All I see is a buyer who does not understand how ebay works.

Sorry, but you need to read the rules and follow  them if you want to trade safely on ebay.

If you bought the item at the end of January you should have been looking at opening a dispute by early March if the seller could not prove they had shipped the item.

And never refuse a refund when it is offered when there are already problems with the transaction.

If you paid with paypal and funded the payent with a credit or Visa debit card you could contact your bank about a chargeback.   There are time limits for that also, it depends on the bank concerned.