topic Re: 18 year olds living at home! in Community Spirit

18 year olds living at home!

little*cherubs — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:09:10 GMT

Hey Guys!

Its been awhile 🙂

So little Miss J is turning 18 this year and graduated from school at the end of last year. My question is....

Can we still tell them what to do and when to come home, if they can go out etc while they're living under our roof and supporting them?

We've been lucky and haven't had any problems with her so far but just wondering what everyone elses thoughts are on this topic once they supposedly become an adult (her words) lol

She wants to stay out tonight but is sick and I'd rather her stay at home while she's not well but feel bad telling her what to do, she doesn't want to go out clubbing,(she hasn't done that yet thank goodness) just staying over at the bf's house..

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

catsnknots — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:24:15 GMT

She has left school.. she needs to be allowed to doas she pleases so long as it is respectful towards you.

If she wants to go out and she is sick then there is nothing that you can do.. she will learn what happens when she does things like that.

My son is 18 and has just gone to Iceland.. I told him to bring some thermals but he said it will be fine as it starts to warm up this time of year... well he arrived and it was snowing and only 1 degree. He has a warm coat and is doing fine.. Considering he saved up and paid for the trip himself there is not much I can really say other than I love you and I hope I raised you well.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

**meep** — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:27:42 GMT

Hi Cherubs, wow, it has been a while.

I am not quite there yet, my daughter is 15. I think it all comes down to mutual respect. As long as she is not causing you any major inconveniences such as disturbing your peace by coming home late at night for example, I don't think you can stop her from being an adult. I have never believed in the "its my house, do as I say" rule. I have always believed in compromise and as I said earlier, respect. (when it comes to adults living together)

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

joz*garage — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:29:48 GMT

couple of my neices built their own house at that age, shared and are now renting it out while one is back at home with mom the other with her dad.

my sis never allowed her BF to stay over while shes under her roof though.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

little*cherubs — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:40:49 GMT

Thanks everyone, its hard to believe how quick our babies grow up isn't it, it really doesn't seem that long ago that I had her!

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

kengillard — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:57:19 GMT

very difficult cherubs. you can't really stop them...just make sure she's on the pill or equivalent and hope for the best. if it gets too difficult...she should maybe get her own place?

Saying that...there are certain rules that must have been in your house for years...she should respect that and abide by them. if not.....??

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

little*cherubs — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 05:13:59 GMT

Hi Gilli,

She's definitely not ready to move out yet, still very much a mummy's girl! Especially when she sick haha!

She's grown into a beautiful young girl, is studying hard and also working in between. Just met her first boyfriend right before graduation and he seems really nice too. On top of that she's driving now, gosh it all happens so fast, one day she's at school, next she's driving, working, studying and the bf all at the same time!

It must be the same for a few of us, I remember alot of us all had kids around the same age...

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

kengillard — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:12:17 GMT

she sounds like a lovely girl cherubs. have a discussion with her? lay some basic...not too strict rules down and hope for the best lol

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:48:36 GMT

Can we still them them what to do and when to come home, if they can go out etc while they're under our roof and supporting them?

I'm sorry, but why would you come here and ask that? you are the parent, it's your house- how is it up to other people how you parent your child?

- its like people have lost the ability to think for themselves these days.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

toon_town_nutter — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:52:14 GMT

I would explain that it is extremely rude to go visiting others while sick with something that is catching.

Did you have a son who was a singer and dancer? Or am I thinking of someone else?

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

crystal**flake — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:52:36 GMT

Mine are 21 and I still get a say/opinion of what and where they go but like you, mine have been good and I've not had any major problems with them. Its all about respect and mine know if they don't like the rules here (cause there are some) then its properly time to move out.

We do have here...........its our house you need to follow the rules.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

35pinkwishes — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:53:49 GMT

I feel that 18 is too late to be thinking about this.

Decisions like this are a long term one beginning when the children are small with the teaching of boundaries and respect for themselves and the parents.

Your daughter sounds lovely and I am sure you will make the correct moves as relates to your family.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

little*cherubs — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:56:20 GMT

Thanks for the replies everyone, even see we got a hater in the replies, what a good welcome back to ebay, I see some things never change, looks familiar too 😛

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

crystal**flake — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:57:07 GMT

Thats one of our rules, no staying over boyfriends/girlfriends and none staying here.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

little*cherubs — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:58:04 GMT

toon_town yes thats right, he's just signed his first major record label, we spend alot of our time over in the US now.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 07:04:04 GMT

er....a hater? because I asked you a question? really? oooh so harsh

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

**meep** — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 07:14:33 GMT

toon_town yes thats right, he's just signed his first major record label, we spend alot of our time over in the US now.

my daughter and I were just talking about J a couple of weeks ago 🙂

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

froot_loopz — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 07:27:53 GMT

I have an 18 year old, she comes and goes as she pleases, lets me know where she is, when she will be home, if she public transports it, lets me know when she has reached her destination (mainly in the early evenings) and how many I am feeding for dinner that night .

She works, and goes to uni and stays at the boyfriends, and he stays here at times.

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

the_hawk* — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 07:53:13 GMT

When its their house and they are paying the bills then they get to make the rules, until then its your rules

Re: 18 year olds living at home!

kengillard — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 08:10:34 GMT

I 'sort of agree with you hawk. as long as the rules are not too restictive.