topic Re: Bonding With Baby in Community Spirit

Bonding With Baby

*crikey*mate* — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:34:42 GMT

Back in the days when Moses was born, mothers gave birth and then the newborn was taken to the nursery to stay. (in most cases). Family and partners etc got to peek through a glass window when they came to visit. I'm not sure though if the mum got to be with the baby 24/7 or not, but it is my understanding they only saw the baby at feeding and changing time. (happy to be corrected if I am wrong)

Now fast forward to now, where it is deemed absolutely imperative that a mother "bond" with her newborn in the first few days/weeks following birth. In most cases, Mum and baby stay in the same room 24/7 kind of thing.

So now I'm wondering of this new generation of babies who have had the benefit of this bonding are any better emotionally than those from a bygone era? Are they more stable as adults than previous generations? Were kids from "back then" loved any less than their modern counterparts?

How exactly do the different generations compare considering the different ideologies in their birth and "bonding" experiences in those first few weeks of life?

Re: Bonding With Baby

kennedia_nigricans — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:44:02 GMT

the bonding thingy is deemed very important and actually the first minutes/seconds are VERY important. that is why the baby nowadays is given IMMEDIATELY to the mother after birth (or should be if possible).

Re: Bonding With Baby

jean2579 — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:45:13 GMT

When my Son was born in 1972, he went to the nursery and I only saw him for certain times for feeding and learning to bathe him. But on the other hand there was a lot more help, Mothers stayed in hospital for about 10 days to be sure that you could handle the newborn. I also wonder if the nursery restriction on visitors was a lot safer for baby with only the parents able to handle the baby.

Re: Bonding With Baby

kennedia_nigricans — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:45:35 GMT

hhmmm you forget about the other factors like being dumped in front of the TV (for hours) in early childhood....

Re: Bonding With Baby

*elizabeths-mum* — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:55:53 GMT

Along with breast feeding, bonding at birth is so important that if you can't do it, you might as well toss that baby away and try again until you get it right. (sarcastic undertones may be present here)
Honestly, there is more to raising stable healthy secure children to adulthood than that, thank goodness.

Re: Bonding With Baby

freakiness — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:56:32 GMT

Didn't Moses get floated away because he was a boy?

I don't think it had much to do with bonding.

We were taught the westerners went to maternity hospitals and Asian women went back to work in the rice fields, taking their baby along in a sling.

Re: Bonding With Baby

azureline** — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:58:03 GMT

Only my first was in a nursery, the neonatal special nursery, the rest were in with me except when visitors came and at rest hour.

I was a nursery baby but my parents were born at home.

Re: Bonding With Baby

*crikey*mate* — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:58:41 GMT

@kennedia_nigricans wrote:
the bonding thingy is deemed very important and actually the first minutes/seconds are VERY important. that is why the baby nowadays is given IMMEDIATELY to the mother after birth (or should be if possible).

so a baby who is born under general anaesthetic c - section, and thus not given that immediate bonding, is somehow disadvantaged?

Long term?

How?

Re: Bonding With Baby

*crikey*mate* — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:00:01 GMT

@my*mum wrote:

So now I'm wondering of this new generation of babies who have had the benefit of this bonding are any better emotionally than those from a bygone era? Are they more stable as adults than previous generations? Were kids from "back then" loved any less than their modern counterparts?

How exactly do the different generations compare considering the different ideologies in their birth and "bonding" experiences in those first few weeks of life?

Re: Bonding With Baby

i-need-a-martini — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:00:44 GMT

I'm not sure of the science.

But certainly in the animal kingdom , it doesn't take much for a mother to reject a baby unless they bond at birth. So logically I suppose this must be so for humans as well.

However, I would be never say that an adoptive parent doesn' bond with their baby.

Perhaps it isn't so much about physical contact but more a psychological connection?

Re: Bonding With Baby

i-need-a-martini — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:02:19 GMT

@my*mum wrote:
@my*mum wrote:

So now I'm wondering of this new generation of babies who have had the benefit of this bonding are any better emotionally than those from a bygone era? Are they more stable as adults than previous generations? Were kids from "back then" loved any less than their modern counterparts?

How exactly do the different generations compare considering the different ideologies in their birth and "bonding" experiences in those first few weeks of life?

I think absolutely that parents and children have a very different bond these days than they did 1000, 100 or even 30 years ago.

Re: Bonding With Baby

*crikey*mate* — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:05:08 GMT

Ok, a different bond, but is it a better bond? If so, in what ways is it better?

Re: Bonding With Baby

poddster — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:06:21 GMT

In what difinitive way

Re: Bonding With Baby

kennedia_nigricans — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:11:26 GMT

i did not say that you have to throw the baby away it it is not possible to connect it with the mother immediately.

it would never have accured to me to throw a baby away. shame on you, what sort of person are you?

don't be so defensive i am not attacking you.

i said (as above) that it is important. so if POSSIBLE give the baby to the mum as soon as possible. if it is not possible, then do it as soon as possible, but it is better do do it as soon as possible, not take the baby away for weighing or other unimportant stuff rather than giving it to the mother for the initial bonding.

of course it is important what happens in the months/years afterwards, i merely tryed to point out that the first few seconds are important.

Re: Bonding With Baby

poddster — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:12:35 GMT

in what way?

Re: Bonding With Baby

*elizabeths-mum* — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:13:20 GMT

I didn't say that you did, Kennedia. Even if you had not posted, I would have written what I did. My comment comes from working with women suffering pnd who attach to anything that underlines that they are failures as mothers before they have even had a chance to get started.

Re: Bonding With Baby

nevynreally — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:15:31 GMT

@kennedia_nigricans wrote:

i said (as above) that it is important. so if POSSIBLE give the baby to the mum as soon as possible. if it is not possible, then do it as soon as possible, but it is better do do it as soon as possible, not take the baby away for weighing or other unimportant stuff rather than giving it to the mother for the initial bonding.

of course it is important what happens in the months/years afterwards, i merely tryed to point out that the first few seconds are important.

The first few seconds? The newborn doesn't care, the mother is usually feeling relieved it's finally out. So over political correctness. Some mothers take longer to bond with their babies than others do. Has nothing to do with how soon they spend time together, or how long.

Re: Bonding With Baby

i-need-a-martini — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:17:28 GMT

@my*mum wrote:
Ok, a different bond, but is it a better bond? If so, in what ways is it better?

I suppose I am thinking about it in terms of a book I read recently about birth and motherhood in the 1950's. The book had quite a few recollections from women who felt they mothered from a distance in the age of routine and bottlefeeding and discipline.

And there is much wriiten about the lack of bond between child & parents 100 plus years ago

I dunno really.

Re: Bonding With Baby

kennedia_nigricans — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:18:41 GMT

you are wrong. i can't be bothered to google it for you but it was known more than 5 years ago that it DOES matter (the first few seconds).

Re: Bonding With Baby

poddster — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 12:24:25 GMT

who is saying that and on what authority?