“and she said that all eBayers overcharge postage”

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I take great offence at that comment

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In 9 years of selling I have never even charged a handling charge, and if postage has been cheaper than quoted, I have ALWAYS given a refund of the difference

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"she had more urgent things to think about than refunding me"

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That "smart" statement alone would be enough to earn a neg from me

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NEG her and leave a one for communication and postage charges

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It is people like that who give honest aBayers a bad name