I don't need weather radar, I don't need to look out the window, I've got a pair of young cockatoos who work each other up into a state of near hysteria if there's the slightest sniff of rain in the air. They're a worry.

I shouldn't criticise, I've a good dozen cockatooos sitting out the rain under the pergola, at the moment. Sooks.

They're the ones who want me to build the curved top piece of the arch - it'll give them more perching room. I've tried explaining the complications that will, no doubt arise, such as where it's going to go - "Here, under the pergola, obviously" - No, no, the ends of it have to attach to Something... "That's not our problem, you're the one building it... Think creatively...". Bird, it doesn't work like that. You have to take into account little things like my not banging my head on it. "You're always thinking about yourself...".

There are days when I don't feel strong enough to argue with the birds.