topic Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic... in Community Spirit

sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

rhysc123 — Sat, 18 May 2013 10:18:01 GMT

Evening all, I have a question for anyone that has dealt with a family member with secondary bone cancer. Basically my mum 66 years old was diagnosed with Breast cancer under her arm about 2-3 yrs ago which she had surgery to remove the lymphnodes successfully. During this time they picked up she had some sort of slow growing lung cancer which she has not had any real symptoms or issues. However 6 months ago mum starting having probs with her upper leg which the doctors were treating as bursitis until she fractured her upper femur (didnt even fall just twisted the wrong way) while getting out of the shower. Where she was finally diagnosed with secondary bone cancer 3 mths ago. She has increasingly worsened n pain drugs have been increased. We admitted her to hospital again yesterday n have bee advised today that it has spread to her back in ribs. My sister n i are planning on caring for mum along with our dad who is still working n running his own business.

Any advise or experiences that can prepare us all. I am angry, sad, scared n wish this was not happening to us n our kids.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

*crikey*mate* — Sat, 18 May 2013 10:20:14 GMT

No experience, I'm sorry. But I send my best wishes and positive thoughts.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

rhysc123 — Sat, 18 May 2013 11:25:24 GMT

Thank you :-x I just feel quite unprepared but I have always believed that life doesnt throw anything more than it thinks i can handle

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

lyndal1838 — Sat, 18 May 2013 11:33:18 GMT

I suggest having a talk with your mother's doctor...he should be able to tell you where to get help and information.

I believe the Cancer Council can give you information.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

rhysc123 — Sat, 18 May 2013 11:39:22 GMT

I think we plan to talk to pallitive support

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

rhysc123 — Sat, 18 May 2013 11:40:36 GMT

I feel more concerned for my dad n how he wilk cope than myself

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

*new2vintage — Sat, 18 May 2013 16:31:47 GMT

Another new ID with an inappropriate post.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

twinkles**stars — Sat, 18 May 2013 23:13:04 GMT

Another new ID with an inappropriate post.

the member is not new...2004 join date. Inappropriate...in what way?

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

freddie*rooster — Sat, 18 May 2013 23:19:24 GMT

I find the social workers at the Hospital we attended to be amazing, like family, caring supportive and helpful. The Cancer Council can also guide you if further assistance is required. If travel to Hospital, or medical treatment is more then 200k IPTASS (Issolated patient transport assistance support scheme) are there to assist with costs and accommodation. Speak to your Mothers Oncologist, you will find him/her very compassionate and helpful.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

bella_again — Sun, 19 May 2013 01:04:41 GMT

What Freddie said. But also make sure you look after your mental health consider seeing a counsellor to help you work through and process your feelings. They may also be able to help you consider what decisions and supports you would like to put in place.

I'm sorry you as a family are going through this, sending you hugs:-x

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

freddie*rooster — Sun, 19 May 2013 01:57:19 GMT

Oh I forgot about the breast cancer nurses, they are also there to help, there is so much funding gone into breast cancer, don't be embarrassed to utilize any assistance offered.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

i-need-a-martini — Sun, 19 May 2013 02:03:20 GMT

I feel more concerned for my dad n how he wilk cope than myself

That's heartbreaking.

I don't have any information so the only thing I can suggest is that you keep as informed as you can as your parents may not be registering all that is being said to them and are probably feeling very confused.

Fingers crossed for you.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

green.fields — Sun, 19 May 2013 02:19:07 GMT

the member is not new...2004 join date. Inappropriate...in what way?

There was a post posted last night by a whispering person and it was inappropriate, it's gone now.

Do what Lyndal and Freddie said OP. That will be a start.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

twinkles**stars — Sun, 19 May 2013 06:42:11 GMT

thank you that explains it.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

azureline** — Sun, 19 May 2013 07:49:38 GMT

So sorry to hear this. Depending on where you are, make sure dad has mum's POA and Guardianship before she gets too ill, also your local health services may be able to provide some resources and services to assist you. Meals on wheels, home services and equipment.:-x

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

rhysc123 — Sun, 19 May 2013 11:38:22 GMT

Far from new to ebay used to chat on the forums long time ago.

Thanks for yr advice n comments. It did upset me that someone could think that this situation is a story how i wish it was! My mum came out of hospital today for half a day to spend with dad. They are maybe looking at liquid morphine so that she can potentially come out of hospital n spend as much time at home with family. This is crushing me as 2 of my kids are only 7 & 10 n i want them to have a nan for many years to come but i dont think i can have that. It is emotionally harder as i seperated from a 20 year relationship 12 months ago n feel i need my mum mire than ever but have to be strong for her n pretend my life is ok. I have seen a counsellor 2-3 times now n that has been great but this latest prognosis has really changed the future.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

freddie*rooster — Sun, 19 May 2013 11:45:41 GMT

Spend as much time as you possibly can with your Mum, tell her how much you love her, talk about the good time, the fun times you have shared. It's going to be hard for you and your family, but try and be strong for your Mum and Dad. Your Dad, will need your support.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

cherples — Sun, 19 May 2013 12:37:32 GMT

Yes, spend as much time as you can with your mum and let her see the children all she is able to as well.

Re: sorry to crash thread with a sad topic...

rhysc123 — Sun, 26 May 2013 09:44:05 GMT

If it couldnt possibly get any worse my mum has a fracture in her knee where the cancer has spread. They dont know if they can pin it or if unable to just radiate the knee and ribs. She is in good spirits considering she is not allowed out of bed at all until they can address the knee. She is having a MRI tomorrow to establish how bad the fracture actually is.