Hi all
Ive talked to my hubby over the weekend and he also said to see how i feel as the time gets closer and he will support whatever decision i make.
So, for now, i'm trying to keep my mind off it a bit and give myself some calm time. Will see how i feel in a few weeks.
Spoke to Dad over the weekend and, for the first time, he said he doesnt expect Mum to make another year.
Mum has been so sick again all this winter and her lungs just arnt recovering.
Ive talked to my hubby over the weekend and he also said to see how i feel as the time gets closer and he will support whatever decision i make.
So, for now, i'm trying to keep my mind off it a bit and give myself some calm time. Will see how i feel in a few weeks.
Spoke to Dad over the weekend and, for the first time, he said he doesnt expect Mum to make another year.
Mum has been so sick again all this winter and her lungs just arnt recovering.
Dad says Mum is not to bad, but she doesnt respond to anything anymore.
I had a checkup on Monday and spoke to my Doctor about me going to Dubbo.
She says, physically i'm fine to go. Mentally i'm struggling.
Her advice...if i can't get mentally ready and keep having panic attacks, then i should not go.
I need to make my mind up by the end of next week.
I had a checkup on Monday and spoke to my Doctor about me going to Dubbo.
She says, physically i'm fine to go. Mentally i'm struggling.
Her advice...if i can't get mentally ready and keep having panic attacks, then i should not go.
I need to make my mind up by the end of next week.
I'm not going to Dubbo.
It's been a very emotional weekend for me.
My hubby doesnt want me to go and had many valid reasons however i was still quite determined, until i spoke to my sister and she agreed with all my hubbys reasons.
Me going to Dubbo will not help Mum.
My plan of giving Mum a stilnox will not fix Mum. Her internal organs are mush and they can't be fixed.
Me being there will be nice for Dad for the time i'm there but then i will leave and he will be exactly the same as he is now.
Me going to Dubbo will not be a good trip for me. It will be very depressing and i will be a mess when i get back home.
Last time i saw Mum, i said my goodbyes. I said i wouldnt/couldnt see her again. I told her to let go. This time will just open up a mass of emotions and depression again.
The next time i go to Dubbo should be for Mums funeral so that i can finally get full closure.
It's been a very emotional weekend for me.
My hubby doesnt want me to go and had many valid reasons however i was still quite determined, until i spoke to my sister and she agreed with all my hubbys reasons.
Me going to Dubbo will not help Mum.
My plan of giving Mum a stilnox will not fix Mum. Her internal organs are mush and they can't be fixed.
Me being there will be nice for Dad for the time i'm there but then i will leave and he will be exactly the same as he is now.
Me going to Dubbo will not be a good trip for me. It will be very depressing and i will be a mess when i get back home.
Last time i saw Mum, i said my goodbyes. I said i wouldnt/couldnt see her again. I told her to let go. This time will just open up a mass of emotions and depression again.
The next time i go to Dubbo should be for Mums funeral so that i can finally get full closure.
All is the same regarding Mum. No change.
My sister is totally supporting me not going to Dubbo and she advised me that it would be best not to tell Dad until it gets closer to the date i was going to go. And she said to tell him it's because my Doctor says my health is not good enough.
She is right.
When i talked to dad on the weekend i was telling him how bad my back hurts and that im having dizzy spells and he really just shrugged them off.
I love my Dad. Don't get me wrong. But he is and has always been a very very self absorbed person.
He really is not concerned about me or his coming grandchild. He just wants me to come to Dubbo for him.
My sister is totally supporting me not going to Dubbo and she advised me that it would be best not to tell Dad until it gets closer to the date i was going to go. And she said to tell him it's because my Doctor says my health is not good enough.
She is right.
When i talked to dad on the weekend i was telling him how bad my back hurts and that im having dizzy spells and he really just shrugged them off.
I love my Dad. Don't get me wrong. But he is and has always been a very very self absorbed person.
He really is not concerned about me or his coming grandchild. He just wants me to come to Dubbo for him.
</
On Tuesday night i told Dad I was not going to be able to come to Dubbo due to my health.
He was disappointed but in the end he said "oh well, you gotta do whats best for the baby. Your Mum will be sad though"
My sister had already told me that she had told Mum i wasnt going to be coming and Mum didnt take her eyes off the tv or react in anyway.
So, i'm not going and i feel a sense of relief about it. I really know that emotionally i wouldnt of handled the trip well
He was disappointed but in the end he said "oh well, you gotta do whats best for the baby. Your Mum will be sad though"
My sister had already told me that she had told Mum i wasnt going to be coming and Mum didnt take her eyes off the tv or react in anyway.
So, i'm not going and i feel a sense of relief about it. I really know that emotionally i wouldnt of handled the trip well
