Oh Amy, that's a tough one! 😞

I dont think he should be talking to you about this, lets face it, he isnt really there for you to talk to when you need him! You've never had that sort of closeness (from what ive read??)

But, of course he is human and obviously misses the company/ contact of a partner, so he is starting a new relationship. He would probably feel conflicted and guilty (Im guessing) but telling you about it maybe needs some validation from you that it's ok??

How does your sister feel about it, was she aware?

You dont have to be on board with it, he shouldnt expect it, just keep your relationship with him as it has always been and if he presses the issue explain that you are not comfortable discussing it at this time. You have a right to process the info and work out your own thoughts/ feelings, nothing worng with that.

Goodluck hun. X

thanks kylie.

You are right. He isnt, and never has been, there for me to talk to.

My sister knew nothing. She also thought it was a bowls trip. She is like me, she doesnt want to know.

Yes, the way he was talking about it did come across as him wanting my validation, but i cant give it.

"explain that you are not comfortable discussing it at this time." Thanks. I will do that

Amy no doubt that it has been and still is a rough trot what has happened to your Mum and as a consequence to the rest of you.

As you've not had a close relationship with your father he probably found it hard to tell you exactly why he went on that little trip. He may not be wanting validation from you, rather wants you to know what is happening and did not know how to approach it.

He has sounded lonely over the past years and probably wants company more than anything else. I wouldn't begrudge him that.  It can be a very lonely life, coming home to an empty house, no one to share the ups and downs of life. It would be terrible.

i know Rose, please believe me that i know.

I dont judge him at all.

I just....well i just cant hear about it. I cant think about it. And i certainly cant talk about it

Don't feel bad Amy. My mum died in 2008, and My dad pretty quickly made friends with a new woman ( one that is married )  He says they are only friends and i believe him, being both parties are strict Catholics. But it still hurts me.... I can understand your pain, as your Mum is still here. Like others have said, he must feel the need for some kind of closeness with another human..Dosn't make it hurt any less though.

Sharing your hurt. ♥

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I just....well i just cant hear about it. I cant think about it. And i certainly cant talk about it

I think you need  ask yourself why you don't want to know about it Amy. Is it only because you are not in habit of sharing things with each other, or are there other more complicated reasons? If there are, then you need to confront them and come to terms with them, because it sounds to me as if your dad is taking the first tentative steps towards letting go, and this is something you have been saying for a long time that he needed to do.:-x

Yes, you are right she ele. I know that. Like i said, im fine with it, i just dont want to know about it. Im 16 hours away, he doesnt need to tell me.

Ive accepted the fact that he never asks about my life or my kids.

Ok, here it comes........ He has never give a damn about what me and my family do. He never asks about his grandkids. So why the heck should i have to hear about his little holidays with some strange woman?

There, thats it. I just figured it out. Im angry that he expects me to be interested in this part of his life when he has never been interested in mine.

In other news, the court case is finished. The passenger lost their case and now had to pay dads legal fees. Dads case against Blackpool has been won, but any money he wins now also has to pay back the travel insurance costs

In other news, the court case is finished. The passenger lost their case and now had to pay dads legal fees. Dads case against Blackpool has been won, but any money he wins now also has to pay back the travel insurance costs

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Why does he have to pay back the travel insurance costs? Aren't they covered in the premium he paid when he took out the insurance?

Why does he have to pay back the travel insurance costs? Aren't they covered in the premium he paid when he took out the insurance?

I dont know or understand. From what i can gather since Blackpool council have admitted part fault, then any monies paid by them to Dad, must pay the travel insurance back. Since they wouldnt have had to pay out all they did if Blackpool council and Mum had not caused the accident

That is a fairly normal thing, if you get a payout for compensation in Au and you have had Centrelink payments eg sickness benefits, you also have to repay some of that.