NEG her ... she ripped you off

the buyer was not ripped off IF they had all the information required to make an informed decision as to whether or not to bid/buy, and then decided to bid/buy, which in this case they did.  Buyers consider their 'Total Spend' when deciding  . . . . . . I feel like I am going around in circles here!

This buyer knew the P&H costs as they were clearly stated in the listing and they agreed to them by deciding to bid/buy.  Sure, all sellers should only charge reasonable P&H, but buyers can walk away from a listing if the P&H charges are unreasonable.  By bidding/buying you are agreeing to their charges for P&H and are considering them reasonable, otherwise you wouldn't bid/buy.