning my thread.....are you short of men..might send some mates for you Sat, 11 Apr 2009 10:59:07 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1580#M274 tommy.irene 2009-04-11T10:59:07Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1584#M275 lol Please do!! Not for doll tho... she is taken plus I had my hand up first!! Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:06:04 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/Visiting-Irishman-From-UK/m-p/1584#M275 shhh_its_me 2009-04-11T11:06:04Z