https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/195413#M70091 <P class="mce-p">https://www.facebook.com/autismdiscussionpage</P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"> </P><BR /> <P class="mce-p"><STRONG>Autism “explains” behavior, but does not “excuse” behavior!</STRONG><BR /> <BR /> Many of the past posts have focused on understanding, accepting, and validating the child, before attempting to change their behavior. One of the basic premises of this page is “assume the children is doing the best that they can, given the situation they are in, and their current skills to deal with the demands.” Consequently, when the child is struggling, we need to lower the demands to better match their skill level, and/or provide greater assistance to support their performance. Hence, when things go wrong, we often have placed the child in situations for which they cannot handle. We need to take responsibility for overwhelming them. <BR /> <BR /> Now, in this premise, where does the responsibility lie with the child? Autism presents many challenges (sensory issues, information processing, emotional dysregulation, social relating issues, etc.) that overwhelms the child, and explains “why” they may melt down and act out. However, autism must not “excuse” the behavior. Of course, when the child is overwhelmed and disorganized, we need to recognize, understand, and validate how he is “feeling”, but not necessarily accept how he is “behaving.” All children need boundaries, rules, and expectations. We must communicate understanding when upset, but not accept physically attacking others, destroying property, and serious self injury. Autism is not an ‘excuse” for aggression. The child needs to learn that there are a variety of ways that they can express frustration (even screaming, hitting a pillow, etc.), but attacking others or breaking property are not acceptable. <BR /> <BR /> We as the supportive adults need to ask “how do I want the child to express frustration?” Working with the child, identify a couple of ways (coping skills) for the child to appropriately express their anger and frustration (using their words, physical exercise, ask for help, engage in regulating patterns- rocking, jumping, etc.). From there we need to help the child practice these alternatives so they can adequately express their anger. However, we also must establish strong expectations of no aggression, and have appropriate consequences, including making amends, for aggression. Boundaries and expectations need to be very clear, with consistent consequences, so they are concrete and easy to understand. The child needs strong, black and white rules and expectations to make sense of the world, and understand what is acceptable and what is not allowed. Just like we need to understand and respect them, they also need to learn to respect others. <BR /> <BR /> Strong boundaries, with clear expectations, and consistent consequences, implemented in a posture of understanding, acceptance, and validation allows us to respect the child, while changing their behavior. By focusing on teaching, practicing, and heavily reinforcing the positive alternative behavior, natural consequences for unacceptable acting out can be effective. However, before dealing with the behavior, acknowledge and validate the “feelings” underlying the behavior. Implement the consequence without degrading the child, so he views the consequence as the result of his behavior. Make sure the child knows and practices how to react appropriately, and always review what the consequence is before using it. This way, when you implement the consequence, it is understandable and predictable. Every child needs strong boundaries and consequences for his actions. Don’t let the diagnosis excuse the behavior. At the same time, when the outbursts occur, we more than likely placed the child in a situation that they could not handle. We still have the responsibility to re-evaluate the demands, and provide greater assistance and support to decrease the likelihood of the situation occurring again. By doing so, we decrease the frequency of these unacceptable behavior by better matching the demands to the child’s abilities, and teaching the child acceptable ways of dealing with anger and frustration.</P> Sat, 07 Jul 2012 03:19:38 GMT azureline** 2012-07-07T03:19:38Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152362#M58909 <CENTER>A safe place for all members with friends or family with ASD<BR /> <BR /> Come and have a cuppa, share your joys, and vent your problems with other people who understand.</CENTER> Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:29:44 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152362#M58909 doll*obsession 2009-04-02T04:29:44Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152374#M58914 Thanks Dolly <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span> This is still a bit hard to find from the Community link on the My ebay page, but I have bookmarked it now, it shall not escape!<BR /> <BR /> How are you faring in the rain up your way? no flooding here but apparently the Sunshine Coast is copping it.<BR /> <BR /> cheers<BR /> Rae Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:36:58 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152374#M58914 islandretro 2009-04-02T04:36:58Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152395#M58921 Yippee!!! I found it. <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span><BR /> <BR /> I was worried there for a while - I couldn't find the new board.<BR /> <BR /> will bookmark it so I don't get lost again. Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:39:22 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152395#M58921 krazy.kiwi 2009-04-02T04:39:22Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152416#M58929 Hi Dolly:-x, Kiwi and Rae <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span><BR /> <BR /> Hope you are all having a fab day!!! I treated myself to a haircut and lunch out today. It was nice having some respite! OH looked after the girls bless his sweet cottin pickin heart rofl:^O Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:04:37 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152416#M58929 bella_again 2009-04-02T05:04:37Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152432#M58934 i found us, yay....<BR /> <BR /> now, how do i make my pic my little blackboard thing, i see everyone else has sone it, so why cant i work it out..lol:-D Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:23:24 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152432#M58934 mizspeller 2009-04-02T05:23:24Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152447#M58938 ok finding it a bit confusing, but i will perservere Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:24:23 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152447#M58938 mizspeller 2009-04-02T05:24:23Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152460#M58943 &gt; now, how do i make my pic my little blackboard thing, i see everyone else has sone it, so why cant i work it out..lol:-D<BR /> <BR /> <BR /> You need to click on your user Id to go to your "My World" page.<BR /> <BR /> Then click uner the red head picture where it says "edit picture" - that will lead you to your choices available. Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:37:38 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152460#M58943 krazy.kiwi 2009-04-02T05:37:38Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152476#M58948 i did that, and i treid to put something on from my computer, but it isnt up there, so have i done something wrong? <BR /> <BR /> i dont want a generic one if i dont have too. Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:44:14 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152476#M58948 mizspeller 2009-04-02T05:44:14Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152489#M58953 It will take a while to show up &amp; would e better if it was square, but it will show sometime.<BR /> <BR /> I put mine on ebay a few days ago, that's why it's showing straight away. Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:46:05 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152489#M58953 krazy.kiwi 2009-04-02T05:46:05Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152504#M58958 oh ok, thanks, mine is not square, i would like my blackboard but i dont know how to move it ill play arojun d a little Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:47:14 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152504#M58958 mizspeller 2009-04-02T05:47:14Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152516#M58963 Miz it does take a while, I uploaded mine but it hasn't appeared here yet <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span><BR /> <BR /> Good to see all my favorite CW's here!!! Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:49:51 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152516#M58963 bella_again 2009-04-02T05:49:51Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152532#M58968 ok i think ive done it. will just wait now and see... <BR /> <BR /> now for that tags thing downt he bottom, what do we put there? Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:51:25 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152532#M58968 mizspeller 2009-04-02T05:51:25Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152540#M58972 does this work Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:53:07 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152540#M58972 mizspeller 2009-04-02T05:53:07Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152551#M58977 <I>Good to see all my favorite CW's here!!!</I><BR /> <BR /> Good to see you too chit-chat, I just need to get used to the new ID. :^O:^O Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:57:44 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152551#M58977 krazy.kiwi 2009-04-02T05:57:44Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152560#M58981 ok.....Im here too<BR /> <BR /> Its good to see you all. <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span> Thu, 02 Apr 2009 06:02:27 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152560#M58981 aphroditebathandbody 2009-04-02T06:02:27Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152573#M58987 ROFL Kiwi<BR /> <BR /> I couldn't think of anything else lol<BR /> <BR /> Since I love cafes and coffee what can I say? the corny one did for me lol<BR /> <BR /> There was always love_bug but that sounded scary lol Thu, 02 Apr 2009 06:06:44 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152573#M58987 bella_again 2009-04-02T06:06:44Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152583#M58992 Hello everyone<BR /> <BR /> Just want to mention a show on the health chanel on pay tv tonight. AUTISM x6<BR /> <BR /> It's our international day today :-x Thu, 02 Apr 2009 06:06:49 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152583#M58992 night.wol 2009-04-02T06:06:49Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152588#M58994 Is it possible to go back and see previous posts....Im having trouble finding how to. Thu, 02 Apr 2009 07:12:18 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152588#M58994 aphroditebathandbody 2009-04-02T07:12:18Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152596#M58998 Click on the page number on the bottom right I think. Thu, 02 Apr 2009 07:15:38 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152596#M58998 krazy.kiwi 2009-04-02T07:15:38Z https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152607#M59003 Yep that did it.....thanks Krazy. Kiwi <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":slightly_smiling_face:">🙂</span> Thu, 02 Apr 2009 07:19:34 GMT https://community.ebay.com.au/t5/Community-Spirit/AUTISM-ASPERGERS-SUPPORT-GROUP/m-p/152607#M59003 aphroditebathandbody 2009-04-02T07:19:34Z