I feel your pain. Years back we had a similar thing happen with a pick up item (a desk) and the woman was interstate. The hassle we had from that you would not believe. We swore never again. I can promise you this man would not have been happy once he found out the courier costs either.

Obviously, you should have stuck to your guns and said sorry, pick up only, then issued a non payment strike.

Well, you know for next time.

This time, ring ebay. Get them to look at the ad.

My feeling is, given the pick up only part was clearly mentioned and the bidder has given a neg because you would not post, that the feedback will be removed.

If the first person you ring won't do it, I'd ring again later and see if a different supervisor will see reason.

If you get nowhere, then reply to the neg. I would be inclined to put something like

Clearly listed as PICK UP only. Buyer didn't pay or pick up & negs me?