topic Re: Rational suicide: in Community Spirit

Rational suicide:

grandmoon — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:31:38 GMT

Beverley Broadbent was not dying of a terminal illness, nor was she depressed or unhappy. But at 83, she wanted to die.

After living a rich and satisfying life, the Brighton East woman said the ageing process had come to feel like a disease that was robbing her of her physical and mental fitness. In February, she said she had had enough.

''I look well and I walk well so people think I'm fine. But I have so many things wrong with me,'' she said. ''The balance is gone. It's taking so much time for me to keep fit to enjoy myself that there's not enough time to enjoy myself.''

In several interviews with Fairfax Media, Ms Broadbent said she planned to take her own life so she could have a peaceful, dignified death. She said she did not want her health to deteriorate to the point where she had dementia or found herself in a nursing home with no way out.

The environmental activist chose to tell her story because she believed many elderly people wanted to die when they felt their life was complete, but lacked the means to go gently.

Re: Rational suicide:

grandmoon — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:38:25 GMT

Would you like to have the right to do as Beverley did ??

Re: Rational suicide:

margomeoz — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:39:03 GMT

I totally agree with her, you should be allowed to have a big party say farewell to all the people ou have loved in your life and then get the hell out of here.

Why would anyone want to ruin a good life with pain and suffering get while the getting is good.

Re: Rational suicide:

polksaladallie — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:41:37 GMT

Would you like to have the right to do as Beverley did ??

We all have that right already.

Re: Rational suicide:

catsnknots — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:43:01 GMT

Yep.. I agree with her 100%

At what point do you stay alive just because you can't die.. your life is not fulfilling and you are older and want to go to sleep forever... all your friends have passed, you wake up in pain or struggle to just get through the day... you get lonely... no visitors and you can't get out and drive anymore so are housebound...

I am just lucky that I am happy to be alone and isolated... when I get older that won't be a problem for me... but the deterioration in my health will worry me.

Re: Rational suicide:

twinkles**stars — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:54:15 GMT

would rational euthanasia not be more suitable than suicide?

Re: Rational suicide:

bright.ton42 — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:06:04 GMT

OMG I knew her. We shared a love of dogs and we met that way, and 'while not close

friends enjoyed a casua lbut pleasant friendship, then lost touch. She was a highly intelligent

woman, an activist in many ways, had published academic books, and had a vital

mind.

I remember her telling me years ago (she was a lot older than me) that when she thought

it fit she would end her own life, and was adamant about it, and the way she told me and so calmly it made sense.

I am so sad reading of this as I remember the good times, and the laughs, but have no problem with what she's done and would like to think when the time comes I would have the courage

to do it too.

RIP Beverley and

little Lucy (an old dog she had who we all loved)

Re: Rational suicide:

cherry*135 — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:45:57 GMT

How would posters feel if it was their Mother (that they loved) who decided to do this at 80+ years

I wouldn't want my mother to do this.

Re: Rational suicide:

twinkles**stars — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:54:10 GMT

How would posters feel if it was their Mother (that they loved) who decided to do this at 80+ years

I wouldn't want my mother to do this.

as my mother passed away at 62 in a great deal of pain and looking no longer like the mother I knew, I can't say. But should she have been fortunate to have reached 80+ I would have supported her wishes.

Re: Rational suicide:

grandmoon — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:58:18 GMT

How would posters feel if it was their Mother (that they loved) who decided to do this at 80+ years

I wouldn't want my mother to do this.

My mother dies at 91 with dementia not knowing who she was or where she was.

If she had been able to make the decision to take her life earlier I would of supported her as I loved her that much.

Re: Rational suicide:

at_wicks_end — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:06:07 GMT

I have not read the link, but...

my grandfather essentially took his life nearly 2 years ago.

he was in hospital for a fractured hip. He had numerous physical ailments that truly affected his life. He lived with me at the time so I know how sad he was getting about it all.

he developed a problem with swallowing, as well as had always had lung problems following TB a long time ago.

Essentially he was on thickened fluids only. He hated it and hated eating. He was only 45 kegs and was 6 feet tall.

He told me he had enough, wanted no physio, no food, no intervention. So, even though there was no need to die, not his time sort of thing, he had other ideas. I talked and talked to him. He was not depressed, just fed up at 86 yrs old.

Re: Rational suicide:

at_wicks_end — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:13:14 GMT

Hi begged me to leave a can of scotch beside his bed. He had been in hospital 2 weeks and had no alcohol, loved his nightly "tipple."

i talked to the medical team, explained everything. After family meeting with medical staff, we decided pop could have the scotch. Not thickened. The implication was it would go straight to his lungs and essentially he would drown. And die. We explained it to pop, fully. He was happy! So happy. We were not but we understood. I told pop it was his choice, we were not going to make him stay around just for us, it would be selfish. We organised to all be there that evening. He had a little party. He shared that one can around with us, smiling away. He got tipsy very quickly on very little as had been refusing food and fluids, just had a drip in which he would pull out when nurses turned their backs. So, he was driving them nuts as well, lol....

that night he went into a coma and 2 days later he died in his sleep.

at no point did the nursing, medical staff have any part in this, it was a " we don't know what you are doing while we are not looking " situation.

Re: Rational suicide:

the_great_she_elephant — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:20:21 GMT

How would posters feel if it was their Mother (that they loved) who decided to do this at 80+ years

I wouldn't want my mother to do this.

What you or I or anyone else would want is not really the issue here. Mothers are autonomous human beings - they don't have an obligation to order their lives according to the wishes of their adult children.

Re: Rational suicide:

grandmoon — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:26:17 GMT

What you or I or anyone else would want is not really the issue here. Mothers are autonomous human beings - they don't have an obligation to order their lives according to the wishes of their adult children.

Well said Elephant

Re: Rational suicide:

*crikey*mate* — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:49:16 GMT

How would posters feel if it was their Mother (that they loved) who decided to do this at 80+ years

I wouldn't want my mother to do this.

so you would want your mother to hang around, even though she was miserable being here, just to satisfy your own needs and wants?

I'm with Margo! Get out while the going is good. And I don't think that it should be restricted to only the elderly.

There comes a time in some people's lives where they've done all they want to do, have filled their responsibilities such as making sure their kids and partner are settled and established etc. It just gets so exhausting trying to find things to do other than the daily melancholy conundrums of life. How long is a person expected to keep trying to find opportunities to really live? How long is a person expected to find new experiences? and how damn long is a person expected to go on living in a crazy epistemologically mixed up world that they neither like or understand?

Re: Rational suicide:

cherry*135 — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:54:10 GMT

My mother is in her 90's lives in a retirement home, has onset of dementia, failing a little physically now. She doesn't express any desire to leave this world before natural death, so it is not an issue.

Re: Rational suicide:

margomeoz — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:54:18 GMT

How would posters feel if it was their Mother (that they loved) who decided to do this at 80+ years

I wouldn't want my mother to do this.

Posters don't have the right to feel anything it is the life of the mother or father,

childrens turn will come around soon enough then they can decide what they want.

My mum lived to 93, I think the last 10 years of her life were dreadful she got hep C from a blood transfusion and never felt clean again, I did everything possible to make her life as good as it could be, she was not of the opinion that she wanted to die I actually think she was afraid to die, so killing yourself is not for everyone.

Re: Rational suicide:

cat_mioux — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:54:52 GMT

I am a strong advocate of voluntary euthanasia as a choice for people suffering from incurable medical conditions and intractable pain.

But I can't say I'm okay with "rational suicide" where there is no terminal illness or pain. Loneliness isn't a rational reason to kill yourself. Gawd, if it was, a third of the population would top themselves.

Life is precious. We do our best work while on the planet. People get old and there are natural limitations that we all have to deal with as we age. I think it's very sad that Beverley feels she can't make a contribution to the world just because she finds it's difficult to keep fit. There are other ways of being a valued contributor to society. I think some people who prized their physicality in life find it hard to adjust when their body is no longer able to do what it used to do.

The antidote to loneliness is to reach out to others. If your body doesn't work as well as it used to, start exploring your mind and where it can take you.

I've had Fibromyalgia for 10 years. It's a painful condition and nothing can touch the pain. Pain killers don't work for me. I'm in constant pain with some days worse than others. The change of seasons are the worst for me and I'm in so much pain I could cry. The change from summer to autumn has had me at high level pain for the last few weeks.

I don't talk about it. I ignore my condition as much as possible. I never whinge about it and most people don't know I have it. When I come home from work every night my body is screaming at me - shoulders, back, arms and hands and hips. For most people a good nights sleep restores their body. Not those with Fibro. We wake up still feeling the same.

Anyway .. my point is .. there are ways to still lead a happy and productive life.

If Beverley started appreciating the fact she's not in great pain, her mind is still active, she obviously is able to exercise in some way ... she could start to see she has a blessed life, compared to some. Life really is a gift.

Re: Rational suicide:

cherry*135 — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 03:00:02 GMT

The lady in the OP, I presume is single (no children). She also prepared early on by stocking up on the drugs used to kill herself.

If an elderly person is already in a retirement home, no access to drugs, has children... are one or all of the children going to agree to help them end their life early?

Re: Rational suicide:

cherry*135 — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 03:03:04 GMT

Posters don't have the right to feel anything it is the life of the mother or father,

They do actually, if the only way the elderly person can leave this life earlier by rational suicide in most cases (as I said above if they are already in a retirement home, or very incapcitated in their own home when they feel the need to depart the earth early) they will need someone to assist them... their adult children. These adult children may not want to assist the parent... so yes, they do have the right to assist or not.