some have empathy, others aren't aware of the feelings and don't know what they are or how to express them for themselves far less recognize a need in others.

Grandmoon, Tara's on the money.

small one step instructions.

"say please when you ask for something is actually a LOT of instructions and often they need to practise following each step of the instruction and breaking it down.

Practise role playing with her - show her what is expected and let her practise in a safe environment.

draw picture boards too

Show and play out the different scenarios ie the likely response when she says please and how it makes others feel and what their reactions are if they don't.

they're often in a world of thier own and cannot understand the role that oher people play in their lives. It's not being selfish, they just don't understand any better. They just know that they need their needs to be met.

also tara hit on thius, at times of anxiety etc, they may forget what they're supposed to do, even if they have been taught and practised heaps/ They don't do this on purpose, it's just if they get overwhelmed or anxious other stuff kind of gets more focused.