Jean ... have skirt well below knee. Blouse below elbow. Flat/low heel shoes. Jacket preferably black. Wear panty hose. Make sure your knickers and bra are matching and new (in case you have an accident and an ambulance has to be called). Go easy on make-up ... you want to toe the line between showing respect for the church with a little lipstick, and not looking in any way like a harlot ๐ (even though Jesus defended and befriended one). I think hats are optional now, but, if expected, a modest, dull coloured, medium sized arrangement is preferred.
Have a drink before leaving for the church. Try scrambled eggs with caviar and vodka.
Keep a container of gin with you ... it's best kept in a small bottle that previously contained water or lemonade. Add something that smells to it, like lime.
Cultivate a fake cough. When you cough, sip a little gin. Explain that your doctor told you to drink more fluids.
