topic Re: Suicide in Community Spirit

Suicide

martinw-48 — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 17:58:07 GMT

Why is it so bad?
Is it just that misery loves company.
That no one should have an easy out.
That you must suffer with the rest of us.
I actually benifited from suicide.
If my father hadn't killed himself I'd have had to kill him.
I couldn't live any longer under his control.
What is it with people that you must suffer from the same things that they hate.
I have been whinged at for years for not having gotten married and having children.
Even by total strangers.
The exception is that some men tell me that I'm extremely smart.
That they wished that they'd never married and they can be either still married or divorced.
I actually understand why people kill themselves.
Why constantly suffer just because someone else who hasn't ever been able to make your life better get to keep you suffering.
They always claim that they could of helped but how do they really know.
It could be that those who claim that they could have helped make the departed life better were the very one's that the departed wanted to get away from.

Re: Suicide

kopenhagen5 — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 22:43:19 GMT

Why is it so bad?

Because it hurts so many innocent people even if the actor doesn't think so.

Often it is a frame of mind with a sunnier frame of mind only around the corner.

However it is different for everyone and can be very complicated.

(posted to stay within guidelines - https://www.lifeline.org.au/ .........https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention)

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 22:55:33 GMT

Death happens to everyone.
If nobody died I could understand but to say that someone can't kill themselves because it affects those around them.
Then no one should drink alcohol.
No one should speak their minds.
I cause constant grief for my family just by speaking my mind.
So the selfishness of people means that someone can't be selfish in killing themself.
Sounds like hypocrisy to me.
I have decided not to kill myself because my sister will be negatively affected but if she didn't exist I'd have done it years ago.
My life has been constant suffering except for five years.
I'm fifty two.
I'm sick of it.
No one has the right to extend my torture

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 22:58:19 GMT

I can't even walk down the street without being abused because I have hair on my head.
Why do people think that what others do has anything to do with them.
I don't give a flying **bleep** what others do.
I'm obviously mental

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 23:11:36 GMT

I forgot.
We're not allowed to talk about anything serious.
I look forward to this thread being exterminated

Re: Suicide

freddie*rooster — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 23:23:17 GMT

Martin, could you explain what you mean by being abused

because you have hair on your head please? Is your sister

older or younger than you?

Re: Suicide

springyzone — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 23:45:22 GMT

I have been debating whether to answer this thread, today of all days.

My brother in law committed suicide overnight. Hanged himself.

You ask-Is it bad? It affects all of the living, it is an absolutely horrible last memory to have of a person, that it came to this. It will be very hard for his children and very hard for his wife, who found him.

It is sad anyone has to feel such a depth of depression that it comes to this.

Do I think it is always bad? My brother in law was suffering from Parkinson's Disease. He could barely move, was having trouble speaking, could no longer take himself to the toilet. His wife is developing dementia and he was getting worse. So I think sometimes circumstances can just overwhelm people with despair. I understand that.

But I think, Martin, that what you need to look at with suicide is not what you have lost but what you have left. In your case, although you have health issues, you are able to walk down the street, you are able to browse the internet, sit in the sunshine. You have the love of a mother and sister.

There are some bad things in the world but there's a lot of good too.

Depression is real, but although you had a bad experience with one psychologist, it may be worth seeking some help elsewhere, there are some medications that might help.

Everyone does die eventually, but for most people there is no reason to bring it on early. In the meantime, I am hoping you can get some joy out of life.

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 00:09:52 GMT

I have the guilt of a mother not the love.
She feels guilty and apologies frequently for my life.
As a child she never hugged me once.
She often claims that my childhood wasn't that bad which begs the question of why she bothers to apologise at all.
She gets embarrassed when I talk about my childhood.
She has done horrible things to me and my sister.
She even hit me with a spade once and then proceeded to kick the **bleep** out of me.
Is that the love of a mother

Re: Suicide

bright.ton42 — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 00:41:20 GMT

@martinw-48 wrote:
I forgot.
We're not allowed to talk about anything serious.
I look forward to this thread being exterminated

I certainly do hope we are allowed to talk about such things and i actually have often felt that suicide could be discussed more as it is so often swept under the carpet.so thanks for starting this thread martin, it is courageous of you.

As Kopes says it is very complicated and difficult for people who don't know you to comment helpfully. My father took his own life but he was very ill , and depressed. Depression is indeed an illness in itself and one suffers greatly from it, but i feel that if my dad had sought professional help he may have overcome it.

But it was his life and his choice what to do with it.

Having said that i know of many who have overcome depression and suicidal thoughts with help, and

gone on to live a much brighter and hopeful life . Imo it is worth fighting for that.

Re: Suicide

the_great_she_elephant — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 02:06:16 GMT

Martin, I can't even begin to imagne the horrors that have led you to be in the mind space you are in today.

There are no easy answers, haters will always hate, abusers will abuse and often there is no redress.

But here, in this moment and on this forum, you are safe and amomg friends.

We hear you, we care about you, none of us wil ever want to hurt you and if we were with you in person we would have our arms around you.

That's not much to hang onto, I know, but please hang onto it anyway and hold it close to you when things are darkest.

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 02:59:06 GMT

Freddie, sorry I missed your comment.
My sister is younger.
I have people scream at me as I walk down the footpath from their cars to get a haircut with expletives thrown in for dramatic effect.
Then there's the smart **bleep**s that do it without the abuse but from the position of judgement.
I have people walk up to me in the street and tell me that they thought I am a woman or ask if I can't get a haircut because the barber is booked out.
I used to have short hair but had to wear beanies in winter even when sleeping and they make me itch and I lose them.
Before the short hair I had long hair and remembered that it made me hot in summer when I lived in Adelaide so I grew it again to keep me warm.
Of course there's many women that love my hair and are very jealous because it's naturally curly and highlighted.

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 02:59:36 GMT

Thanks again for your kind words great she elephant

Re: Suicide

joz*garage — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:05:51 GMT

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-05/wa-voluntary-euthanasia-law-passes-upper-house-vote/11771302

that's a step forward (at least)

Re: Suicide

joz*garage — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:16:55 GMT

Yep, No love or affection, No unconditional love from your parents.. that in itself is abuse & is a huge soul killer & gives a person a lousy start in life

I was suicidal untill i did rehab and a meditation camp, i don't think i had a passing suicidal thought ever since, huge turn around

But i sure do understand where you're coming from

Re: Suicide

the_great_she_elephant — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:18:28 GMT

It ws then retruned to the Lower House where it was passed into law, Joe; but it will apparently be another 18 months before it comes into effect.

Re: Suicide

joz*garage — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:26:10 GMT

A long time mate did himself in, Wouldn't listen to me about getting off these experimental medications and get professional therapy instead

I cried

Why did i cry? probably for selfish reasons, i felt more alone (one less fishing buddy)

Re: Suicide

not_for_sale — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:44:08 GMT

"My life has been constant suffering except for five years".

Can I ask about the five years Martin, if it's not too personal?

Re: Suicide

martinw-48 — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 03:55:23 GMT

The five years was when I worked for the State Transport Authority in Adelaide on the Glenelg Tram.
I had secure employment that was a livable wage.
It was my fault it ended because I blew the whistle on the union as they were bullying us into a new work agreement.
I worked for Westpac prior for a third of the money and I absolutely loathed the work and the people I worked with.
Since the Trams I've had casual employment and most have stolen wages and not paid superannuation

Re: Suicide

zanadoo_56 — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 04:08:04 GMT

I have a friend who suffes from depression....and I worry like hell about her, especially when she posts sad messages.

But I'm also not a person with much understanding of depression nor a desire to end my life so I never know what to say to her. I don't know what to say to you either, except that I have a streak of optimism that maybe the next day or week or whatever might be worth NOT making any hasty decisions.

As for the comments about your hair....stuff them. I get comments about my weight all the time. That fact that it is down to various illnesses means nothing (or isn't believed) by a (mostly younger) public who see 'fat shaming' as a game and perfectly acceptable, is something I've got used to....and it's now water off a duck's back.

People who make public comments about strangers are frankly to be pitied if that's all they can do to make themselves feel better. I don't have kids either, and never wanted any - you should hear what people say to me about that! So what? Not everyone is a parent....or in my case is prepared to put in the effort to try to be a good one.

I live with physical pain every day and I'm losing mobility but my mind is still sharp so I'm not giving up. A cure might be just around the corner....but if it isn't, oh well, that's the luck of the draw. No one lives forever but I intend to try to stay alert and alive no matter how much this tedious body is failing me.

I don't think you should give up either. There's lots of us on this forum that reads your posts, and on so many topics it is often yours that is a very different point of view. I just wish I had the answers for you and for my friend.

Re: Suicide

not_for_sale — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 04:23:52 GMT

@martinw-48 wrote:
The five years was when I worked for the State Transport Authority in Adelaide on the Glenelg Tram.
I had secure employment that was a livable wage.
It was my fault it ended because I blew the whistle on the union as they were bullying us into a new work agreement.
I worked for Westpac prior for a third of the money and I absolutely loathed the work and the people I worked with.
Since the Trams I've had casual employment and most have stolen wages and not paid superannuation

Given that you have experienced such difficult times, you must have been very self-disciplined and committed to pay off your mortgage and remain as independent as you are. You sound pretty strong to me.