(((((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))

I'm having a hard time and i just need someone to tell me what to do.
So you know i'm pregnant. Am now 4 months and my back and esp my tailbone are killing me.
Since falling pregnant, my plan was to get to Dubbo to see Mum and Dad before Christmas. I would fly there by myself, leaving the kids here with hubby. Told Dad and my sister my plans and they are both really looking forward to my visit. But i did say to them that it would all depend on how I am doing through my pregnancy.
The last 2 weeks of Nov are my best chance to go and i was feeling fine with going.........until now.
Now i'm feeling really stressed and depressed about it. So much so that I cry whenever I think about it.
I don't think i want to see Mum. She was bad when i saw her last time and I know she is worse now and i just don't think I can handle this.
My Doctor is concerned as I had bad PND with my last baby and she wants me to try and stay as stress free as possible during this pregnancy.
I have another Doc appointment in the beginning of Nov and a part of me is hoping the Doc says my blood pressure is to high or something like that so I have an excuse as to why i can't go to Dubbo.
Gawd, how bad is that that i'[m hoping my pregnancy has risks just so i don't have to go see my Mum.
And i feel horrible that if I don't go, i would really be letting my Dad and my sister down cause i know they are really looking forward to seeing me.

I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this. I don't even feel I can talk to hubby about it.
I just want someone to tell me what to do.

(((amy)))

It's a really horrible and difficult situation, and I understand how disappointed your Dad and sister will be if you don't go, but I really think you have to put yourself first.

Pregnancy is such an emotional time anyway, personally I think you should follow your instincts, which at the moment are not to go. You may feel differently by November, but if not I wouldn't go.

Your psychological reasons for not going are just as valid as any physical reasons IMO.:-x

thankyou Keelia

I know everything yo are saying is right and it's what i need to hear, but my heart is breaking and it's killing me.
I'm so sad

Amy could you tell them that your not feeling the best and ask your dad to come stay with you and the kids for a week or even just a few days? Maybe use the money you would have spent on your flights to pay for him?

Amy stop kicking yourself sweetheart your not mean or horrible or selfish, your human! (((((HUGS)))))

mugsy- dad will never leave Mum. There is no way he would come down here for any length of time

You have to do what is best for you and bubs, Amy, do not blame yourself for this.

Good suggestion, Muggsy.

(((((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))

Ive just had a melt down to my kids and they are both in their room bawling and I am sitting here bawling.
I feel horrible and terrible but I just can't deal with them right now, as well as the other things I am trying to deal with.

((((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))

I don't know what to say, I wish I did.

Perhaps call them out, have a great big group hug and a little chat with them, tell them that you are sorry, you love them and always will, that sometimes things get a bit hard, even for adults, and they lose control a bit, but when that happens it doesn't mean you don't love them.

Amy.....I'm hoping that you are feeling better now....but.....if you aren't.....I'm thinkin' your Mum would say this to you if she could....take each day as it comes....YOU have to be your priority and the baby....
.....ok, your Dad and Sister will be disappointed if you can't go to Dubbo....but...if something happened while you're there they would surely feel very sad....
....wait and see how you feel as it gets closer to you going for the visit....if you feel as tho' its gonna' be too difficult....tell them....they will understand.....
...maybe its not such a good idea to see your Mum during your pregnancy.....you need to "listen to your body".....if you're gettin' too stressed....your body is giving you a warning.....
....as a mother myself....I would give this same advise to my daughter....your precious baby is very important to you....and....YOU are precious to your baby....
I hope this can help you.....I always told my daughters when they get stressed-out....think about your breathing.....concentrate on breathing in and out...slowly....
Your children love you dearly...they will understand...
......if I had your address I would send you something through the post.....
Take Care my Dear Friend,
Sylvia