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@chameleon54 wrote:

I,m not sure if this control and intimidation is a cultural thing or just a normal mis- placed teenage thing, but either way I dont think it would be in our daughters best interest to have anything to do with this guy..

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why wouldnt it be just misplaced teenage thing?  I would deal with it just as I would deal with unwanted advances of any boy.  The boy has to learn what is not OK.

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@***super_nova*** wrote:

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@chameleon54 wrote:

I,m not sure if this control and intimidation is a cultural thing or just a normal mis- placed teenage thing, but either way I dont think it would be in our daughters best interest to have anything to do with this guy..

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why wouldnt it be just misplaced teenage thing?  I would deal with it just as I would deal with unwanted advances of any boy.  The boy has to learn what is not OK.

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The behaviors and messages where a bit more extreme than what we would regard as " normal " teenage infatuation.

 Luckily they have stopped now.

While it may not be PC to discuss these subjects, it doesn't change the fact that different cultures view woman and girls in a different way to western society. In some cultures, girls are sold off as child brides or forced into arranged marriages, forced to undergo genital mutilation, expected to clean house and have numerous children from the onset of puberty, not welcome in education systems, expected to accept polygimous marriges etc.  These oppressive behaviors are not accepted by western society but are still common place in many traditional South African cultures.

Added to this the fact that many genuine refugees are coming to Australia from countries with extreme social violence, where different ethnic and religious groups are at war with each other and committing attrocities of murder and rape on a daily basis. This must have a profound effect on young people growing up in these societies, challenging their perception of what is normal and acceptable.

When we accept genuine refugees from these war torn countries into Australia, we need to accept that they will be bringing this baggage with them and look to address the problems this causes in a mature way. This does not include hiding behind a narrow minded, veil of political correctness that refuses to admit, accept  or address the obvious problems these cultural and social differences will bring.

I am not saying that we should not accept genuine refugee's. Probably the biggest eye opener for me was to witness a poor young African girl in a secure psychiatric ward at our states main hospital for several days. She was wandering around in her own little, tormented world, talking to herself and reliving horrors of rape and murder of family members. Anyone nearby was receiving a running commentary of her experiences, re-lived over and over. Her family came to visit regularly, but there was no change in her behaviour when they where there. It was one of the most moving and haunting experiences I have ever had.