topic Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware in Community Spirit

Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

icyfroth — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:21:44 GMT

Nearly 300,000 Australian couples have a secret stash or bank account that their partner does not know about, a new research claims

A financial behaviour survey by TAL Life insurance found that almost one in two couples, that’s a staggering 45 per cent, have one partner with an account that their partner knows about but cannot gain access to.

Three per cent of Australian couples have a totally secret account, with an average amount of $30,000.

Men’s secret stash was bigger with anywhere between $30,000 and $37,700, while women kept $22,300 in theirs.

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I think it's good for a woman to have a secret nest egg in case a marriage or relationship becomes abusive or the partner/husband becomes unsupportive.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

mugssy65 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:28:53 GMT

My friend, when she knew her marriage was over started an account she called her "escape fund". She knew she would need a bond for a rental property and set up house money so to speak.
I can't help thinking that if you need a fund for just in case your already admitting your going to need it.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

lind9650 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:32:25 GMT

Ohhhh, how I wish I could stash $22,000.- in to my account.

Alas, our income just pays for all the neccessities after careful budgeting. Still we have more than millions of other people in this world, so I am grateful.

Erica

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

punch*drunk — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:35:43 GMT

Yep, thats me. Only because my husband is too busy (lazy) to come to the bank to set up accounts with me. He doesnt have any bank accounts in his name and he can only use credit card because he's also too busy (lazy) to go to the bank and get pin numbers put on his cards to access the bank accounts.

Do that many people really have a spare $30,000 plus they can keep hidden in an account?

I agree with mugs, if you set up a hidden account just in case, it kind of indicates a problem in the relationship, specifically a trust issue.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

bluecat*dancing — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:40:44 GMT

Been there, done that. When I separated from my ex, I discovered things of a financial nature that I knew nothing about.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

imastawka — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 02:01:56 GMT

My mother taught me over 50 years ago, to always have

your own money and never to have it all in a joint account.

My sister didn't heed that advice and when her husband died

she could not access the joint account, because the bank froze

the account for months.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

nevillesdaughter — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 02:08:48 GMT

I don't have a secret stash, but I tell my husband that I do and it's got MILLIONS in it. This keeps him coming home (it's certainly not for my cooking!).

Marina.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

cat_mioux — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 04:09:12 GMT

@punch*drunk wrote:

I agree with mugs, if you set up a hidden account just in case, it kind of indicates a problem in the relationship, specifically a trust issue.

Sorry Mugs and Punch but that's the most ridiculous statement. Almost half of marriages end up in divorce. Do people really think their marriage is so 'special' they are some how immune?

You may have the most wonderful relationship but you never know when it could all go suddenly pear shaped. Having an 'escape fund' would at least give you some piece of mind as well as options when the love of your life turns out to be a dud.

I wish I'd had an 'escape fund'. I wouldn't have had to deal with the nightmare of putting up with my now ex for 6 hellish weeks before he finally moved out. I would have used my escape fund to rent another property and get the heck out of there. I also would have had back up funds to help pay all the bills he left me with.

Because of my experience my daughter has an escape fund and ALL her friends do now to. Her partner knows she has an escape fund, she told him, and he thinks it's a great idea.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

purple_haize — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 04:20:42 GMT

I have 3 bank accounts, husband uses two of them because he is too lazy to get his own.......so I dont care if he uses those 2. The other account is mine and only mine, I have been thinking of setting up another account, to put money in for when ever I need it.....

When my first marriage broke up we had a joint account and when the ex left, he too every last cent out of that account and I was left with nothing, hence my idea for setting up another account that only I know about.

Doesnt matter how good you think your marriage is...........I have learnt you just never know, when it comes to men, so if it happen again, I will be secure and not like last time..

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

cat_mioux — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 04:29:43 GMT

Purple, that was the one thing I bless the Gods that I didn't agree to have a joint bank account with the ex. He kept asking me but his personal issues with debt made me shudder at the thought. He even asked me to sign as a guarantor for a loan once. I refused.

I don't disagree with joint bank accounts, as long as you set aside an escape fund for yourself and the partner you are sharing the account with isn't a complete wally and as soon as things go pear shaped you freeze the account. Then, just then, you might agree to a joint bank account. lol

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

**meep** — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 04:37:39 GMT

@mugssy65 wrote:
My friend, when she knew her marriage was over started an account she called her "escape fund". She knew she would need a bond for a rental property and set up house money so to speak.
I can't help thinking that if you need a fund for just in case your already admitting your going to need it.

Agree.

I agree with mugs, if you set up a hidden account just in case, it kind of indicates a problem in the relationship, specifically a trust issue.

Agree with that as well.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

**meep** — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 04:55:53 GMT

Because of my experience my daughter has an escape fund and ALL her friends do now to. Her partner knows she has an escape fund, she told him, and he thinks it's a great idea.

Then it is not a "secret stash" - which i think the topic is about. Couples hiding money from each other.

My husband does not have a problem with the fact that I have my own bank account and vice versa. We just never got around to changing things after we were married and eventually, couldn't be bothered, I guess. It is still 'our' money but we never felt the need to be accountable to each other in that respect.

It is the need for secrecy that I consider to be a problem.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

azureline** — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 04:57:59 GMT

We have a joint household account that all household accounts are paid from, rego, insurance, health/life insurance. We can both access it independantly but OH probably wouldn't know how.

We have a joint business account........... same issue but we both have to sign.

I have my own personal account that only I can access..............and he has no idea what I have in it and could care less. I do online banking with it too.

He has his own personal account but never goes to the bank and doesn't carry a card. He is not in favour of online banking.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

purple_haize — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 05:05:33 GMT

@**meep** wrote:
@mugssy65 wrote:
My friend, when she knew her marriage was over started an account she called her "escape fund". She knew she would need a bond for a rental property and set up house money so to speak.
I can't help thinking that if you need a fund for just in case your already admitting your going to need it.
Agree.

I agree with mugs, if you set up a hidden account just in case, it kind of indicates a problem in the relationship, specifically a trust issue.

Agree with that as well.

It doesnt indicate a problem with the marriage.................if you have been through a marriage that didnt work out and your OH took all the $$$$$, then you would think it wise to have another account.

When my ex left and took all the money from the joint account, I had nothing and I also had 2 small children to look after............I have been burnt once, I dont plan on getting burnt again...........

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

cat_mioux — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:31:04 GMT

@**meep** wrote:
Because of my experience my daughter has an escape fund and ALL her friends do now to. Her partner knows she has an escape fund, she told him, and he thinks it's a great idea.

Then it is not a "secret stash" - which i think the topic is about. Couples hiding money from each other.

My husband does not have a problem with the fact that I have my own bank account and vice versa. We just never got around to changing things after we were married and eventually, couldn't be bothered, I guess. It is still 'our' money but we never felt the need to be accountable to each other in that respect.

It is the need for secrecy that I consider to be a problem.

All my daughters friends have kept their escape fund secret and so would I next time. Sure it's about trust issues (doh!) but it doesn't indicate you don't trust the individual themselves. It's like purple said, been burnt and plan to never be in that position again no matter who I was having a relationship with.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

nicnacs_4u — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:42:59 GMT

@imastawka wrote:
My mother taught me over 50 years ago, to always have
your own money and never to have it all in a joint account.
My sister didn't heed that advice and when her husband died
she could not access the joint account, because the bank froze
the account for months.

May I ask why the bank froze their account?.When my OH passed away all our money was in both names and I had no trouble accessing it straight away.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

mugssy65 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:45:38 GMT

I thought it was the other way round too, Nic that's why couples have joint accounts, it's single named accounts that become frozen until ownership is proven, isn't it?

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

nicnacs_4u — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:47:46 GMT

I think you could be right Mugssy

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

**meep** — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 10:01:54 GMT

@mugssy65 wrote:
I thought it was the other way round too, Nic that's why couples have joint accounts, it's single named accounts that become frozen until ownership is proven, isn't it?

That's what I thought as well.

Re: Aussie Couples Keep Secret Cash Stash, Partners Unaware

**meep** — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 01:44:43 GMT

I think everyone should have "emergency funds". I have been in a situation where I had none and I found it stressful. Life is just too unpredictable. I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who could not understand that, putting me in a position where had to keep it a secret.