topic Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke? in Community Spirit

How do you convience someone not to smoke?

softail-joanie — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 10:54:11 GMT

For someone like me, it's hard getting by in this world. Seems like most everyone smokes and thats the one thing that actually causes me great pain to be around. Not to mention great pain when I lose a friend or family to Cancer from it.

I'd love it if my dad would quit smoking, I'm sure it would give me more time before losing him, I can see the signs of maybe losing him soon, like mom.

But the reason for this topic is I was asked out on a date, I'm almost sure this man is going to be a smoker as well. That would be a dealbreaker for sure, but It's nice to think that a guy can be attracted to me and might be fun to do something I've only ever done with one other person, who also smoked back in the mid 90s. I'll have to find a tactfull way to let him know it just couldn't work, Kissing a smoker would certainly have me puking all over him, I get that sick around it.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

j*oono — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 11:00:42 GMT

You can't convince someone to give it up Joanie. They have to be ready to do it for themselves.

By all means, tell them that you are interested in them but simply can't date a smoker because it disagrees with you so much. Possibly they will think about it.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

lyne-flyn — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 11:13:58 GMT

You can't unfortunately. My late husband smoked and even though he had cancer he refused to stop. He had his last cigarette 3 weeks before he died and he only stopped then because he had brain damage from lack of oxygen and forgot that he smoked.

My partner that I have been with for 10 years was a smoker before I met him but has not had a cigarette in 25 years...I told him the day that we met that I would never go out with anyone who smoked.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

iapetus_rocks — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 11:33:28 GMT

My partner that I have been with for 10 years was a smoker before I met him but has not had a cigarette in 25 years...I told him the day that we met that I would never go out with anyone who smoked.

So, you started going out with him 15 years after you first met him?

I'm struggling with the maths here.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

lionrose.7 — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 11:38:08 GMT

My Husband had not had a Cig for 25 years and he died from Lung Cancer

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

the_hawk* — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 12:21:05 GMT

You cant convince someone to give it up unless they have a reason to.

I gave it because I have a cou[ple of crushed disc's in my back that caused so much pain I quit cold turkey one day.

My wife was smoking and that caused me to cough a lot so she was asked to smoke outside.

The effects of smoke around me became worse and the doctor said it was most likely a case of un diagnosed asthma and just the smell of the smoke on her started me coughing so hard I would have to get up and often would through up because of it.

It was put to her to give it up or I would have to move out. She sneaks one in in the morning when she thinks I dont know but I can handle that because it no longer like sleeping in an ash tray.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

lyne-flyn — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 20:16:26 GMT

@iapetus_rocks wrote:
My partner that I have been with for 10 years was a smoker before I met him but has not had a cigarette in 25 years...I told him the day that we met that I would never go out with anyone who smoked.

So, you started going out with him 15 years after you first met him?

I'm struggling with the maths here.

No...he gave up smoking 15 years before I met him...this was mentioned during our first conversation and that was when I said I could never go out with anyone who smoked.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

polksaladallie — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 21:05:31 GMT

You say that it seems like everybody smokes where you are. What is the rate in the US?

In Australia, the rate of daily smokers is down to about 12-13%. This is due to intense advertising, laws, and price increases.

Keep looking, an attractive non-smoker will come along soon.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

dwilke33 — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 21:33:19 GMT

@polksaladallie wrote:
You say that it seems like everybody smokes where you are. What is the rate in the US?

In Australia, the rate of daily smokers is down to about 12-13%. This is due to intense advertising, laws, and price increases.

Keep looking, an attractive non-smoker will come along soon.

Just Googled this and it appears as of 2012 around 18% of Americans still smoke. 20 % men and 15 % women.

I think I also read that about 38 % still smoke in the UK, but that may have been in 2012 also. It has been coming down steadily every year.

The US is probably around the same percentage as Australia now.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

wilk1149 — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 21:43:25 GMT

Those figures are for the total population of those countries. I live in the bush and smoking is more prevalent in rural areas. When I had to go to Melbourne to have stents I went for a walk and it was nearly impossible to not be enveloped in a smoke haze. On that day I would have believed that everyone in Melbourne was a smoker

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

the_bob_delusion — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:10:26 GMT

Start smoking yourself. . You'll give up when they do and if you suffer any problems it's their fault.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

this-one-time-at-bandcamp — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:38:38 GMT

I quit smoking the morning of June 11, 1987................I had a major, major, major heart attack the afternoon of June 11, 1987........

Never had the slightest desire to return to smoking, never had any urges..............But that's not the way I recommend to quit smoking.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

joz*garage — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:47:44 GMT

tell them that it's easy to give up smoking than you think - it's all in the mind

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

the_hawk* — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:52:11 GMT

@this-one-time-at-bandcamp wrote:
I quit smoking the morning of June 11, 1987................I had a major, major, major heart attack the afternoon of June 11, 1987........

Never had the slightest desire to return to smoking, never had any urges..............But that's not the way I recommend to quit smoking.

I have heard that giving up can have risks because it causes your body to stress from the withdrawal effects.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

dwilke33 — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:57:04 GMT

@this-one-time-at-bandcamp wrote:
I quit smoking the morning of June 11, 1987................I had a major, major, major heart attack the afternoon of June 11, 1987........

Never had the slightest desire to return to smoking, never had any urges..............But that's not the way I recommend to quit smoking.

No, not the best circumstances to give up smokng, but I know you are so glad you did. ((hugs))

I only quit about 5 years ago, but like you I just stopped and never had those strong urges to smoke again. My brother and I stopped smoking on the same day....he in California and me in Texas. Apparently the time was just right for both of us and we were smart enough to go for it.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

nicnacs_4u — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 00:08:34 GMT

give them my lungs and see how much I can`t do because of those **bleep** cigarettes!!

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

bright.ton42 — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 00:27:17 GMT

@joz*garage wrote:
tell them that it's easy to give up smoking than you think - it's all in the mind

Have you smoked joz? Have you quit? If you found it easy good for you but I found it hell. It is a full blown addiction which goes beyond just being all in the mind. I've been quit 4 years and will never go back because of how difficult it was to quit.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

polksaladallie — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 00:54:16 GMT

@polksaladallie wrote:
You say that it seems like everybody smokes where you are. What is the rate in the US?

In Australia, the rate of daily smokers is down to about 12-13%. This is due to intense advertising, laws, and price increases.

Keep looking, an attractive non-smoker will come along soon.

Not only that, Joanie, he will be intelligent. That has to be a plus for you.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

softail-joanie — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 01:03:33 GMT

Well, hopefully he don't smoke, and if he does, maybe with a choice between holding onto that nasty habit or a future with the fly one, he might choose the latter. I will not, I repeat will not be with a smoker. I really can't, it would kill me. I gotta say i'm just about ready, I colored my hair today, will be getting it cut and styled tomorrow, got the makeup, perfume if it's warm enough, I'm going in a dress. Thinking instead of painting my short nails, maybe It would be better to try the glue ons and paint them. Finding them for my fingers will be a challenge.

Seems everywhere I look there are people smoking. Chances are this guy does as well. But even if he does, it's only a date, I can set the pace and it might be nice to test the waters in that area. If he isn't a smoker, far as I'm concerned, he is a keeper. They are rare around here.

On a sidenote, smoking is very addictive just as much as any other drug that has been outlawed. Governments make money from the use of it, through taxes, lobying from the tobacco companys, and in less retirement benifits they have to pay out when people die before their time. The only reason they allow it at all. It's hard to quit and I applaud anyone who has done so or is still trying to quit. Every day you go without it is no less than a personal victory and you should be proud of that.

Re: How do you convience someone not to smoke?

polksaladallie — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 01:09:39 GMT

Good luck with your date, Joanie. Let us know how it goes. Not all the details, but some.