topic Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat in Buying

Being judged, repeat, repeat

buyingandsellingmandy — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 06:51:25 GMT

I was a newcomer to this site and I came for help. Some of you were very respectful, helpful, investigated a few things for me.

But, there were alot of people that were critical of me in so many different ways.

I had come to this site for help, that's all I wanted, help to prove I had paid for an item.

Some of you were down right mean.

More than not, alot of people were very critical over and over again. If I made a mistake, then I got criticised for that. I want all of you to read all my responses to my very first question on this sight.

If a person comes to this site for help, be respectful from the very beginning. They need yr help, not anything else.

One person i nearly reported.

I was constantly being bombarded about anything I had to say, in the end, that wasn't the help I needed. I don't know how old some of these people were, but to me, it's not funny when u need help to be criticised all the time.

If I had not won my case, I would of left ebay for another site. To the person who was so rude from day one, you need a lesson in how to talk to females. Coz yr really bad at it.

For a person to have this sort of experience, very first time, your getting a bad reputation.

I showed alot of people your responses, friends of mine, people in the street, random people I didn't know, just wanted to see what other people I didn't know thought.

Only the people that were helpful got a mention. Others that were critical, well, your site is getting a bad reputation, because of you're responses.

You can say, now I'm being critical, yes I am, coz if I don't tell you, someone else will eventually.

I think age might have something to do with it. Some of you sound like teenagers.

A little respect goes a long way in this life.

Most people I spoke to said, I'm never going on there to get help. I said, are you sure u wouldn't if u were desperate like I was for people's help? Response, not in a million years was a common answer.

All I asked of each person was, can u read this, tell me what u think, nothing more.

How many people did I ask? All the people that live in my court, parents, teenagers alike, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. Then I went to my town shops, I know most shop owners, local people. Same reaction.

If this makes u all angry, well, it hasn't sunk in yet, the reality of it all.

To those that helped me, a big thank you, it was very rare, but, I did notice you.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

lynsh84 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 09:24:34 GMT

Do you feel better now?

I am not sure what you hope to achieve with your rant, but I suspect you will not get the desired effect.

As to the ages of the responders here, they vary from quite young to members in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and even 80s.....and most of them tell it like it is.

If you do not like the truth then you will not have an easy time of it on the boards.....and a complaint like this will not go down very well with the regular responders.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

padi*0409 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 09:35:26 GMT

You said most of that at the end of last year - and it's still getting to you ????

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

davewil1964 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 09:54:50 GMT

It doesn't make me angry, but it seems to have made you angry. All I can suggest is that you monitor your blood pressure. High blood pressure (especially due to repressed rage) can damage your heart or cause a stroke.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

sugar249 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 10:21:24 GMT

I have just read the thread from last year,

You were given some excellent advise, but you seemed to ignore it, or not want to listen to what was said.

Did you really go up to strangers and as many people as you say with the transcript of last years thread, if so I think you may be the one that we should be asking are you ok.

Just by you posting this rant shows a concern to me.

You said on many occasions in last years rant that you are leaving Ebay. You are still buying and selling on Ebay, I am confused. Why are you here?

Ok now I will be accused of being unstable or something, but as someone not in last years rant, I can take an objective view,

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

lynsh84 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 10:36:39 GMT

I have just spent an hour reading last year's thread from go to whoa.....why on earth would you want to drag that debacle up again?

There was never any need for you to get so upset that ebay said you had not paid.....you got the item and it was obvious that the seller just wanted to exploit the fact that you did not pay by a verifiable payment method to get his fees back.

Just give it a rest before members here have cause to question why you would even want to drag up that old thread.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

sugar249 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 11:40:01 GMT

@lynsh84 wrote:
..why on earth would you want to drag that debacle up again?

I think that is very obvious,

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

zanadoo_56 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 11:45:21 GMT

The first question I ever posted on eBay got some very nasty responses, some astonishing (and inaccurate) claims about me.....and not much help.

Since then things have improved but you will soon recognise the regulars who post nasty messages....and learn to shrug and ignore them. Don't forget - there are also regulars that are helpful.

Don't dwell on that first post - it's over and done with and now you know what to expect from some posters.

I will say this, sometimes even the helpful advice can be interpreted as a bit mean. Apparently everyone else knows everything about eBay the minute they sign up...except the person who asked the question. I guess it doesn't occur to some of them that to find the right info on eBay you need to frame the question correctly.....which can be a bit hit and miss....let alone grasp where you went wrong to need to seek advice. Another thing - if the advice is good, follow it! It might not be the response you wanted but sometimes that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Seriously, forget the past responses and let it go. Do not dwell on it and post comments - that only feeds the trolls and can also earn the ire of those who are genuinely helpful.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

gutterpunkz05 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 11:49:23 GMT

Good Lord, Somebody sat on my cat.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

*sons_and_daughters* — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 11:56:08 GMT

@sugar249 wrote:

Ok now I will be accused of being unstable or something, but as someone not in last years rant, I can take an objective view,

No, you'll probably be accused of being an ebay employee. That appears to be the standard response from someone who didn't like the answer they were given. I have seen it so often when I was reading lots of posts before I started posting.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

sugar249 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 12:04:26 GMT

@*sons_and_daughters* wrote:
@sugar249 wrote:

Ok now I will be accused of being unstable or something, but as someone not in last years rant, I can take an objective view,

No, you'll probably be accused of being an ebay employee. That appears to be the standard response from someone who didn't like the answer they were given. I have seen it so often when I was reading lots of posts before I started posting.

LOL, someone already did that today. LOL

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

digital*ghost — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 13:08:01 GMT

No judgement here, but definitely some concern - this seems like a really long time to stew over a conversation / disagreement with strangers on the internet, and / or harbour resentment for all that time, and a lot of effort to go to in order to have ammunition to come back and give the forum a scolding.

If nothing else, I hope this has been cathartic, and you can now move past it - have a much happier future and all that.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

4channel — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:40:34 GMT

@buyingandsellingmandy wrote:
Hi

I was a newcomer to this site and I came for help. Some of you were very respectful, helpful, investigated a few things for me.

But, there were alot of people that were critical of me in so many different ways.

I had come to this site for help, that's all I wanted, help to prove I had paid for an item.

Some of you were down right mean.

More than not, alot of people were very critical over and over again. If I made a mistake, then I got criticised for that. I want all of you to read all my responses to my very first question on this sight.

If a person comes to this site for help, be respectful from the very beginning. They need yr help, not anything else.

One person i nearly reported.

I was constantly being bombarded about anything I had to say, in the end, that wasn't the help I needed. I don't know how old some of these people were, but to me, it's not funny when u need help to be criticised all the time.

If I had not won my case, I would of left ebay for another site. To the person who was so rude from day one, you need a lesson in how to talk to females. Coz yr really bad at it.

For a person to have this sort of experience, very first time, your getting a bad reputation.

I showed alot of people your responses, friends of mine, people in the street, random people I didn't know, just wanted to see what other people I didn't know thought.

Only the people that were helpful got a mention. Others that were critical, well, your site is getting a bad reputation, because of you're responses.

You can say, now I'm being critical, yes I am, coz if I don't tell you, someone else will eventually.

I think age might have something to do with it. Some of you sound like teenagers.

A little respect goes a long way in this life.

Most people I spoke to said, I'm never going on there to get help. I said, are you sure u wouldn't if u were desperate like I was for people's help? Response, not in a million years was a common answer.

All I asked of each person was, can u read this, tell me what u think, nothing more.

How many people did I ask? All the people that live in my court, parents, teenagers alike, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. Then I went to my town shops, I know most shop owners, local people. Same reaction.

If this makes u all angry, well, it hasn't sunk in yet, the reality of it all.

To those that helped me, a big thank you, it was very rare, but, I did notice you.

------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, good on you for posting. All I can say is that you have made some valid points and I am in agreement with some. I'd like to say more but I best keep it brief as free speech sometimes just isn't respected *wink*.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

sugar249 — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 19:50:23 GMT

@4channel wrote:
I'd like to say more but I best keep it brief as free speech sometimes just isn't respected *wink*.

Surprised by this statement, this is one forum where admins rarely butt in and change members views, and both sides of the discussion are allowed. It has never stopped you in the past.

On at least one other forum I am a member of, half of the rubbish you post would be deleted or changed by mod's.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

4channel — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 22:33:11 GMT

.. .. .. ..
@4channel wrote:
I'd like to say more but I best keep it brief as free speech sometimes just isn't respected *wink*.
@sugar249 wrote:

Surprised by this statement, this is one forum where admins rarely butt in and change members views, and both sides of the discussion are allowed. It has never stopped you in the past.

On at least one other forum I am a member of, half of the rubbish you post would be deleted or changed by mod's.

------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry sugar249 but I'm not taking the bait here.

BTW: The OP has a definite right to post their view and should be accorded some respect. I do recall her original post last year and what another female member, m*******b****** (a decent person) had to endure for some years was put on another.

So kudos to the OP!

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

digital*ghost — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 23:30:54 GMT

For heaven's sake...

In my experience, people with something substantial or pertinent to say, usually say it, and if they don't want to say it for a good reason, they don't tend to advertise they have something to say - i.e. if you have to keep trying to convince people you have something worthwhile to say, maybe you just.....don't. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And this whole "freedom of speech isn't respected" thing you keep harping on about is patently ridiculous - what you say being criticised is the furthest thing from disrespect for freedom of speech there is, unless you don't want others to have that freedom as well, which would mean you're the one showing disrespect for said freedom.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

4channel — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 23:44:09 GMT

I saw how the OP was treated. She deserved a lot better. If she didn't follow advice, ok then that's the way it was. But to have a go at her, put downs etc. for personal enjoyment as some do here just wasn't a good look.

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

joztamps — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 23:46:40 GMT

Funny how often people whinging about "freedom of speech" actually mean "my freedom of speech but not yours"

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

digital*ghost — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 00:07:43 GMT

@4channel wrote:
I saw how the OP was treated. She deserved a lot better. If she didn't follow advice, ok then that's the way it was. But to have a go at her, put downs etc. for personal enjoyment as some do here just wasn't a good look.

Did you read the thread from nearly a year ago? That's what this thread is in reference to - the only other post the OP has made. There are members here who are pretty blunt, sure, shoot from the hip and all that, but IMO they are at least straight shooters. You are the one that is assigning "put downs for personal enjoyment" in place of someone just having a mode of ~~speaking~~ writing that you don't like... If someone feels put down by something that has been said, that's a valid feeling for them, but it doesn't automatically mean that's what was intended, or the person who said whatever it was gets enjoyment from someone feeling that way.

Truth be told, it bothers me that your posts often foster ill-feeling towards others under the guise of support - I find that insidious, especially in this thread, and it makes me wonder if there isn't a little projection going on when you say others find enjoyment in putting people down. 😕

Re: Being judged, repeat, repeat

4channel — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 01:46:31 GMT

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that you have written what you have here. I want to say more but I will not take the bait. I know what follows

Please read what the OP has written. It's obvious she feels unfairly treated. Besides myself, there have been numerous mentions of bullying here by certain others. This is a place for people to come for help and advice as well as possibly vent a little about experiences they have had that have affected them. Some people in a certain clique think it's a bit sporty to humiliate. A well-respected member mentioned this recently on another thread on another board within this website.