The Persecutor-Victim Paradox

http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/bullying/persecutor_victim.htm

Stepping sideways

Stuck in the patterns of victim and persecutor, as a surprising number of people are, it can seem that there are only two choices in life, and perhaps that some are fated to live in just one of these whilst others have some fortune or capability to gain superiority.

What is missed in this dilemma is that there are alternatives. When you see life of black, you can miss other shades. And when the shades are just points along the gray from black to white, the potential for the whole spectrum of color may be missed.

It is possible to get off the persecutor-victim treadmill and step sideways into many other roles where the person is neither. Perhaps surprisingly and perhaps not, this realization can be quite a revelation to many.

Transactional Analysis (TA) brings in the notion of the parent and child states that are in all of us, including where the adult becomes persecutor and the child the victim state. TA deliberately adds the intervening adult state, which is neither adult nor child, and neither persecutor nor victim.

Adults stand up to bullies, but will not seek revenge. They assert their rights and act with independence and humanity.

Helping those who are being bullied and also those who are doing the bullying often means moving the...

http://www.lyricstime.com/the-seekers-we-shall-not-be-moved-lyrics.html

Well I'm on my way to heaven,
We shall not be moved.
On my way to heaven
We shall not be moved,
Just like a tree that's standing by the water side,
We shall not be moved.

Chorus:
We shall not, we shall not be moved.
We shall not, we shall not be moved.
Just like a tree that's standing by the water side
We shall not be moved.

On the road to freedom,

We shall not be moved.
On the road to freedom
We shall not be moved,
Just like a tree that's standing by the water side,
We shall not be moved.

Chorus

We're brothers together,
We shall not be moved.
We're brothers together,
We shall not be moved.
Just like a tree that's standing by the water side
We shall not be moved.

I cant be bothered to read this whole thread.

I think the world "bullying" is thrown around on these boards a bit too much.

I also think if you really feel you are being bullied and it is upsetting you, then stop posting here.

There are plenty of other chat boards to go to

Hi, I like that froghollowdrummer 🙂

we are all brothers and sisters together 

DDB, Just exploring that concept in another situation.

If you were at a social event which was attended by security ..and there was a group of abusive people who's behaviour was anti social would you expect that you or them should be told to leave ?

well, i would expect them to be told to leave, but we dont always get what we expect or want, so, if they wernt told to leave, then i would leave.

Why would i stay in a situation that upsets me?

Margo, that is totally different to the personal compliment you gave me when you posted that you had been following the Mental Health Thread.

Threads like this seem to be started after perceived slights in other thread... don't like what is said.. run off and start another thread about bullying... it is a pattern now.

I can see the pattern A3

Threads like this seem to be started after perceived slights in other thread... don't like what is said.. run off and start another thread about bullying... it is a pattern now.

....and a pattern of posters following others around saying just that ^^^^^^^^ 😞