Some Saturday Night Funnies.

I stole this from facebook, maybe I am overtired, had too much wine or something but I found it funny. Surely it isn't serious?


 


IDIOT SIGHTING.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING.

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...
IDIOT SIGHTING.

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Bankstown, Sydney.....

IDIOT SIGHTING.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.

IDIOT SIGHTING.

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee in ATO Newcastle NSW AU.

IDIOT SIGHTING.

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

#115 t made me laff :^O

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

now  I  have time to read the other one  

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

somethings missing since I last looked

_________________________________________________________

You can't please all the people all the time, so now I just please myself


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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

only half the men in every town 🙂


 

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

ha ha only every second male in every town....at least 🙂

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

From the OP - There is no airport in Elizabeth SA (unless you count the RAAF base).

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

terra...... the OP is a "copy" of an American one apparently.... as already explained........ jokes are recycled to suit the country.......


This thread is odd.... my avi appears in a couple of places with nothing written or pics shown????


 

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

A woman applying for a job at a lemon orchard in country Queensland seemed to be far too qualified for the job, given her arts and education degrees from Sydney University and her previous experience as a social worker and school teacher.


The foreman frowned and said, “Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”


“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” the woman replied. “I've been divorced three times, owned two Fords, supported Collingwood.

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Re: Some Saturday Night Funnies.

Disclaimer: I have no idea if this is real, I suspect it is made up..... the place, the person...... etc.


 


At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Adelaide, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars.


At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.


Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, “Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!”


The priest responded, “Giuseppe, you are an inspiration to all the husbands here. Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?”


Giuseppe proudly replied, "I gonna go pick her up."

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