The last time I was in hospital for surgery, I was fretting over family members needing me to be there at home, so I got myself off the press-the-button painkillers asap, and went walking around the hospital floor and up and down the stairs without delay to demonstrate how ready I was to whizz off home. I couldn’t risk the “I’ll be as curmudgeonly as possible” strategy!

Quite possible. I have double-checked and can confirm I have no moustache or beard.

Your arm has a moustache?

Welk, now I cannot help envisaging a handlebar salute.