topic Re: Your Not Fat. in Community Spirit

Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 06:40:14 GMT

WHY DIET.. Love this Japanese Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND......
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Re: Your Not Fat.

lind9650 — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:02:07 GMT

Thanks tommy, that is my kind of lifestyle.

All I have to do, is no speaka de english.

I am a 77 year old fruitcake.

Re: Your Not Fat.

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:23:19 GMT

haha suits me too.

I am a 45 yr old nutcase.

Re: Your Not Fat.

teapartydelights — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:40:56 GMT

Love it. Move to Australia.

Re: Your Not Fat.

imastawka — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:42:52 GMT

@littlegoldens wrote:
Love it. Move to Australia.

Not a chance. Not seen where he lives?

Re: Your Not Fat.

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:53:59 GMT

I think its two people. a couple that live in the UK>

Re: Your Not Fat.

imastawka — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:07:10 GMT

Tommy and Irene. But, I was under the impression that they had moved

from the UK to somewhere warmer, beachy type warmer. Can't remember exactly.

TOMMMEEEEE, a clue.......(cos that helps)

Re: Your Not Fat.

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:07:51 GMT

oh. its been a while since Ive been back around, Ive missed a lot.

but I remember this thread, its been around for ages and I remembered they were a couple.

Re: Your Not Fat.

imastawka — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:17:23 GMT

I've seen this photo before. It was posted on the photo thread.

Is this where you live tommy?

Re: Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:21:22 GMT

@imastawka wrote:
I've seen this photo before. It was posted on the photo thread.
Is this where you live tommy?

Yes this is Gran Canaria in the Canarie Isles.. we have all year sunshine..

Re: Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:23:50 GMT

Re: Your Not Fat.

imastawka — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:25:34 GMT

Wadda ya know!! I was right. You wouldn't leave that for Oz

Re: Your Not Fat.

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:26:21 GMT

omg you look so good for 74!

wow, lots of people wouldnt have made that move at your age 🙂

Re: Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:27:39 GMT

Beach at Playa del Ingles

Re: Your Not Fat.

imastawka — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:29:25 GMT

Darn it!! It looks good. I'm in Melbourne and it's sooo cold right now

Re: Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 08:38:58 GMT

Look at my JOKE thread...

Visiting Irishman From UK

Re: Your Not Fat.

annies_fancy_dress — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 22:48:01 GMT

my first laugh in days, thankyou.

Re: Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:04:51 GMT

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

Re: Your Not Fat.

tommy.irene — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:09:03 GMT

The Thread.. Visiting Irishman From UK.. has been going 5 years and new jokes everyday..

Re: Your Not Fat.

ajarnjenny — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:45:40 GMT

Of course they would. This is where I live, without the ugly buildings