topic Re: Dilemma. What would you do? in Community Spirit

Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 22:34:36 GMT

Ok, this is quite a long story. I hope it makes sense. **Real names have not been used**

On the weekend, my daughter came to me and said "Mum, theres something odd going on with some of my friends that i want to talk to you about cause im a bit worried"

She tells me that 3 of her friends (lets call them Tom, Jim and Sue) have made friends on facebook with a boy (lets call him John) they dont know who lives in Newcastle. Tom, Jim and Sue live in Adelaide.

Tom became friends with John first by receiving an out of the blue friend request from him.

John claims to be a 16 year old boy. His facebook page has lots of photos of him with heaps of friends. He's quite a good looking kid.

Tom think John is so cool and, via facebook, introduces him to Jim and Sue.

John strikes up quite a friendship with Sue and last week asked her to be his girlfriend. Sue is completely infatuated with John.

John has now said that his dad is going to bring him to Adelaide in a couple of weeks to meet Tom, Jim and Sue.

He has even said that a great place for them to all meet up would be the local swimming pool.

None of this sits right with me. Why a kid in Newcastle (a popular, good looking one according to his facebook page) would need to make friends with strangers in Adelaide. Would want one of them to be his girlfriend and then get his dad to bring him all the way over here to meet them.

Im not sure if you are all aware of the of the Carly Ryan story, but it is making me quite nervous about whats going on.

Carly Ryan- http://au.news.yahoo.com/today-tonight/lifestyle/article/-/7013312/internet-predators/

I know Jim's mother quite well and am going to talk to her about it all tomorrow. I know she has no idea who Jim talks to on facebook.

Im wondering, should i go to the police? They could at least investigate if John is real. I thought about going to the school, but all they would do is give a talk about internet predators and the kids would ignore it.

Over the weekend, my daughter tried to talk to Tom and Jim about the risks but they just didnt get it. They think John is so cool.

The whole "better to be safe than sorry" phrase keeps popping in my head.

Oh, and by the way, John's last name on facebook in Smith

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 22:59:44 GMT

maybe if i had written about which political party he votes for or his hair colour, i may get more replies and help

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

azureline** — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:02:31 GMT

I would do exactly what you are doing and also contact the parents of the other 2. If they don't contact police, you should then do that.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

azureline** — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:06:49 GMT

and, btw, this thread only just showed up on my page when you posted post 1.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:09:14 GMT

I would do exactly what you are doing and also contact the parents of the other 2. If they don't contact police, you should then do that.

I dont really know the other 2 parents. Only enough to say a hello if i happen to see them at a school event.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

kengillard — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:13:33 GMT

I'd tell the police Amy....if your child finds it odd, it prob. is! I'm sure the police have a special section to deal with internet creeps.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

kengillard — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:14:22 GMT

as the sayin is...."better safe than sorry"

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:19:31 GMT

I'd tell the police Amy....if your child finds it odd, it prob. is! I'm sure the police have a special section to deal with internet creeps.

thats what im leaning towards.

I figure, they would investigate the id and if its legit, then that would be the end of it.

If its not, then isnt there an internet predator department that deals with this sort of stuff and i can sleep better knowing i helped a bit.

My daughter is going to ask a few more questions about John at school today. And i will talk to Jim's mum tomorrow.

But im thinking, i will go to the police station on Wednesday.

I couldnt live with myself if one day, the news headline read about a kid being lured by an internet predator using the name John Smith.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

azureline** — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:21:51 GMT

I dont really know the other 2 parents. Only enough to say a hello if i happen to see them at a school event.

I think it is serious enough to call them, even if you don't know them.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:26:36 GMT

I think it is serious enough to call them, even if you don't know them.

I dont want to come across as a parent lecturing another parent on their kids ?:|

Im pretty sure Jim's mum knows Tom's mum pretty well so maybe after i talk to her tomorrow, she may talk to Toms mum then

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

kengillard — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:30:35 GMT

John Smith? not very clever........plus how do you REALLY know John is from Newcastle? He could be one of the kids from school in Adelaide??

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

izabsmiling — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:30:51 GMT

I hope that someone talks to the parents involved...they are the people who really need to be aware.

DDB, even if there was a real boy with a particular name (no doubt there are John Smiths) it does not mean that that is who is using that name .

If I was going to report it to the police, I don't think I'd wait.Though an arrangement may be being made for a later date in your State others could be being arranged for sooner.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

kengillard — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:31:28 GMT

http://www.police.nsw.gov.au/community_issues/domestic__and__family_violence/what_is_stalking

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

lakeland27 — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:32:39 GMT

i'd put in a friend request and try to talk to him myself. thats the best way to find out whats happening.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

katydidthat — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:33:43 GMT

I agree about calling the police, but ... maybe you could do a bit more investigation first?

Have you seen Smith's FaceBook page? Have you checked out the photos to see if they prove he lives in Newcastle? Have you checked the photos by seeing if you can look at Properties? Are they all of the same person? Is he wearing different clothes and in different places or were all the photos taken on the same day? Has he given his phone number or email addie to people?

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:36:53 GMT

John is a name i have used on here, but the boys last name , according to his fb account is Smith.

He claims to be from Newcastle.

No matter what, i will be talking to the school about maybe organising a seminar to educate not only the kids but also parents about online safety and predators.

Lakeland- i think i will leave it up to the police to do that kind of investigating.

If you read the Carly Ryan story, you will see that not only Carly, but also her Mum were conned by the predator.

http://www.carlyryanfoundation.com/carlys_story

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

kengillard — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:37:09 GMT

http://www.news.com.au/national/nick-xenophon-predators-are-targeting-our-kids-online-and-we-need-to-pass-carlys-law/story-fndo4dzn-1226557693709

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

izabsmiling — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:39:05 GMT

http://www.bendigoadvertiser.com.au/story/1274268/police-arrest-facebook-fiend/?cs=12

this is in our regions local newspaper today.

Very direct in this case.

Katey I don't know if any of that means much really .Photo's aren't hard to come by are they?

and of course anyone including a teens parents could use their teens fb couldn't they ?

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

daydream**believer — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:41:42 GMT

I agree about calling the police, but ... maybe you could do a bit more investigation first?

Have you seen Smith's FaceBook page? Yes

Have you checked out the photos to see if they prove he lives in Newcastle? They dont prove anything

Have you checked the photos by seeing if you can look at Properties? ??

Are they all of the same person? Yes

Is he wearing different clothes and in different places or were all the photos taken on the same day? He is wearing different clothes

Has he given his phone number or email addie to people? Not that im aware

Thing is, what the predators do is find a kids facebook account that is not set to private (not hard to do) .They then access the kids page and take the photos and then set up their own facebook account using the stolen photos and a fake name. The photos are real. They are of a young boy. But that doesnt mean that the facebook account is of that young boy.

Re: Dilemma. What would you do?

izabsmiling — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:42:42 GMT

http://www.cybersmart.gov.au/Schools/Cyber%20issues/Unwanted%20sexual%20contact.aspx

While online social interactions with both known individuals and strangers can be enriching, offering different perspectives and experiences, unfortunately not everyone online behaves appropriately.

It is possible for individuals to be deceptive about their true identity. For example, adults can pretend to be young people and communicate with young people online for sexual solicitation or grooming.

Sexual solicitation is where someone is asked to engage in a sexual conversation or activity or to send a sexually explicit image or information.

Online grooming of children is the illegal act of an adult or adults making online contact with a child under the age of sixteen with the intention of facilitating a sexual relationship. More information is available from the Australian Federal Police which investigates suspected cases of online grooming.

Educating children and young people about the potential threats posed by others online will help them to protect themselves from unwanted online contact.