topic Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment in Community Spirit

Stressed and very upset at the moment

hahahavefun — Sat, 21 May 2016 22:44:17 GMT

I have been living in a unit with my 17 yr old daughter for 9 months ,and 3 months agi had her boyfriend move in ( he is so so quiet that i even have trouble hearing at times when he talks ) when I looked at the unit I was told it can be very noisy due to the kids and I said im fine with that as I have grandkids and has been really great till just recently.
One one side I had neighbours with a new born baby and a 3 old the childrens bedroom right next to my daughters and on the other side a single mum with a 4 and 5 yr olds .
The couple with the 2 youngest kids moved to Sydney about 8 weeks ago and I got a new lady id say early to mid 60's in .
We spoke when she first moved in and I told her im hearing impaired with a moderate to servere hearing loss , that we don't get phone reception inside so have to go outside to make or answer calls .
We also had a discussion about what bedroom she was going to use she was saying she didnt know whether to use the front one or the back one, I said well Jess my daughter has the front one which is adjoining to ger front one and I also stated that being at the front that is the main entry way for my unit and the back unit and its where visitors come in so people will be walking past . She chose the front one .
She came to me a couple of weeks ago complaining of my daughters tv being to loud and when she has a friend over they are to loud , she will accept noise up till 10pm and told me that maybe my daughter and I should swap rooms .
Last weekend one of my nieces come for the weekend as she just found out an aunty on her fathers side has cancer and wanted to get away , she was supposed to ring her mum 8n the Saturday night and forgot so her mum rang her at 10pm and she had to go outside to take the call next the the lady next door comes barging out her front door having ago at me niece telling her how rude she was being on the phone outside her bedroom and to get off the phone and go back inside . Her mum could hear this and said img what is her problem . 2 nights later she was bashing on my front door then my daughters window telling her to turn the TV down .
On Friday i got an email from the real estate about noise complaints and if its not rectified i will get a breach and if it continues i will be asked to leave .
Im very upset in 35 yrs of renting i have never had one complaint against me ever and nor was then any from the previous tennants .
My daughter is loud always has been having grown up in a hearing impaired family and not only her but everyone talks a lot louder because of this but to us its normal 😩
I tell my daughter to please lower her volume and she does really try but she just automatically goes back to normal .
I feel i will be asked to leave eventually because of this 😢 and all because of my deafness .

I have to go see Real Estate but no matter what is said i cant change the fact im deaf nor the fact my daughter speaks or laughs loud or that we have to have the TV up a bit louder which has been the normal way of life for ys .

Sorry for the long post i just needed to get this off my chest . Feeling very stressed and emotional.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

hahahavefun — Sat, 21 May 2016 22:53:55 GMT

One of my friends came over last week just after 5 pm to see me for a minute and the lady next door was taking clothes off her line and she gave my friend a dirty look and shook her head at her 😕 when my friend come in she asked me what her problem was .

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

hahahavefun — Sat, 21 May 2016 23:01:37 GMT

Oh and I do also have a problem now as my daughter is pregnant and due to have a baby in December , how am i going to control a crying baby ??
My lease isnt up till January.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

chameleon54 — Sun, 22 May 2016 00:39:05 GMT

You say you have been in the unit for 9 months. I know it is very stressful finding new accommodation and moving again, but this may be the only way to resolve the problem. If you stay where you are and the neighbour keeps complaining, you may be asked to leave by the agent and have a red flag against your name with the national rental agencies registers that professional agents use.

The first thing I would do is contact the agent to ensure they know about your disability and ask them for assistance. If you have an exemplary record with rent payments and respecting the accommodation, they would not want to lose you as a client. They may be able to find you a detached unit nearby.

It would definitely be worth contacting the major associations in your state that provide services for deaf and hearing impaired people. They may be able to help mediate with your neighbour in the near term and could lobby on your behalf with your local state housing authority in the search for more suitable long term accommodation. Are you accesing rent assistance, available for people with disabilities ? If not the extra money may assist with finding more suitable accomodation.

These organisations are usually very good and could have all sorts of suggestions on ways to assist you, both with your current circumstance and in the future. There are a lot of new technologies available to assist people with disabilities. Things you may not have seen or even be aware of. The societies for deaf people would be able to help with this.

My wife is blind and uses the services of Royal Society for the Blind, State based Guide Dogs and local government services such as transport services etc. With the help of these organisations she is pretty independent. They have been fantastic ( life changing in fact ) and I cant recommend them highly enough.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

fo-trut — Sun, 22 May 2016 00:56:53 GMT

My biggest gripes in this apartment is one- the kids playing in the parking lot (where the cars are parked) I can see them outside my window bouncing balls off the cars, throwing bats, tree branches, ect. up in the air and sometimes they come down on a car. Also they are risking their own safety if a car come in or goes out and don't see them. Two very good reasons they shouldn't be allowed to plat in the apartment's parking lot, but the managment does nothing about it.

two- the guy above me. there tromping and noise walking a knocking noise. That's my celing and it echos through my home, very disturbing.

third and last, and least- Once or twice a month, they come up with new requirements I have to satisfy to qualify to live here. I'm jumping through hoops. The las one was charging for parking and requiring insurance on one's car to park here. That put me in a place of having to decide what I want to do without for the month, clean clothes, shampoo and soap, tiolet paper, two of those things I have to do without. Also, I may as well not even have a car as I don't have the money to put gas in it anymore.

Not as bad as your dilimas, just thought id share and say I understand some of what it must be like in dealing with problems in living arrangments. Here's a youtube channel of a man who lives on the road in a motorhome. This has been somewhat helpfull for me.

https://www.youtube.com/user/nomadicfanatic/videos?sort=da&view=0&flow=grid

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

lind9650 — Sun, 22 May 2016 01:02:35 GMT

I agree, Chameleon. Contacting the relevant organisations could make a great difference.

Hahaha, I asume you are not working, neither is your daughter?

I don't know where you live, but would a move to a small country town solve your problems? In our town there are Housing Commission Houses, modern brick homes and Units. Also there are always a few private houses for rent at very reasonable prices. You may be better of with a house and a bit of garden, than a unit with neighbours sharing a wall.

You can search the Internet Realestate pages in your area for available rental properties.

Erica

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

lind9650 — Sun, 22 May 2016 01:07:36 GMT

fo-trut, is there anything that you don't have to complain abut?

And remember, we are talking about housing and accomodation in AUSTRALIA not the USA.

Erica

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

hahahavefun — Sun, 22 May 2016 01:39:41 GMT

I live in QLD and I do work 5 days a week 6 1/2 hrs a day . Im ok to work as long as my hearing aids keep working otherwise I hear nothing .

I will ring the Deaf Society to see what they sugest and if they can sugest a solution .

As my daughter is due to have ger baby in December and lease is up in January i was planning on moving and getting a house then .

However that doesnt solve my immediate problem of noise and I have already told this lady next door of our problem . This seriously not something that is being done on purpose its our way of life 😢😢

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit — Sun, 22 May 2016 02:05:00 GMT

Sorry to read this, haha..Heres a (hug)

From what youve written, I think youve been more than welcoming and friendly..good on you for explaining your situation to your neighbour from the outset, Im really wondering why this woman is being so reactive. Its not like you and your family are waking her up!

Still, I guess you cant know what shes used to, but her behaviour seems unreasonable to me.

I cant help but wonder if the email from the Real Estate is just to placate her- to be able to say, well, we sent an email to the tenant(you)

As you have been there already for 9 months, and no other tenant had a problem with the level of sound, when you talk to the Real Estate, bring this up. Its never a good idea to be bashing on someones window- who does that? Tell the RE all this, remember you have the history with them- let them know that you are stressed.

There is a reasonable amount of noise that people have to accomodate- this needs to be pointed out to the new woman..maybe shes the one who needs to consider moving rooms.

Good advice here to get some help..I hope you are OK...Take a couple of deep breaths and try(however hard this might be) to focus on other things..some people are just unreasonable, and perhaps unhappy..ignore her if you can.

Edited to add: Congratulations to your daughter

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

Anonymous — Sun, 22 May 2016 02:25:08 GMT

omg your 17 yo is pregnant?

i think you need to rent a house.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

fo-trut — Sun, 22 May 2016 03:12:38 GMT

lind9650 is there anything i post that you don't have to complain about?

And remember, you have the clear choice to not read my replies. In fact, I would prefer it.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

jimmy*part4 — Sun, 22 May 2016 03:34:42 GMT

The sound that travels through walls is the bass. Most can be adjusted, if so, turning the bass down should do the trick.

If not...maybe an external speaker connected to the TV, then placed next to the bed.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

kopenhagen5 — Sun, 22 May 2016 03:50:34 GMT

I would also print out a copy of what you have written here and direct it at the Agent, explaining that you would like them to hear the true story. Then send a copy to the agent.

The agent may eventually work out the older woman could be a trouble maker and side with you.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

hahahavefun — Sun, 22 May 2016 04:06:53 GMT

My daughter being pregnant has nothing to do with this i mearly stated this as there will be a crying baby to add to the noise problem .
Jimmy I wish my daughters voice had a volume button 😕 i could adjust

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

go-tazz — Sun, 22 May 2016 04:48:26 GMT

@kopenhagen5 wrote:

The agent may eventually work out the older woman could be a trouble maker and side with you.

If she is doing this now then she may have done it in the past.

If you see the Agent maybe they could check on her previous behaviour,(from the agent they rented from

previously).

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

imastawka — Sun, 22 May 2016 05:02:38 GMT

What about getting the single mum on the other side to back you up.

Ask her if she can tell the agent that you're not a problem, but the old lady is?

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

amber-eyed-girl — Sun, 22 May 2016 05:14:35 GMT

I agree with youcan.

Write a letter to the agent. If there is a specific person who knows you at the Agency, address it to them.

Highlight you have been a good tenant, and that you spoke with the other tenant early on about your situation.

The agent, then might speak to the lady on your behalf.

Good luck. You don't need the stress and neither does your daughter right now...if your neighbour continues to be like this, you may have no option but to put yourself first and ask the agent for somewhere else. Not ideal, I know...noone should be essentially forced out by someone else.

But take a look at your current place, think about what living arrangements will be with your daughter when the child arrives, and ask her what she might wish to do, also.

How does the father of the child feel? Does he want to live with your daughter, with you, after the baby, or will they want their own place?

So in a way, your daughter's pregnancy is part of things here. Maybe, you will need less space, or more, soon.

How they feel might be an important part of any decision.

I need to go outside to make calls, too. So I understand you need to. Congratulations on the baby and I hope everything works out.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

happyroo_bunji — Sun, 22 May 2016 05:49:29 GMT

Get your daughter to buy a set of wireless headphones to watch her tv, I know you shouldn't have to, but for under $50 it would be worth it.

I am partially deaf, but certain tones and pitches of sound go through me like fingernails on a blackboard, so what sounds ok to you and your daughter could be extremely annoying to others.

Another thing and I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet (apologies if it has) you are planning to move at the end of this year, talk to the RE agent and see if you can end your lease early without any costs to you. They might be willing, its worth a try.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

hahahavefun — Sun, 22 May 2016 06:17:25 GMT

My daughter and her boyfriend are happy for us to get a 3 bedroom house once the lease is up , i said i will stay as long as it takes to see that they can cope and they are ok to go it alone . My daughter is brilliant with babies and kids . She has a disable sister who is 35 on her fathers side who has the mentality of a 3 yr old and my daughter handles this extremely well and has been an aunty since the age of 7 . ( I had a big break between the last 2 kids )

The single mum moved out shortly after this new lady moved in to get a house for her 2 kids.

Re: Stressed and very upset at the moment

icyfroth — Sun, 22 May 2016 06:31:21 GMT

Wait till your daughter has the baby. Then she can get a single mother's pension and apply for housing in her own right.

Then the boyfriend can move in with her.

Is he on a Newstart allowance? If yes they should have no problems making ends meet.

Then you can enjoy your unit and have peace with the neighbours and go and babysit your grandchild over at your daughter's place.