I knew if I waited long enough the phone companies would come around to my thinking... ha ha...

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I believe Elliot Ness was one of the first to have this one -

I half expected to find plans, scrawled in feline text, under the bed, showing that the cat really had meticulously plotted the exact point of greatest inconvenience for me, on which to lie... ha ha...

"Oh, he's so cute..." said my girlfriend at the time.

It was okay for her, she could lie lengthwise on the bed, even with the cat taking up his favourite spot, right in the middle of the bed... ha ha...

The cat and the girlfriend have both been consigned to history... Pity... I was rather fond of that cat, ha ha...

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Good try.

But a very poor excuse for not pulling ' your weight ' on the island.

"Rats", I believe is the correct response... ha ha...

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"You could leave some for me...", said Mother possum...

I think she was half joking...

Her little girl is about the size of a kitten, but don't let that fool you...

She managed to make her way through two heaped tablespoons of creamed corn, ha ha.

"You know, that blob of corn is almost as big as you are..."...

"Can't talk... Eating...", ha ha...

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The Mall offers free parking for the first two hours.

I would think that would be a more than adequate amount of time, given that all I'm doing is going to the supermarket...

But then I enter The Supermarket Zone... It's a bit like the Twilight Zone without the spooky theme music (Unless you count Supermarket Radio - recycled "hits' from the 80's and 90's as spooky music, ha ha...)...

And time, somehow, isn't time anymore...

To think that life  has come to this.

When I was young if I wanted to pass an afternoon I'd spend it with my friends, and we'd probably sit around complaining about how it was taking forever for the afternoon to pass, ha ha.

Now, I go to the supermarket and if I blink, there's the afternoon gone, ha ha...

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