Transgender is NOT the same thing as Gay. 

Gay men, do not want to be women. Gay women don't want to be men. The few gay people who think that way, are probably transgender. 

Not all gay men have feminine qualities. In fact, some gay men are very masculine. Many gay women are very feminine.

As far as your orifice analogy goes... some men(who are not gay) insert their hard-drive in the optional portal. That is normal for them. 

Gay women can buy the new and improved hard-drive, with all the bells and whistles. 

As a good friend once said to her husband(when they found out their son was gay): It's simple... do you know what turns you on? Well, so does our son. Why would anybody even have to question, or discuss that? 

Poddy, It seems to me that you don't understand why gay people are not attracted to the opposite sex. 

Do you know why you are attracted to some women, and not others? It just is what it is. No explanation needed. 

By the way, how many hours do you spend with your partner/wife? How many of those hours are spent doing anything other than playing with your hard-drive?