Fifty Shades In the Shed

icyfroth — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 05:57:52 GMT

We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed.

One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion.

He said his wife thought that we should read a book called "Fifty Shades of Grey" as we might learn something from it.

Someone thought it would come in handy when re-painting the house.

The chaps were all asked to attend our next meeting with some notes relating to their experience of reading the book and its relevance to our activities.

At the follow-up meeting we had an enthusiastic full house where the blokes recounted the literary impact of the novel. Here are their experiences:

Bill Carruthers, 74

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall.

But in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.
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Nick Enwright, 86
She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”
So I took her to Homebase.
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Ted Roberts, 79
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.
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Tom Entwhistle, 73

Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though.
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Jack Farthing, 78

“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”
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John Hardcastle, 72

“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
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Colin Horrocks, 65

“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”
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Malcolm Riddock, 75

I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.
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Allen Cardly, 74

“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped.
“Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.
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Humphrey Landsdowne, 56

Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got a fat **bleep** and no dress sense.”
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Nicholas Benchley, 53

“Are you sure you want this?” I asked. “When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge furniture on eBay.
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Toby Williams, 60

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

ecar3483 — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 11:36:04 GMT

I want to know what Toby Williams, 60 said... 😉

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

rabbitearbandicoot — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:50:21 GMT

funny, aint it? I write something like this and I get banned for 30 days.

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

janeababe — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 23:05:31 GMT

@rabbitearbandicoot wrote:

funny, aint it? I write something like this and I get banned for 30 days.

we must have the same fan club

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

rabbitearbandicoot — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 23:10:01 GMT

@janeababe wrote:
@rabbitearbandicoot wrote:

funny, aint it? I write something like this and I get banned for 30 days.

we must have the same fan club

Yes, I think so.

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

polksaladallie — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 00:57:12 GMT

@janeababe wrote:
@rabbitearbandicoot wrote:

funny, aint it? I write something like this and I get banned for 30 days.

we must have the same fan club

Perhaps it the fan club of others which is lax.

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

imastawka — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 01:04:13 GMT

Decided on a PM instead

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

rabbitearbandicoot — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 07:21:56 GMT

@imastawka wrote:
Decided on a PM instead

answered your PM.

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

gleee58 — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 09:07:14 GMT

@rabbitearbandicoot wrote:

funny, aint it? I write something like this and I get banned for 30 days.

Join the club. It sounds like we should have had a huge holiday party.

Re: Fifty Shades In the Shed

azureline** — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 09:12:03 GMT

Look at it like this: they are leaving someone else alone........

Holidays seem to be rare at present? but not for some I see?......

I was on a real holiday and lost interest when I got back.........

As for the OP...... I read a sample of the book and found the Shed one at least funny.

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