topic Foster carers in Community Spirit

Foster carers

lady*em — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 10:08:48 GMT

Not sure if there are any foster carers here any more, but I'm hoping there may be.

I know someone who has two children in her care, who were both molested by family members, which is how they came to be in care. This person broke up from a long term partner a while ago. She has recently met someone else and has been posting pictures on fb of this man with his arm around one of the young girls, and his face up against hers. She looks quite uncomfortable.

Isn't it part of dept rules that such physical contact is not really allowed? Especially from someone who is barely known to the foster mother, let alone the kids. This man is throwing money at the foster mother, and she appears to be forgetting good judgement in return. In fact, she is behaving much like a schoolgirl. I'm not sure how to suggest she take care with this, and was hoping that if there were definite dept rules about this sort of thing, that that would be a good starting point. Any foster carers, or former ones,about who could help? Thanks.

Re: Foster carers

shoptilludroptara — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 10:14:10 GMT

im not a forster carer

but if you feel strongly that something might be wrong

it only takes a phone call to save a child

think carefully,and trust your instincts

better to be safe than sorry

tara

Re: Foster carers

esseco46 — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 10:19:15 GMT

I'm not a foster carer but I do know someone who has had 99 children in her care so far and I think you are right about the "dept rules that such physical contact is not really allowed". I personally would be worried about the emotional wellbeing for the child.

All it will take is an enquiry phone call to put your mind at ease.

Re: Foster carers

azureline** — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 10:30:44 GMT

isn't there also a rule about posting fb pics of foster care children?

Re: Foster carers

freshwater-2 — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 10:48:27 GMT

isn't there also a rule about posting fb pics of foster care children?

OMG I hope so. The remaiffications of this, in some cases, could be disastrous.

Re: Foster carers

lady*em — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 10:53:27 GMT

Thanks for your replies. I know I could make a phone call to the dept, but I'm sure they are snowed under and it is possible that it won't be really taken seriously. I thought if I could come from the angle with the foster mother that what she is doing at the moment could jeopardise the kids in her care, it might make her think. She's being very silly IMO. Until you know someone pretty well, I wouldn't be forcing "happy families" on my foster kids with them. This man may be very nice, but she hasn't known him long enough.

Re: Foster carers

bluecat*dancing — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 11:05:28 GMT

Contact the relevant authorities, tell them of your concerns and let them determine if it needs to be investigated. They'll also be able to let you know what the rules are regarding social media.

Re: Foster carers

bluecat*dancing — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 11:07:43 GMT

Also, there would already be a case worker assigned to the foster carer.

Re: Foster carers

chuk_77 — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 11:40:29 GMT

@azureline** wrote:
isn't there also a rule about posting fb pics of foster care children?

yes, almost put that in capitals. its publishing pics fullstop

Re: Foster carers

foxette-in-sox — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 12:17:26 GMT

The policy re publishing of photo's of children in care is very clear-as long as the child is not specifically identified as a child in care,then it most definitely is allowed.

For example,you could put a photo on facebook & tag it as Mary but what you are NOT allowed to write is 'This is Mary,a foster child'.

Re the bloke putting his arm around the child in a photo-so what ? It's not a criminal offence.

Re: Foster carers

***super_nova*** — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 12:25:53 GMT

I am sure that both partners had to be approved to be given foster kids. If the woman now has a new partner he would have to be also approved by the department. She should have immediately notified the department of any changes to her relationship, and you do not know if she did or did not. But if you feel that there is something sus going on, call the DOCS and let them check it out.

Re: Foster carers

buzzlightyearsgirlfriend — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 13:35:10 GMT

Just call the relevant dept. in your state have a chat with a worker, make a report. It might be nothing, but do what you think is right.

Re: Foster carers

lady*em — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 02:45:00 GMT

Thanks everyone. I might make a call to the dept for a chat tomorrow. The foster mum has had a few people voice concern with her whirlwind romance and how much he is with the kids without any screening from the department. But she doesn't want to hear it, because she is being showered with gifts and weekends away. He is in all probability a nice person, but kids in care need different protections I feel.

Re: Foster carers

kengillard — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 02:53:56 GMT

I think that's the sensible responsible thing to do Lady Em.