Q: Where was the tooth brush invented?

A: Tasmania. If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teeth brush!

 

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A Tasmanian couple walk out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out. Her ex-husband says, "Oh for gawds sake, stop crying! You're still my sister!"

 

 

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Mae passed away in Hobart and Leonard called 000. The 000 operator told

Leonard that she would send someone right away and asked where he
lived.

 

Leonard replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

 

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

 

After a long pause, Leonard said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak

Street and you pick her up there?"

********************

A Tassie policeman pulls over a pickup truck and says to the driver, "Got
any ID?"

The driver says, " 'Bout what?"

********************

Two Tasmanians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack.When they meet, one says, "Hey Marvin, watcha got in th' bag?"

 

"Jes' some lambs."

 

"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"

 

"Hey, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em."

 

"OK. Ummmmmmmm .... five?"

 

********************

A Tasmanian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, phoned the fire brigade & shouted, "Hurry over here - muh house is on fahr."

 

"OK" replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"

 

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

 

********************

Why do folks in Tasmania go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

 

Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

********************

Billy and Lester, two Tassies, were talking one afternoon when Billy
tells Lester, "Ah know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this
year, I'm gonna do it a little different.

 

The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Sue got pregnant. Two years ago you said go to Fiji and Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Sue didn't get pregnant again".

 

"So" Lester asks Billy, "what you gonna do different?"

 

Billy says, "This year I'm taking Sue with me."

 

********************

Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tasmania to 32?

 

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

********************

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tasmanian State Lottery?

 

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

********************

Why did most murderers want to move to Tasmania?

 

Because everyone has the same DNA.

********************

 

 

Some good ones there that i havent heard.


Nero
You will now be castigated fot taking the p i. S s out of tasmanins !

This is a prime example of Pickering.. not humor at all - a veiled (poor) attempt at his anti-Muslim stance.

 

Dear Tassal,
1 Is it true you have employed a group of halal licensed Muslims from the mainland who are each given a tube of Superglue and a box of fish scales?
2 Is it true that when fish scales are in short supply it’s “halal okay” to use toenail clippings?
3 Is there another group of halal licensed fishmongers further up the production line who then de-scale the salmon?
4 When killing these poor little buggers are they facing Mecca via Asia or via the South Pole?”

 

In one word - pathetic

 

I wouldn't be surprissed if he has never been to Tasmania either. He never knows what he is talking about all of the time.

Looks like he is taking the mickey out of halal.


What is wrong with that.


Hve you ever made a joke bout curry munchers, chinese being the reason for a lack stray of cats and dogs ?

Or australian culinary delight only extends to a pie and dead horse ?.

Same as above


Btw, he forgot one, about halal pork !

---

@aps1080 wrote:
Looks like he is taking the mickey out of halal.


What is wrong with that.


Hve you ever made a joke bout curry munchers, chinese being the reason for a lack stray of cats and dogs ?

Or australian culinary delight only extends to a pie and dead horse ?.

Same as above


Btw, he forgot one, about halal pork !

---

No, never, I don't make offensive comments. Racist connotations in those examples.

Most people have a sense of humour ....i am very sorry to see that you dont appear to have one must be sad going through life without one...:(

---

@am*3 wrote:

This is a prime example of Pickering.. not humor at all - a veiled (poor) attempt at his anti-Muslim stance.

 

Dear Tassal,
1 Is it true you have employed a group of halal licensed Muslims from the mainland who are each given a tube of Superglue and a box of fish scales?
2 Is it true that when fish scales are in short supply it’s “halal okay” to use toenail clippings?
3 Is there another group of halal licensed fishmongers further up the production line who then de-scale the salmon?
4 When killing these poor little buggers are they facing Mecca via Asia or via the South Pole?”

 

In one word - pathetic

 

I wouldn't be surprissed if he has never been to Tasmania either. He never knows what he is talking about all of the time.

_________________

Yes thats very funny