topic Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour in Community Spirit

A bit Of Toilet Humour

the_great_she_elephant — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 02:48:13 GMT

A bit of toilet humour to cheer you all up. I wrote this in response to a prank photo that circulated showing empty shelves in Busselton Library .

The Literary Dunny

You’ve heard no doubt, the news about

The current bog roll panic,

With fights in shops and calls to cops

And bogans going manic.

Me old mate, Blue, was in a stew

He didn’t find it funny,

That all around no shop he found

With bogroll for his dunny.

He sat alone upon the ‘throne’

In silent desperation,

But then at last there came a blast -

A flash of inspiration.

“Well b*gger me,” he cried with glee

“I’ll fix those theivin’ crooks.

To wipe me crack I’ll just change tack –

And get meself some books.’

With footsteps light at dead of night

He hit the town library,

And helped himself off every shelf

With speed extraordinary.

Then home he crept while others slept

Triumphant and quite blasé

And quickly took each stolen book

And stashed them in the khazi

“And now” he said “they’ll all be read

By me, when on the loo

And when I’m done, to clean me bum

I’ll use a page or two.

I’ve books that that tease and books that please,

And books would shock a parson

But, stone the crows, who sees or knows

Which words I wipe me a**e on?

The library’s shock to find their stock

So cruelly depleted

Was plain to all – as was their call

That justice out be meted.

The South West Times deplored the crimes,

And called for retribution

But sly old Blue had left no clue,

So dodged a prosecution

The only bloke in on the joke

Is me – and there’s no money

Could tempt me to dob in Old Blue

And his literary dunny.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

twyngwyn — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 02:51:44 GMT

Fantastic 🙂

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

flashie* — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 03:43:10 GMT

Love it..brilliant as always TGSE.

Can we share it................giving you credit as author of course.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

domino-710 — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 03:56:22 GMT

Yes - it is so good.

Would ask permission to share - but anyone other than Aussie - wouldn't have a clue. lol

A Brit - yes - US - oh brother.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

domino-710 — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 03:58:10 GMT

TGSE - the title could have reflected a liitle more - bog - dunny - humour.

But not complaining - a good read.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

icyfroth — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 04:08:08 GMT

@the_great_she_elephant wrote:
A bit of toilet humour to cheer you all up. I wrote this in response to a prank photo that circulated showing empty shelves in Busselton Library .

The Literary Dunny

You’ve heard no doubt, the news about
The current bog roll panic,
With fights in shops and calls to cops
And bogans going manic.
Me old mate, Blue, was in a stew
He didn’t find it funny,
That all around no shop he found
With bogroll for his dunny.

He sat alone upon the ‘throne’
In silent desperation,
But then at last there came a blast -
A flash of inspiration.
“Well b*gger me,” he cried with glee
“I’ll fix those theivin’ crooks.
To wipe me crack I’ll just change tack –
And get meself some books.’

With footsteps light at dead of night
He hit the town library,
And helped himself off every shelf
With speed extraordinary.
Then home he crept while others slept
Triumphant and quite blasé
And quickly took each stolen book
And stashed them in the khazi

“And now” he said “they’ll all be read
By me, when on the loo
And when I’m done, to clean me bum
I’ll use a page or two.
I’ve books that that tease and books that please,
And books would shock a parson
But, stone the crows, who sees or knows
Which words I wipe me a**e on?

The library’s shock to find their stock
So cruelly depleted
Was plain to all – as was their call
That justice out be meted.
The South West Times deplored the crimes,
And called for retribution
But sly old Blue had left no clue,
So dodged a prosecution

The only bloke in on the joke
Is me – and there’s no money
Could tempt me to dob in Old Blue
And his literary dunny.

brilliant!

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

joz*garage — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 04:14:04 GMT

@flashie* wrote:
Love it..brilliant as always TGSE.

Can we share it................giving you credit as author of course.

You're kidding

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

icyfroth — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 04:17:57 GMT

@joz*garage wrote:
@flashie* wrote:
Love it..brilliant as always TGSE.

Can we share it................giving you credit as author of course.
You're kidding

grrrr....

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

the_great_she_elephant — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 04:39:20 GMT

@flashie* wrote:
Love it..brilliant as always TGSE.

Can we share it................giving you credit as author of course.

Be my guest. Humour is meant to be shared - and at a time like this we need all the humur we can get.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

flashie* — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 05:57:42 GMT

Joz and Icy............what are you grumbling about?

It is only common curtesy to ask first.

I shared it with my family on Facebook..........they loved it.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

snow*jewel — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 06:08:58 GMT

I don't believe Icy was grumbling.

From what I read she liked the poem.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

martinw-48 — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 09:07:26 GMT

https://youtu.be/ia0bfWbOLjY

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

paper-jack — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 21:31:00 GMT

I came into Community Spirit specifically to share same brilliant link.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

bright.ton42 — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 21:38:09 GMT

Well done she el.

And that link is hilarious.

We need the laughs.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

martinw-48 — Tue, 17 Mar 2020 00:17:17 GMT

It's absolutely mad
That nothing can be had
With the supermarket shelves bare
All one can do is ponder and stare
Then return home with your money
For it's worryingly anything but funny

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

twyngwyn — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 00:18:01 GMT

Do not watch if offended by the f bomb

George Carlin - fear of germs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnmMNdiCz_s

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

imastawka — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 02:18:56 GMT

So much for George's fear of germs.

He's dead.

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

twyngwyn — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 02:26:21 GMT

heart attack

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

imastawka — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 02:38:46 GMT

Dead is dead.

Mebbe germs caused the heart attack?

Funny guy though

Re: A bit Of Toilet Humour

the_great_she_elephant — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 03:47:25 GMT

More words of wisdom from Old Blue.

Old Blue’s Coronavirus Cure.

I met me mate, Old Blue, today. He said “I’m pretty sure,

I’ve stumbled on the ultimate Coronavirus cure.

Hearing the dire predictions of the medical advisers

I went and bought meself a heap of them there sanitisers.

I lined ‘em up in one long row upon the kitchen table,

And checked out the ingredients on every flamin label

And that was when it came to me – a flash of revelation

I’d found a simple answer to this dire situation

For never mind the iso-glyco-etha-bloody-nol

Every single one of them was based on alcohol

It’s plain therefore this virus, thing don’t care about your skin,

An unprotected gut is what will let the bugger in.

So if you want to save your health and keep your system clear

Forget the sanitiser, mate - just have another beer.”