The majority of businesses accept credit card payments and lets face it its commonsense surely that the frequency of charge backs is very, very small. 

In any case if a professional courier company is organised by buyer to collect there are transaction records for the freight including from - to address details. 

There are many successful, highly respected ebay businesses particularly in the antiques area, that sell using mostly pick up only, and indicate that they are happy to liaise with  a buyers choice of couriers,  I would think that this would not be offered if it was such a significant risk.

Whilst some may not choose to accept a courier delivery for a pick up only item - it can be the difference between making a sale or not.- and it should be noted in a listing that courier pick up will not be accepted.