😞 (((hugs))) Amy, this must be so terribly hard for your whole family. My heart breaks for you and what you (and your kids) have lost with your mum and all she has lost. ♥

Hugs Amy for you & your family. I'm thinking of you. ♥♥

Amy I don't come here much anymore but for the past few days I have been wondering where your thread was...I am so sorry that it has gone downhill this time with your mum..you are amazing how you are dealing with all of this:( Your mum is so lucky to have you xxxxx

Thursday will be 2 years since the accident.

Im having a hard time at the moment. Torn between two thoughts.

I said my goodbye to Mum when i left Dubbo with the hopes that that would be my last goodbye. I feel like my Mother is gone and........i kind of feel at peace with that.

But then. every Thurs, Fri and Sat nights i have to talk to Dad. Talk to dad about Mum and im having a hard time doing that.

Even when it was her birthday, i was having a hard time talking to her on the phone....because i feel she has gone.

(((((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))

And sending ((((Hugs)))) Amy ♥

Amy, there's so much I want to say but puting it into words is difficult.

We don't know what goes on in the minds of these accident victims like your darling Mum, we don't know that she isn't understanding whats happening around her. You sound as if you have accepted the fact that your Mum is no longer a living breathing person, but she is Amy. What about all the elderly folk with dementia, they still need their family to nurture, love and care for them.

I hope I haven't misunderstood your posts, but I get the feeling you are pushing your Mum away because her condition hasn't improved to the extent that you wished it would.

Your Mum is still your Mum Amy, she needs you and loves you, and no doubt would do anything to have things differently.

♥♥♥

i understand freddie and yes, i think i am pushing her away.

Im pushing her away because i dont think she is there anymore.
Last year when i saw her....i really saw her in there and i know she saw and understood me.
This time, i really dont think she in there anymore.

I know how upsetting this is for you, but my heart breaks because you feel it necessary to push your Mum away.

I know how much you love and care for your Mum and feel perhaps this is just your way of coping with the trauma of this situation. It's not important for you to make decisions such as this, you don't need to push your Mum away, this isn't achieving anything.

Are you still getting help in dealing with your feelings Amy?

no, this is the only place i can really talk