I have spoken to ebay who advise that I don't have to accept the items back as it is over the time limit,  however,  if the buyer then opens a dispute through Paypal she would probably get a refund.   I spoke to paypal and they said they would need proof from me that the dress didn't have the damage when sent out.....I only have a photo of the whole dress not a tiny portion of it in the exact spot.

I have until the 9th to decide whether to leave it and hope the buyer doesn't go for a paypal dispute or negotiate with her about a partial refund.

Thank you all for your advice.