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@my*mum wrote:

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@kennedia_nigricans wrote:

the bonding thingy is deemed very important and actually the first minutes/seconds are VERY important. that is why the baby nowadays is given IMMEDIATELY to the mother after birth (or should be if possible).

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so a baby who is born under general anaesthetic c - section, and thus not given that immediate bonding, is somehow disadvantaged?

 

Long term?

 

How?

 

 

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For a few days my middle son was in special care unit.I wasn't well myself,though able to get as far as the toilet....they wouldn't even wheel me up to see him..to see for myself how he was.To touch him.To know  and see for myself and for him to know I was there for him.I hated it then and I still hate it now (and I don't use the word hate lightly) .It is important.

I think the bonding thing IMMEDIATELY at birth is a little overrated. A bit like the breastfeeding thing. Both theories are heing lobbied too hard IMO.

Horse for courses really.

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@kennedia_nigricans wrote:

you are wrong. i can't be bothered to google it for you but it was known more than  5 years ago that it DOES matter (the first few seconds).

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Pardon? Google said, so it's true?

Welcome to the new world.

OP, this is a follow on from a the thread about assylum seeker parents being kept/limited (? Father totally not permitted to see his ill hospitlised new born) from their New born .Their new born baby is being kept in hospital as the baby is weak and has breathing problems.

If so..it is So not the same as missing out on the first skin contact ...

Their child is fighting to get strong enough to live.

I must be a terrible mother, after a quick cuddle with my firstborn I really just wanted someone else to hold him for a bit so I could have a shower and feel half human again.

I've never really given it much thought so had a look what the experts had to say:

For some parents, this takes place within the first few days – or even minutes – of birth. For others, it may take a little longer. In the past, researchers who studied the process thought it was crucial to spend a lot of time with your newborn during his first few days to seal the bond right away.

But now we know that bonding can take place over time. Parents who are separated from their babies soon after delivery for medical reasons or who adopt their children when they're several weeks or months old also develop enormously close, loving relationships.

What if I dont bond straight away?

Breathe easy. Parent-baby bonding is complicated and often takes time to gel. As long as you take care of your baby's basic needs and cuddle with her regularly, she won't suffer if you don't feel a strong bond at first sight.

"There's so much discussion about bonding with a new baby that mothers often feel guilty if they don't feel some incredible attachment to their new baby immediately," says Edward Christophersen, a pediatric psychologist in Kansas City, Missouri. "But bonding is truly an individual experience, and it's just as reasonable to expect the bond to develop over a period of time as it is for it to develop instantaneously."

http://www.babycenter.com/baby-bonding

I was too exhausted to 'bond'.  

I was bonded with mine while they were still in the womb.

I think the research is based on brain studies showing the primal euphoria that mothers (and fathers) feel immediately after the birth.

But much of the research is muddy because brain patterns would naturally go haywire after going through/witnessing something like a birth. Most critics of the bond-at-birth theory suggest spikes on a brain scan graph do not = bonding.